MK in Wonderland

In true MK fashion....

2010-08-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

I've moved! Not houses, just blogs :) Bookmark the new site...and subscribe to have my posts delivered straight to your inbox!

My new home: http://mkinwonderland.wordpress.com

tales of a 4th grade nothing (everything).

2010-08-10T15:12:00.000-07:00

When I tell people that I want to teach middle school, I usually get a variety of responses, from “…ew…why…” to “wow, you’re brave”, all of which are obviously really comforting and supportive. But I have a soft spot for middle schoolers, regardless of the fact that half of them haven’t started wearing deodorant yet and the other half smell like a combination of peanut butter sandwiches and Teen Spirit. I remember what it’s like to be in that awkward stage (and by remember, I mean I live it on a day to day basis). I had a few things working against me, and yet I still managed to make it out alive.

My major fashion influences were Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All and Blossom from…Blossom. Which means that I purposely never matched and had an abundance of hats with a flower on the front of them. I specifically remember one of my favorite outfits being this red floral sundress, with a white long sleeved shirt underneath it, white tights, and black Doc Martins. All I have to say is thank god I was required to wear a uniform and outfits like that only made appearances on dress down days and weekends. Oh, and should I mention that my friends and I “modeled” for Limited Too? Which clearly resulted in us buying all matching outfits, just in different colors, and wearing them on the reg.

I had to grow into my nose. And while I’m still waiting for that to happen, it was abundantly obvious when my body and head were a bit smaller and I had an unflattering haircut that included a middle part and bangs. All great things.

The first two CDs I owned were TLC’s “CrazySexyCool” and Boyz II Men’s “II”. I kid you not. Let that marinate. Apparently I thought I was an R&B superstar in the making. Exactly what business did I have listening to “Red Light Special” whilst making up a dance to it in the girl’s bathroom having NO idea what the song actually meant. Or perhaps listening to “I’ll Make Love to You” during our quite G-rated “boy-girl parties” that happened in someone’s basement and usually involved a medium to high amount of adult supervision. No business. Whatsoever.

On the note of music, I should add that the first dance moved that I learned outside of dance class was the butterfly. I can barely type that without laughing out loud. One of my closest friends growing up had the cool older cousin who attempted to teach us how to dance. I can still see it, the group of us in her basement with the black and white checkered floor, concentrating SO hard on trying to do the butterfly that I’m pretty sure at one point I was doing an 8-count out loud. So rest assured, when the GNA school dances rolled around, here we were doing the butterfly. Most likely while wearing white tights and Doc Martins. To the tune of “Creep” by TLC, naturally.

I got “Glamour Shots” taken. I will say I was most definitely not the only one, in fact it was all the rage. But there is no excuse for me to look straight out of “Toddlers and Tiaras” in a full face of makeup, popping my jean jacket collar, smiling with my eyes before Tyra even knew about that little gem of a trick. And then giving my “boyfriend” at the time a wallet sized copy of the picture.

I was obsessed with Tori Spelling. I was obsessed with 90210 as a whole, but specifically with Tori Spelling and, naturally, Brian Austin Green. You can’t be obsessed with Donna Martin without being equally obsessed with David Silver. My locker was basically wallpapered with pictures from Tiger Beat, Teen Beat, any sort of Beat magazine you could possibly imagine. Seriously, Megan? You couldn’t have picked someone a little more…respectable? I mean, I think even Shannon Doherty and Luke Perry would have been a better choice at this point. Excessive sideburns and all.

So I get the awkward stage. It’s part of growing up, and it’s way more fun to look back on than to actually go through. If the things that were the end of the world then, were the end of the world now, I’d be sitting pretty. Well, to be accurate, I’d be writing in my diary about how my crush of that week didn’t sit next to me at lunch and how I could die of embarrassment because no one told me that I had bagel stuck in my braces. But I can’t help it; I have that soft spot for those years.

So much so, that I still break out the butterfly on occasion (every weekend).

MK

(mis)match.com

2010-07-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

I came across this old message in my inbox from my Match.com account and just couldn’t ignore it. So don’t think of it as judging, think of it as a lesson in what not to do. Then judge accordingly. And thank me later.

Subject: A compliment for a lovely lady

Is it? Because I’m pretty sure the sheer fact that you’re emailing me, thinking that you have a chance is, in fact, an insult.

It’s unusual for me to write to someone who is so much younger than myself, but you are seemingly much different than the average run of the mill young woman.

Unusual, eh? I get the feeling you have copied and pasted this gem of a message many a time.

Your feet seem so firmly planted on terra firma. You appear to be bright and cheerful and willing to stick your toe into new and exciting waters. I like curiosity in a person, which you seem to have in abundance, and of course you are just lovely.

Could you not just have said “You seem very grounded”? If you ever stood a chance, which you did not, you officially just lost it at “terra firma”. I’m willing to stick my toe into new and exciting waters? First of all, ew. I hate feet. I didn’t realize I needed to include that fun fact in my profile. If you MUST use them in conversation, can you at least pluralize your usage of toe? Somehow it makes it slightly less offensive, but still makes me dry heave a bit. And what tells you that I’m willing to do so with said toe? Or that I have, not just a little bit, but an abundance of curiosity? The fact that I’m on match.com? Doesn’t that make me JUST like all of the other women on here? And didn’t curiosity kill the cat? Have we learned nothing? I digress.

I am a cheerful, fit, fun, thoughtful, and emotionally well adjusted man. I take each day on its own merits. There is always something new to discover and a new path to follow wherever it might lead. I am a curious traveler, an innovative cook, a man whose talents are now given to writing fiction and whose favorite physical activities are tennis, hiking, biking, and gardening. Toss in a trip to a museum, the theater opera and you start to get a clear picture of the man behind the keyboard in cyberspace.

Sigh. Where to begin. I will take the first four adjectives without commenting. But I’m morally obligated to comment on the fact that you referred to yourself as an “emotionally well adjusted man”. The fact that you had to tell me that in the first place, leads me to believe that someone once told you that you are not, in fact, emotionally well adjusted. When I read this, all I can visualize is someone (me) yelling “I’M NOT CRAZY”. Yeah, okay. Crazy. “I am a curious traveler, an innovative cook..” I’d appreciate it if you could cite examples of these. Because a curious traveler sounds lost to me, and an innovative cook sounds like “what can I make from a can of pinto beans, the last Sam Adams bottle, and half of a frozen potato knish because that’s all I have left in my kitchen right now.” I used Sam Adams because that’s what my Dad drinks and I’m pretty sure you two are close in age. I just put you and my Dad in the same sentence. Let that marinate. You describe gardening as a “physical activity” and while I get the idea, you grouped it with three LEGIT physical activities. You don’t hear people saying “I have to go to the bar to watch gardening this afternoon” or “My girlfriend, who might have the initials MKD, hates my fantasy gardening league”. The theatre opera? As opposed to…? And that is a legitimate question, as I have never attended the opera…because I’m under the age of 50. Thank you, for the clear picture of the man behind the keyboard in cyberspace. He looks a lot like someone that Chris Hansen tricked into walking into the kitchen by having an underage girl offer him fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, among other things.

Yes, there is an age gap between us. However, somehow, a little voice tells me that you march to your own drummer; that you might be someone who is inclined toward living her life a little out of the ordinary box and be interested overcoming the great American taboo concerning older/younger friendships.

Emotionally well adjusted people do not hear little voices. Just throwing that out there. So either you aren’t emotionally well adjusted…or you didn’t hear a little voice….which means that you may have fibbed. We’re already lying? And just out of my abundance of curiosity, by “the great American taboo concerning older/younger friendships” did you happen to mean “Megan’s law?” My idea of living life a little out of the ordinary box involves drinking wine straight out of the bag (yeah. bag.) or wearing full coverage undies with tight pants because I go for comfort over….everything else. But to each his own.

So...please do review my profile and if the spirit moves you, I'd love to hear back from you.

Review I have. Yet again, I ask, does the spirit move emotionally well adjusted people? If you’re going to make a statement so bold as claiming to be emotionally well adjusted, don’t you think your supporting statements should have been a bit more…supportive? So now we have little voices and spirits…someone does not have their feet so firmly planted on terra firma, if you ask me. And I’d love a lot of things, Steve. I’d love money to fall out of the sky, for my laundry to fold itself, for low budget commercials to come on at a reasonable volume instead of at 987 decibels, for Bethenny Frankel to be my bff, for craving Taco Bell at 9am to be socially acceptable, for Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson to get back together, for my hair to grow in evenly instead of in a mullet that would rival Kenny Powers’ and simultaneously make Billy Ray Cyrus jealous, for ice cream cake to even out the ice cream: crunchie ratio, and for Boy Meets World to come on a half hour earlier in the morning so that I can watch it before work. Just to name a few.

Ciao bella,
Steve

Ciao bella only sounds good if you meet the following criteria: you actually are Italian, you are standing on the streets of Italy while saying it, and you happen to look like John Stamos (who I realize is Greek, not Italian, but how else was I supposed to get Uncle Jesse into this post? Deal with it.) But even then, it might be pushing it. Going forward, please stick with things like: “warm regards”, “best”, or in this specific instance “I’m sorry”.

MK

PS - For future reference, I still need clarification on the following: the theatre opera, gardening as a physical activity, and what about my profile said “sending this message is a good idea”.

more wonders of my world.

2010-07-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I blogged about some of my greatest wonders in life and in the whirlwind of awkwardness that is my life…I’ve come across a few others.

1. Drivers that are even more aggressive than me. I am already an aggressive driver. I learned to drive in New Jersey. My Suzuki sidekick (RIP, moment of silence) looked like a bumper car after I drove it for three years. My best friend, with whom I traveled with for most of high school, is a madwoman behind the wheel. I speed, I tailgate, I slam my brakes, I occasionally give obscene gestures, and my overall road rage is generally high. So explain to me why, when I’m already going 85mph in a 55…you’re practically on top of my car. Seriously, explain that to me. If I was going 60…okay. But at this point it appears as if you’re doing so just to annoy me. And while it does annoy me, it’s going to annoy you even more when I tap my brakes and you have to spend your precious time giving me your insurance information because you just ran into the back of my car. You aren’t that important and you don’t have anywhere THAT cool to rush to. Slow your roll.

2. This next one is a touchy subject, and I can already guess the response of any parents that are reading this – “wait until you have kids…” or “it’s different when it’s your child…”. Sorry, not buying it. Because I also happen to know parents who are equally as bothered by this. Crying children in restaurants. Nothing sets the mood during a meal that you are paying for like a child whining in your ear, kicking the booth, or having an overall meltdown. If you choose to bring your child who is not old enough to know how to act appropriately to a restaurant, that’s your call. But I will give you a dirty look for every minute that your child spends interrupting my meal, conversation and overall ambiance. I’m not saying don’t take your kid(s) out. I’m saying when they start getting loud, take them out of the RESTAURANT and my general hearing. Because yes, people are judging you. And your parenting. Boom.

3. Along the lines of the above wonder of my world, comes texting/talking on the phone at the movie theatre. This never fails to amaze/annoy me. I was an obsessive phone checker, but you can leave your phone in your purse and still look to see if anyone has called or texted you without lighting up half of the theatre. If you’re a guy, chances are it is in your pocket and would’ve vibrated when importance calls. (Read: it never called.) Texting aside, I do not understand one single thing about talking on the phone during a movie. First of all, I don’t even usually get service in the theatre so I’d like to know what carrier you have. Second of all, ARE YOU SERIOUS? I’ve heard your conversations. They consist of nothing. They consist of telling your friends what you are doing and answering their questions in one word answers. And typically you’re talking so unclearly that I doubt they can even understand what you’re saying, unless of course they speak the same way, in which case they’re probably sitting in a movie, annoying an entirely different set of people. Why would you pay 10 dollars to talk through a movie? If that’s your thing, I have a phone bill with your (my) name on it that you can pay. Since you like throwing money away.

4. Random acts of dumbness. One of my favorite stories from college is when one of my closest friends got a McDonalds Hershey pie thrown at her car. If I was able to, I’d make her tell the story while I recorded it and post it here, just so you could get the full effect. However, it became less funny when I was accosted by a full fountain soda while innocently driving down 695. (No, this was not a result of my aggressive driving or obscene gestures, I assure you.) Naturally, when I saw them slow down, roll down their window, and heard something hit my car…I assumed I had been shot/was going to die. Have you seen The Wire? I have. But no, you are so bored with your life that you chose to roll down your window, and waste the dollar that you spent on your Big Gulp so that you could throw it at my car. I didn’t even do anything. If you REALLY wanted to do something, I could’ve surely found someone talking on their cell phone in the movie theatre or a crying child in a restaurant for you to blindside with your drink of choice. (I just laughed to myself as I typed that. Whatever. You think it, I type it. Big whoop.)

Don’t get me wrong, I love life. I just happen to have a few pet peeves here and there. And in a few more months, I may just grace you with those yet again.

MK

my healthy obsession

2010-07-20T15:50:00.000-07:00

I just finished up a big project for my first class and my topic was my favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird. Going into the project I thought, this will be fun and pretty easy, considering I know the book inside and out. What I didn’t realize, was how it would remind me why exactly I was obsessed with the book in the first place. It saddens me that people aren’t reading as much anymore. Not only is it affecting our literacy rates, but for me – reading was always an outlet, an escape. I think the Kindles and all the ereaders are great, especially as someone who has had to move the equivalent of a fully stocked library from house to house. But there is something about reading a book, the way that it smells, and how tattered the ones that are your favorite soon become. I am an underliner, a doggy-earer. Some of my books are in pieces because the binding is so worn down. And the first book that ever truly consumed me was To Kill a Mockingbird. Fifty years later, it is still one of the most widely read books in the world.

The language and writing of the book is not terribly complicated. In fact, it’s all rather simple. But as soon as I read the description of the small, Alabama town, I was hooked:

"Maycomb was an old town, but it was a tired old town when I first knew it. In rainy weather the streets turned to red slop; grass grew on the sidewalks, the courthouse sagged in the square. Somehow it was hotter then: a black dog suffered on a summers day; bony mules hitched to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks on the square. Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning. Ladies bathed before noon, after their three- o'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum."

If I could ever write a paragraph, just one single paragraph that even remotely compared to that one, I could lay down at die, right at that moment. I have a soft spot for southern literature. Mark Twain later captured me the same way Harper Lee did with Mockingbird. And the characters. Sigh. Wise and moral Atticus, feisty Scout, and mysterious Boo Radley. This town and these characters made me want to rip through the pages to find out what happens next. They made me hungry for more, and are single-handedly responsible for my fondness of reading and writing. I don’t see many people reading with the same ferocity anymore. I have a handful of friends that are avid readers and I try to get anyone I can to read. I will search the book store up and down until I find a book that I think that person would like. And if you are friends with or related to me, you know that there is a 99% chance you will get a book from me at one time or another. I can’t help myself.

I think everyone is a reader, most people just haven’t found that one book that changes everything for them. Some do early on, and some never will. But you won’t know until you try, so think about putting down the ipod, the laptop, whatever it is that you’re using as a form (if not multiple forms) of distraction, and become completely distracted with something else. Even if you have already read it, pick up a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird and read it for the second time. It will become a completely different story because of what you know now versus what you knew when you read it the first time. Whether it is the first, second, or tenth time you read it, those two words, “Hey Boo”, will stay with you for a long time, maybe even forever.

MK

(co)habitation station.

2010-07-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

Holy blog hiatus. I’m back.

So, as many of you know, I am now a 21226 zip code resident after my 9th move. If only it came with an awesome theme song, a lycra minidress and a crowd to yell “Donna Martin graduates!” in the background. One can dream. And just as I do with everything else…I’ve learned a few things this time around. No major life lessons, as of yet, but just a few things I’ve put in the vault after a couple of months living with the boyf.

1. Expensive shampoo is for the birds. I was never one of those girls who paid 30 dollars for a bottle of shampoo, I stick with stuff from the drug store but tended to fall right in between White Rain and the expensive (read: 14 dollars and up) section. This move was a gradual one of about ohhh two months…so prior to my toiletries, all 9830893 of them, being moved over I was using the bf’s stuff. One week of using Suave products later…I decided I’d never go back to anything over three bucks a bottle. If only there was some sort of product to fix the borderline mullet I currently have going on.

2. Perhaps I don’t need to hang on to everything. I got rid of 5 trashbags of clothes. And they were packed full, yet somehow I still managed to take over 97% of the walk-in closet. B, being the accommodating guy that he is, essentially shrugs his shoulders, takes out half his clothes, tosses some in the donate pile, and the others in an additional closet and that was that. It was at that moment, that I had to go back and reflect on the fact that I was still holding on to things that I hadn’t worn since I lived in my first house in Baltimore…four years ago. After growing used to themed mixers and parties in college, I had learned never to throw things away because you never know when you’ll need that sequined Michael Jackson-esque jacket or zebra-print halter top that you may or may not have ordered after a combination of cocktails and online shopping. It pained me to donate so many clothes, especially considering the fact that I’m probably still paying for them in credit card debt, but if I hadn’t worn it in the past year…it was going.

3. You can put your phone down for an hour or two and, turns out, the world doesn’t end. I admit it, I was addicted to my phone. I realize I’m not that important, but the thought of being out of touch used to send me into a panic. So my phone went everywhere with me and I checked it constantly. I started to take a cue from the bf and leave my phone in another room or even (GASP) at home when I left the house. And so far, no one has needed to urgently speak to me at that moment and I haven’t missed out on any life changing events. Coincidentally, I have also reconciled with the infamous iPhone. Naturally, I wouldn’t be MKD if I didn’t date someone that owned an iPhone. But seeing as it isn’t the 3rd member of our relationship, I hold no grudges or jealousy issues with it, and we even play well together from time to time. Perhaps this will be the year I reconcile with fantasy football, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

4. If you want things done…you actually have to do them. Simple concept, right? Ah, if it was that simple, I wouldn’t have convinced myself in not one, but two houses that an extra large mirror looked perfectly find on the ground and was quite practical as a makeup station. It is no secret that B is a doer (do-er? You get the point). The day after I officially moved in, I decided to nap after an exhausting morning of shopping (tough life.) only to wake up to the extra large mirror mounted on the wall in the kitchen, in addition to new blinds, curtains, you name it, it was up. Ah. So this is what it’s like to follow through on projects that you start. And no “I don’t have time” excuses. If you have time to sit in front of a mirror to do your makeup, you have time to hang it. And by that I mean, you have time to find someone else to hang it because I can barely lift the mirror, let alone mount it on something.

5. I’m not the only one who likes to watch Full House in the morning. No explanation needed. Have mercy.

I’d be curious to know what B has learned from me in the past few months, and by curious I mean frightened and slightly nervous. But in all fairness, it’s not my fault that I suffer from a rare, unknown disease that causes me to transform into a cranky, whining child when I’m hungry, tired, bored or a combination of the three. Just saying.

MK

daddy's girl.

2010-06-20T08:02:00.000-07:00

I find the relationship between fathers and daughters to be one of the most complex and, at times, complicated out of all family relationships. Or maybe just mine. We start out as Daddy’s little girl, then transition into being horribly embarrassed by our Dad simply breathing in front of our friends, and then slowly realize that he may or may not know a thing or two about life and might even be (gasp) one of your best friends.

I fully blame my nerdiness and love of books on my Dad. (Which, if you ask me, is one of the better things I’ve blamed him for in the last 25 years, so just take this one and run with it, Dad.) My dad could spend hours in a library and a bookstore, and often has – whether it is for his own reading pleasure or for his daughter’s. He has books upon books about anything you could possibly imagine. (And if you ever need ANY type of home remedy, you better believe Bill has a book for it. God forbid I complain about my sinuses BEFORE using my netty pot.) I couldn’t have asked for a better trait to pick up, as it has turned into one of my favorite hobbies and biggest creative outlets. But with his love for reading, he also passed on a wealth of creativity to me, probably unknowingly. Every night he’d sit beside me and tell me stories before I went to bed, and most of the time they never involved reading out of a book. My Dad simply told them as he went, at least until he fell asleep next to me. It would only be hours later that I would wake up, my knees throbbing (really, you would think I’m an Olympic athlete with my body ailments, when apparently it’s just my growth plates) and my Dad would come in, sportscreme in hand, and if requested….a bread and butter sandwich as well. While I probably never uttered a “thank you” at the time, I have never forgotten the many nights my Dad got out of bed to do so. (Not to mention the nights he got out of bed to kill any and every bug that I may or may not have heard/seen.)

Another activity that we always did, was visit local garage sales regularly. It was our thing. My Mom probably loathed it, since it inevitably involved us coming home with someone else’s junk, but our garage sale trips are some of my most fond memories. I have little snippets of memories of us – the days I worked beside him at his coffee shop in Montgomeryville Mart, the Christmas mornings that I think he was more excited for than I was just because he could see my brother and I opening our gifts, and all the days he spent driving me to and picking me up from school when I didn’t take the bus.

But my most vivid memories come much later, in fact, they were just four years ago. I had quit my first “real” job (if you can even call it that, in my opinion it was more of a sweat shop), I was sitting in an apartment that I could no longer afford, and I was by myself. It was close to 1am, but I called home anyway. And as soon as my Dad picked up the phone, probably in a panic since the only times we get late night calls usually involve bad news, I lost it. He didn’t say I was wrong for quitting, he didn’t say I was juvenile for not thinking ahead financially. Instead, he told me a story about one of his first jobs where he thought he was going to be doing something much more glamorous and exciting…but turned out to be nothing more than a file clerk. Not even a glorified file clerk. JUST a file clerk. And while it wasn’t his dream job, he walked away from it knowing more than he knew going into it. I hung up the phone that night feeling better – I knew I still had to find a new job, find a way to afford my apartment, and to make my new life, but I also knew that my Dad had been there and done that. And got through it just fine.

I would like to say that it only got easier from there, but unfortunately not. A few short months later, I was in a different one bedroom apartment, still alone, still feeling completely isolated and my depression seemed to have hit an all time low. My Dad drove down to Baltimore one Friday afternoon, met me at my apartment after navigating through the city with – what I’m sure were – my terrible directions, and tried his best to reassure his daughter that it’s not so bad, it could be worse, and it will get better. I had stopped socializing, I came home after work and got in bed, and only got out to go to work or go to the gym. All I had in my fridge was a box of leftover crab nachos from Nacho Mama’s and a few condiments. My Dad took me to Ciao Bella’s and as I forced Seafood Fettucine down my throat, he looked at me and said asked how I was. I fought tears, I answered in as little words as possible because I knew I’d cry otherwise. Then he told me something that I carried with me for the next four years. “You wake up everyday with the ability to make it a good day or a bad day.” And suddenly it clicked. He was right. I was in control of my life, I was letting all of my days be bad days. To say he picked me up by my bootstraps doesn’t even do his visit justice. Without that conversation, I probably would have moved back home. I wouldn’t have met the people and had the experiences that I had in the last four years. My Dad saved my early twenties with one statement. And more than any late night bread and butter sandwich, this is something that I will never be able to thank him enough for.

I have so many more memories that I would have loved to cram into this entry, but I wanted to choose the most significant. And that’s the thing about my Dad. Is that I can go home to visit my parents in New Jersey and pop in a video of any Christmas morning, any game I cheered at, a gymnastics class, a dance recital. Because he was there for all of them, undoubtedly embarrassing me at the time, but creating memories that I would be able to have for the rest of my life. At the time I had no idea how much I would later appreciate his willingness to endure a 5am Christmas wakeup call from yours truly and videotape every minute of it.

Sappiness aside, my Dad is one of the funniest individuals you will ever meet in your entire life. He once decided that we were all cheating at a game of Uno, so he disappeared into his closet, came out in a hat and dark sunglasses so we couldn’t see his p-p-p-poker face (I couldn’t help myself) , only to say “Jesus Christ, I can’t see the damn cards.” He also did me the favor of shipping me a box for Valentine’s Day – and inside of it? A book titled “Why Men Won’t Commit”. Ah, nothing says high self esteem on Valentine’s Day like a book on why men won’t commit to me. I later explained that it was actually me who couldn’t commit, but that’s another book entirely. Perhaps my first book? I digress.

Although I couldn’t spend Father’s Day with my Dad, he is not far from my heart or from my mind. He never is, but he probably doesn’t know that. And now that he does, he will bring it up any time I get mad or frustrated with him and use my own sweet, genuine, loving blog post against me. Just remember Dad, you’re nice to me now, I’m nice to you when it comes to picking out the regular wheelchair vs. the motorized one. That’s still the deal, always has been ;)

Happy Fathers Day!

MK

(g)Rad school.

2010-06-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

First, I’d like to apologize for my absence for what seems like forever. Although, in all honesty, I’m not sorry…because it was for grad school. My life has been a whirlwind of 15 hour days and studying for the Praxis II which I’m 90% sure I bombed (although I was never good at math, so who knows) but now that I’ve gotten back into the swing of things, I have a little bit of breathing room which translates into blogging time. It should come as no surprise that the topic is, in fact, grad school.

When I thought about grad school, I looked forward to taking classes with a group of people who genuinely wanted to be there, and were interested in what they were learning. (As opposed to college where I spent more time tanning than I did attending 17th century literature…which leads me to believe it’s a shame there were no Praxis questions about the variety of tanning lotions and selection of the best tanning salon – all being put on your Phoenix card with the money your parents gave you to “buy books”, because I would have passed with flying colors.) While that is still an accurate description, what I didn’t expect were the dynamics of elementary/middle/high school to still exist.

I was panicking the day before classes started for a number of reasons. First, because I had broken my laptop three days before that. No, it didn’t crash. I actually broke it. I’m picturing everyone taking out their fancy, shiny laptops on the first day of classes, and out will come my spiral notebook. Second, the schedule still doesn’t say what room number the class is in. In a panic, I email the professor to find out. Easy enough. The first day of class rolls around, I find my class, and am relieved to see that everyone has spiral notebooks. I might even have the nicest spiral notebook. (Except the ONE girl who has her Macbook. Of course she does. From this point on, I am constantly distracted by the clicking of her fingers against the keyboard and will sporadically shoot her a sidelook in hopes she’ll tone it down or trade it in for the good old Meade 3-subject notebook.) People slowly trickle in and every single person stops as soon as they walk in, look briefly like a deer in headlights, and then after the professor asks “Content Reading?”…they relax and continue in. It feels the same way as when you are handed your new schedule in high school and you aren’t quite sure if you’re in the right class until the teacher hands out the syllabus and then you’re SURE you’re in the wrong class. So everyone is settled in, and my professor – bless her heart – takes it upon herself to ask, in front of the entire class “Megan, did you find the class okay?” Awesome. Thank you. I’m THAT girl. In fact, I’m always that girl. Is there a club for people like me, the ones that always end up being THAT girl in any given situation? Ah, there is. It’s called the Kappa Zeta chapter of my sorority. (I would have said it by name, but I probably would’ve gotten a call from headquarters asking me to remove it, along with any incriminating facebook photos).

Immediately, the professor makes it clear that she is big on groupwork. No big d. I mean, I hate group work – I hate getting up, moving around, having to listen to other peoples opinions (half kidding), and take accountability for work that is not all mine. But…I’ll do it if I have to. About the second class in, she asks us to find a partner and discuss a few questions. Immediately, you can see everyone panic slightly. This is the time where you desperately try to make eye contact with someone ensuring that when the professor stops talking, they’ll be your partner, thus NOT making you the person stuck at the end with no partner. And I should add that in my class, there is always one of those people, because we have an odd amount of students, so there are always pairs, and then one trio. So what this means is that every single time she assigns group work (read: every 20 minutes of my 2 hour class), it’s like a game of musical chairs. Within the first two sessions of group work, I was the one without a partner. I managed. Pouted a little. Cold sweated a little…a lot (naturally). Eventually, I was consistently finding partners, and one time even recognized the girl who would inevitably be the odd one out, avoided all eye contact so she didn’t think I could be her partner (as I was already making eye contact with my potential partner) and felt a little twinge of awkwardness for her. No matter if you’re picking teams for field day in elementary school, or picking groups for grad school projects…no one wants to be picked last. It’s a fact of life.

So while I have learned plenty about my potential future in teaching (and by plenty I mean my professor speaking about her experiences with middle school head lice ways to cope with your class before they start wearing deodorant)…I’ve also learned that we never really outgrow the anxiety that comes along with the first day of school.

Grab your spiral notebook, ditch your fancy laptop (or get a dirty look from me) and make eye contact with your future bff group partner...because a wise person once said (and by wise person I mean Will Ferrell dressed head to toe in NASCAR gear as Ricky Bobby)…if you’re not first, you’re last.

Unless you’re me…in which case you’re tripping over your own feet as you walk out of your first graduate school class.

Two words: that girl.

MK

signed, sealed, (un)delivered.

2010-05-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite websites, www.thefrisky.com, recently did an article on why so many men don't get responses from female online daters that they have reached out to. The list was certainly entertaining, but I felt that some of their reasons needed a bit more of an explanation and perhaps even a few more reasons needed to be added to the list all together. So, from my own personal experiences and from friends of mine...this is why we didn't email you back:

1. You fit NONE of what we have filled out in the "what I'm looking for" column. Sure, call me shallow. Afterall, I am. But I am here for a reason, and that is to find a person who has at least most of the things that I have listed in that column. I appreciate your effort and your courage, for that matter. It's...sweet. But how would you feel if you ordered a hamburger and they brought you the vegetarian special instead, just in case you'd like to "give it a chance?". Exactly. My profile specifically listed 6 feet as a minimum height requirement. The majority of the guys who messaged me were between 5'7 and 5'10. That isn't just a couple inches shorter than what I'm looking for. That is "I might not be able to wear heels if I go on a date with you". I didn't shuffle through the guys, pick the one that said "seeking a leggy brunette", did I? No. Because last time I checked, my legs are not in proportion to my awkwardly long torso and I have blonde hair. I don't take it personally and don't try to change their mind. And then I look for the profile that says "seeking average height blonde who overuses abbreviations and loves awkward situations"...and promptly message him. See how that works?

2. Your pictures are either potentially misleading or just plain creepy. We are women, therefore we are skilled in the "let me camoflauge my trouble areas" techniques. The skinny arm, the leg pop, or just turning sideways all together. We are on to you. If you are wearing a hat in every single picture, we are aware that you are balding or totally bald all together. If all of your pictures involve you posing shirtless in the mirror, we are totally aware that you probably still have a myspace as well as a wealth of insecurity issues. While we appreciate the picture of you in your Von Dutch hat, we realize that either you are past your prime and posting old pictures or that you have questionable, if not cringe inducing, taste in clothing. When you have obviously cropped your ex girlfriend out of every single picture that you have posted, we will assume that you're clingy, whereas when you have opted NOT to crop out the rando girls in your pictures, we will assume you meant to actually get a membership to adultfriendfinder.com.

3. You send a vague or even pointless e-mail. I can't tell you how many messages I got that didn't actually tell me anything or ask me anything. What am I supposed to do with that? One actually just said "Hey...". Wow. Good thing I'm paying for this site to provide me with guys who have worse pickups lines than at the bar, and doesn't even come with free drinks. If you are going to take the initiative to message a girl, I give you credit. But say SOMETHING, better yet, ask something....because that would actually require a response. I don't care if you have to google "how to talk to a girl" to come up with something. Ask your Mom. Unless you live with her...then just save yourself the time, use the money you're using towards your monthly membership and move out. Then we'll chat.

4. You get feisty. I know all guys think that girls like the not so nice guys. Guess what. We actually DO want a nice guy, however they seem to be lacking in the places we frequent, which is why we are here. You don't see many girls with a profile that says they're seeking a guy with anger management problems, do you? So when I don't respond to your first e-mail, perhaps you shouldn't send me another with "follow up" in the subject and a list of three snarky responses that you instruct me to choose from and send back. Yeah, because THAT is really going to win me over. Awww, now that you have essentially insulted me, I will DEFINITELY go out with you! Chances are, I just hadn't had a minute to respond yet or I just didn't want to. Don't take either personally, but instead perhaps take some time to evaluate if your dating failures have anything to do with user error.

5. You blatantly express that you're too busy for dating outside of the online world. I understand being career minded, but if you are THAT busy, then what business do you have getting into a relationship? Answer: none. Unless you are seeking a gold digger, I don't know many girls who are looking for a guy with no free time to speak of. In fact, that was a large part of my reason for turning to online dating, because the previous guys I had dated were so busy with work that they had absolutely no time to contribute to a relationship. Oh yeah. And it also gives out the message that you may or may not take pictures of yourself in the mirror and wouldn't mind paying an hourly rate at a hotel. I digress.

6. Finally, use your "headline" to your advantage. In other words, use it. Period. When I see a guy who has the headline "I couldn't think of anything to put in here", it doesn't really shout "YES, this is the witty, intelligent person I am looking for!" No. It says you're lazy, possibly (and most likely) boring, and can't think think on your feet....or even google a movie quote for that matter. When I see...ohhhh I dunno..."every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball"....I think 1) he likes funny movies 2) he knows how to google 3) this significantly increases my life goal of attending a ball. Win, win, and WIN.***

It's totally possible that none of these apply to you and you still aren't getting responses. In that case...I've got nothing. But chances are, you have a LOT of free time to figure that one out on your own.

....and no, putting a read receipt on your e-mail isn't helping your case either.

MK

***and yes. That was, in fact, a shameless and accurate reference to my life, (now) boyfriend, and actual thought process. The wheels are turning in this head of mine after all, folks.

charm (city) school: etiquette lessons in being a good girl friend to the new girlfriend.

2010-05-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

Every girl has been on at least one side of it, if not both: either being the best female friend of a guy who has just gotten a new girlfriend that you may or may not like….or being that girlfriend. Always having a lot of guy friends, I have certainly been on the female friend side and strongly believe I’ve dealt with the worst of the worst when it comes to being the girlfriend, but still have a handful of friends dealing with the nightmare girl that's a friend. Is there a way to make this transition go smoothly? I believe so. A few things to keep in mind, lady friend etiquette, if you will.

1. You have to recognize and respect the fact that some of your habits and behaviors are not appropriate now that your best friend has a girlfriend. Even if you’re at a party at 1am and hear the funniest story and immediately need to share it with your bestie…save it for the next day. There is nothing polite about a 3am phone call or text, especially when it comes from someone of the opposite sex. We all know what late night texts are reserved for. (Mom and Dad, what I mean by that is that late night texts are for emergencies only. Just like my first credit card...."emergencies only" may or may not be up for interpretation.)

2. Be nice. Seems simple, right? You’d be surprised how many girls have a hard time with this one. It is never easy to be the outsider, the one new to the group. What makes it even harder is when you’re dealing with a particularly exclusive group of people who don’t exactly go out of their way to be inviting. You already have the in, so put it to good use. Go out of your way to make the new girlfriend feel more comfortable, I promise, it won’t kill you. Going out of your way to be UNfriendly only makes you look bad…and a bit pathetic. Plus it will only strain your friendship and cause unnecessary friction.

3. Accept the fact that you are going to see/hear less of your friend, at least for a little while. Don’t throw a temper tantrum about it. Sure you could spend your time responding to email chains between you and your friends with snarky, not-actually-funny-at-all comments, commenting on how whipped so-and-so is, or you could put on your big girl panties and be happy for him/them. And perhaps find a hobby? Just a thought. I hear those ships in a bottle are neat.

4. Don’t go out of your way to prove your dominance in his life. You are totally aware that leaving facebook post after post of inside jokes between you two is an attempt to make your “I knew him before you did” status clear, with a slight hint of “if he had to pick between the two of us, he’d pick me.” (And as an aside, don’t be so sure of that. Ever heard the phrase “love conquers all?” Yeah. Let’s just say you might be the rock, and she may or may not be the paper.) Everyone else is ALSO aware of why you are doing it. I’ve been guilty of this one on multiple occasions, but once the tables were turned, I quickly saw that this is not so fun to deal with or even to have to look at…and also realized how dumb I looked. Be confident in your friendship. If it really is that strong, then you shouldn’t be worried, regardless of who comes in and out of his life.

5. Suck it up and get over it. It doesn’t really matter whether you like her or not, what matters is that your best friend is happy. Because if you two are that close, his happiness should mean your happiness. If she really is that miserable, he’ll figure it out. And if he doesn’t, then maybe she isn’t so miserable after all. Or maybe he just likes miserable girls. The possibilities are endless.

Bottom line, you have to respect both your best friend and his girlfriend, whether you like it or not. Put yourself in her position for a second before you post that next facebook message. I have a lot of guy friends, most of them with girlfriends. I get it. I am all for plutonic relationships between sexes. I recognize that just because you are friends with a guy does not mean you are secretly trying to date him, as I have been accused of this one as well when in fact, I was nowhere NEAR trying to date him…the thought being rather laughable actually.

As a girlfriend, you must also take on some responsibility – do not be unnecessarily jealous, don’t go out of your way to detach your boyfriend from his lady friend, but always trust your gut. I’d love to say that all girls have no ulterior motives…but I can’t. We are confusing creatures. We leave the physical fights to the men, and take on the more manipulative and less obvious defense mechanisms. In short, we fight dirty. More often than not, we create fights that don’t even need to happen in the first place (yes, that will be the one and only time I admit that…somewhere my exes are printing this out for proof that I actually said it). So don’t make this one a fight, regardless of what side of the spectrum you’re on.

I’m fortunate to have what I think will be the worst of these situations behind me and recently have been surprised and beyond relieved to meet friends – both male and female – who ARE welcoming, nice, and go out of their way to make me feel like I’m not an outsider coming in.

Because let’s be honest….high school was fun and all, but there is a time and place for mean girls. And that is on a rainy Saturday afternoon, possibly when feeling the effects of a late evening out the night before, in my DVD player, enjoying Lindsay Lohan at her finest….if there even is such a thing.

MK

In Memory of Yeardley Love

2010-05-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

I went back and forth as to whether or not to write about this, but felt like I couldn't go any longer without expressing my deepest sorrow and condolences for the entire Love family. I didn't know Yeardley Love and vaguely knew her sister, Lexie, through other friends and due to Elon being such a small school. I'm not sure if it is the young age at which Yeardley's life was taken that makes it hit so close to home, or if it is that it seems more real because I've shared a hallway, a class, a graduation ceremony with someone who is closely and deeply affected by the situation. Either way, it is an absolutely heartbreaking story for anyone to hear and I cannot even begin to imagine what the Love family and close friends are going through. It is a strange feeling to have, such a strong reaction to someone's death, having never met her, but it is an undeniably nauseous feeling, a knot in my stomach of sadness, and my fists clenched in anger. Yeardley Love could be anyone in my life or in your life. A friend, a sister, a mother, a significant other, anyone who you end a conversation with casually or kiss goodbye knowing they'll return home later in the day. And so many people probably did just that, having no idea they'd never have another chance to do so. It is instances like this that put us back into perspective, make us realize how petty our problems often are in comparison to the bigger picture. It is instances like this that make us realize we don't have control over everything and that we can't plan for anything. And it is instances like this that we must use as a force to push us to do the things we've always wanted to, tell the people around us how much we love them, and to not waste any time being angry or resentful towards others.

In Baltimore, you can't turn on the news, look at the newspaper, without seeing an update of the story, and Yeardley's strikingly beautiful lacrosse picture - her huge, blue eyes looking back. It is haunting, in a sense – a constant reminder of the senseless brutality inflicted on a young woman who had hardly even begun her journey, not yet graduated, not given a chance to take a step outside the University walls and into the rest of her life. It is hard to make any sense of something like this, but if we take nothing away from it, we are denying ourselves the ability to recognize how beautiful life is, even in the midst of our mourning.

I hope the Love family and friends can find the strength and courage to cope with such a devastating loss, while always remembering and celebrating the life of their sister, daughter and friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I am truly sorry for your loss.

sometimes if you want it done right, you just have to do it yourself.

2010-05-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

Luck is believing you're lucky.
Tennessee Williams

So apparently it doesn’t take an entire year for your life to completely change (for the better). From January to May, I’ve had some pretty big and fantastic changes in my life, two of them the result of taking things into my own hands instead of waiting for them to happen and the last, well, I have nothing to do with the last.

1. I’m going to grad school. I’ve been talking about going back to school since the day I graduated from Elon. I realize quite late in the game (read: the last 2 months of senior year) that I’d like to go into teaching, fell into a recruiting job, and have been in the industry ever since. While it has kept me busy, I’ve always felt like I needed to be in a more intellectually challenging environment. My reason for not going back to school was always the same – I just couldn’t afford it. I hadn’t exactly looked up the price tag, nor had I looked into financial aid, but wrote it off as something maybe I’d look into down the road. I also didn’t even want to think about the task of taking the GREs, as I’ve proven to be a poor standardized test taker in the past. I was talking to a friend of mine and his response to my desire was simple – “you should do it.” And for whatever reason, it was the last push I needed. So I did. I paid the overpriced application fees, begged one of my old advisors for a last minute recommendation, and had friends help me edit and revise my essay over and over again. I submitted my financial aid request, received my acceptance letter, and before I knew it, was piecing together my schedule for the next three years. So what did I learn? Stop putting off things that you truly want and start doing. Once you get your feet wet, you may find it isn’t as daunting as you thought. And even if it is, the fact that you’re on your way seems like enough to keep you going. And yes, for Christmas feel free to give me a hand crafted Noah’s Ark necklace or perhaps a tacky sweater for my future teaching career.

2. A few months ago (three to be exact), I blogged about my dating failures in Baltimore and my attempt at online dating to change it up a little and meet new people. And what do you know, it worked. And while I would be happy to sit here and talk solely about myself, I can’t say that I’m the only one. A close friend of mine had the same luck after a short stint on Match.com and is now in a much deserved great relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I had my awkward moments (I know, I know, who knew?!?). I stood outside Stackhouse for a solid 20 minutes talking on the phone to a friend who was lost, thinking the entire time I had been stood up, and wondering if perhaps I should have had oneee more glass of wine before making my way there. Turns out I had not been stood up, my date was polite enough not to interrupt my phone conversation, and I successfully made myself THAT girl who talks on her cell phone in public. We sat through a completely painless first date, like two people who were catching up after not having seen each other for awhile. I can say it was the first time in my life I was catching up with someone I had never met. But no worries, I won’t bore you with sappy details or try and sell you a Match.com account, instead I’ll simply tell you that I force-hugged my date goodbye. Yes. He was walking me to my car, making absolutely no sign that he was about to give (or receive) a hug, and there I went. It’s probably a good thing that I’m a foot shorter and couldn’t see his face during the said forced-hug because I can only imagine what MY face would have looked like and I’m honestly starting to sweat just thinking about it. Obviously my abrasive and awkward dating abilities worked because three months later, still going strong! So I got bored during the Baltimore snowstorm, signed up for a month of Match.com for no other reason then to branch out and meet new people, and I did exactly that. I guess getting my closet stepstool stolen from my parking spot (thus also having my parking spot stolen) was worth it, since it prevented me from moving my car unless absolutely necessary from that point on, thus my boredom and match.com membership. What did I learn? Great things happen when you least expect them but need them the most, as long as you’re willing to take a risk here and there (even if it means hugging a semi-total stranger, whether they like it or not. For the record…he liked it.)

3. My 3rd nephew was born. (Although, Derek, I love him to death…having a nephew that is only a year younger than me doesn’t really count, it’s really more of a cousin but that’s neither here nor there.) I couldn’t be happier to be an Aunt again, or for my brother and sister-in-law who now have not one, but two absolutely adorable sons. And if my brother actually read my blog (Safe to say he doesn’t, but in the event that he does, I’m not sorry for posting this picture because you forgot my birthday…okay, I’m really going to let that one go Sean, I promise) he might not have wanted me to pick this picture specifically, but I couldn’t help myself. Declan, Chase, and Sean (and Tracey – although not pictured - pretty sure she played a pretty large part in all of this). All of whom I’m forever indebted to for taking the pressure off of me, yet again, from Mom and Dad to have more grandchildren. Oh yes, and for providing me with two of the cutest nephews in the ENTIRE world. I swear, once I pay off my credit cards…I’ll spoil you with ton of presents and toys, all paid for in cash…naturally. What have I learned? Just when you get used to being the baby of the family…someone outdoes you. Twice.

People always say bad things come in threes, but why not good? Probably because we have the tendency to notice the bad things first. The early twenties were tumultuous for almost everyone around me, ups and downs in every area from family, to relationships, work, and school. It seems like I’m surrounded by friends that are turning or have turned that corner, and are starting to see everything come together. That might be the best thing of all that this year has brought me so far – the chance to see some of my best friends truly happy.

I can’t even imagine what the rest of 2010 will bring for myself and those around me.

(Then again, if I’m being honest…I’m hoping my own Match.com commercial and a giant pay raise, but I’m not overly picky.)

MK

word to (my) mother.

2010-05-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

When I think of sunshine, I think of my Mom because that is exactly what she is to so many people, myself included. If you have the privilege of knowing her, you know that she is one of the most warm, giving people that you’ll ever meet. If you don’t know her…you will by the end of this. I’m not sure at what point you get these Mom-abilities, but Kath has had them as long as I can remember. As I stated in a previous post, I swear that my Mom can toast and butter a bagel and it tastes ten times better than when I do it. It’s some sort of super-Mom-power. She was there to coax me into preschool as I clung tightly to and/or behind her leg, she sat proudly in the audience of my high school and college graduation, and saw me through 6 of my 8 moves since then. Only now, instead of clinging to her leg, she can rest her head on my shoulder when I hug her because apparently in the last 25 years, I’ve grown a little.

The thing about Moms, is that they have so many chances to say “I told you so”. And my Mom, specifically, has had PLENTY. But more often than not, they don’t say it. She has always guided me in the right direction but let me lead myself, teaching me to learn from my mistakes and to dust myself off after the occasional stumble, whether in life or on actual pavement. Just like their food always tastes better, there is something about Moms’ advice. Your friends can tell you the same exact thing 100 times, but as soon as it comes out of your Mom’s mouth, it seems more sound and encouraging. In the first few rough months of my transition into Baltimore, I called my Mom every morning. And every morning, I cried my eyes out on the way to work. But every morning, she picked up the phone, and reassured me just like she had the day before and she would the day after, that it would be okay. And sure enough, it eventually was.

There is a point in time for girls when your Mom often becomes your best friend. I’m not exactly sure of that moment, and I realize it is not the case for all mother-daughter pairs, but it is certainly the case for mine. She can keep any secret like a vault, she is happy when I’m happy, and she is one heck of a shopping partner. Just a few months ago, we went shopping to celebrate her recent amazing (and enviable) weight loss and it wasn’t long before we found ourselves laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our cheeks, holding our sides, simply because we had misjudged the sizing, which left her with no other choice than to jump up and down until the jeans were on, and then naturally, I taught her my lunges that I use to stretch out my jeans when I “just got them out of the dryer” which is also known as “what I tell myself when I’ve had Chipotle too many times in the last month”. She makes me laugh until I cry, and she makes me smile amidst the saddest of tears.

So while my Mom has always been my rock, she has also proved herself to be one of the strongest women that I have the opportunity of knowing. She is the person everyone comes to when they need a pick me up, but she will rarely go to others when she needs one herself. She won’t ever let you see her sweat and she gets through most things with a smile, and if not a smile, then a glass of wine. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. She is the Mom that my friends all want to be friends with, and most of them are. She uses phrases like “you go girl” and I love her for it. She mails me magazine clippings that make her think of me, and my horoscope (but only when it’s a good one.) She can make a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner or an Easter brunch that Martha Stewart would envy. She snorts when she laughs (sorry Mom, secrets out). She still blames my “crooked” (they’re not crooked) teeth on me not wearing my retainer and suggests that I get adult braces (really, Mom?). One of her biggest fans, who is Dana’s grandmother, will tell you until she’s blue in the face that “Kathy is my very best friend.” You may need to know the dynamic between Dana’s mom & grandmother, but upon explaining to us that Dana’s Mom had once given her pizza for breakfast…she followed up with “Kathy would NEVER do that. She would have made me breakfast.” And it’s true. Kath Deasy would have whipped up a 5 course meal as if it was no big deal. And to top it off, she’d probably say “Oh, its no problem, I was going to make pancakes, waffles, omelettes, bacon, toast, bagels, and pastries anyway!” (Sorry Aunt D, I’d take the pizza for breakfast any day!)

I have one picture of my Mom that has always been my favorite and I’ve had it with me since college. She is standing in the snow, with long blonde hair (yes, blonde!), and what I believe is a peacoat. And she is beautiful. I have always thought that she is the most beautiful person, inside and out, that I have ever known. She will argue with me, inevitably, but it’s true. And even though I’m adopted, people have always said we look alike, and I can’t help but see a lot of myself in that picture of her then, and in her mannerisms now. Which makes me one very fortunate girl.

In short, my Mom is my own guardian angel. I was blessed to have been adopted by someone so wonderful (yes Dad, your tribute is coming for Father’s Day) and I can only hope to be as good of a mother, caregiver, wife, and all around person someday.

Thanks for everything, Mom : )

MK

5 wonders of my world.

2010-04-21T15:09:00.000-07:00

I have come to the realization that there are just some things I do not understand….and may never understand. If you have any sort of explanation for the following behaviors, feel free to enlighten me.

People in retail or customer service who are rude. I worked in retail for the majority of college, and have been in the service industry as a recruiter since I graduated. It is my job to help people and I understand that. It appears, however, other individuals who are in the same industry in some form or another, were not aware of what exactly their job entailed. When I call Geico, they are lovely. They are helpful, polite, and even offered words of comfort and understanding when I broke into tears on the phone when my car insurance skyrocketed. (Katie from Geico, bless your heart. Yeah…that happened.) If only everyone was so kind. If I walk into a store, politely ask a sales representative for a dressing room or to get something down for me, I shouldn’t feel like I’m inconveniencing them. More often than not, I appear to be doing exactly that. You are getting paid to help me. That is your JOB. That is not me being condescending; it’s me saying if you are not helping me, what exactly are you getting paid for? It’s not like I’m enslaving you here, you applied for this job, you got it, and now you have to do it. You don’t like your job? Welcome to grown up life. And I don’t really care if you’re having a bad day. Slap on a smile for the 8 hours or however many hours your shift is and pretend that you would love nothing more to get down a different size for me and then open a dressing room. If you REALLY feel like doing your job, ask me if I want to open up an account, because chances are (as history has proven) I will, and you’ll get commission, therefore just by being nice, everyone wins.
I work in a building with six floors, which brings me to 2 things I don’t understand. First, if you work on the second floor, why on earth are you taking the elevator? It takes longer to wait for the elevator (and risk getting stuck in it, if you work in my building) than it would just to walk up the stairs. Nevermind that in our building they have built separate stairs that only go to the 2nd floor for these people. So it never fails, I get in and press “5” and someone else gets in, typically someone that could use the walk if we’re being honest here, and presses “2”. And every time, I exhale loudly in annoyance. Because I’m that mature. Secondly, while I enjoy my job, by no means do I rush into work every day. In fact, I don’t know anyone who does for the simple fact that they can’t wait to get there. So, please explain to me why you press the “close doors” button on the elevator when you know there are three people not far behind you all going for the same elevator. Are you really in that big of a rush to get to work? Or are you just that miserable of a person that you can’t hold the elevator for like 5 seconds longer? And how annoyed are you when you’re that person who is like awkwardly sweating as you try to briskly walk to the elevator before it closes without going into a full speed run? Karma, people, karma.
The other day I was pulling into a parking lot in Canton – it was a huge debacle, there were cars lined up waiting for all the same parking spots. I spot one and see a car pass it, so I pull in, only to realize he had actually just pulled forward so that he could back in. I immediately felt guilty slash worried that he was going to start screaming at me and or possibly shoot me (haven’t you seen the Wire?!?), but then realized that when 90 other cars are waiting to pull in to the same parking lot, backing into a spot is actually just plain inconsiderate. And in my opinion, POINTLESS. So you are going to spend the five extra minutes going in, so that you can pull out of your spot faster? Doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose of cutting down on the time issue? And aren’t you really just making it harder for yourself? Because I don’t know anyone who would say backing into a spot is easy as or easier than just pulling in. That is like me parallel parking just for fun. No dice.
This morning at Starbucks, the woman in front of me talked on her cell phone the entire time she stood in line, while she ordered and simultaneously knocked over half of a CD display which she was too distracted to notice, and even gave the cashier an attitude when she had to ask her order twice, probably in order to decipher it from the rest of the conversation she was having with the other person. It is 7:45am. What is so pressing that you not only need to be on the phone at that hour, but that you can’t even call the person back 5 minutes later after you’ve gotten your coffee? Answer: Nothing. I know, because I witnessed the entire conversation, and if the other side of the convo was going anything like the half that I was listening to, it definitely could have waited the five minutes. While it is annoying to have to be around people with their cell phones to their ears, there are only two things that are worse. One, mistaking someone talking into their Bluetooth as someone talking to you. Bathrooms are the worst for this. Not only do I have to consider the fact that you are holding a conversation with someone while you are legit on the toilet, but I have to consider the fact that it MIGHT be me, but I wouldn’t know, because I can’t actually SEE your Bluetooth. On the opposite end of the spectrum is speaker phone. In the privacy of your own house or room? Sure, go for it. But in public? Tacky.
I have expressed my annoyance before towards people who post over the top status’ about their relationships, weddings, significant others, babies, etc etc. What I have yet to address are people who use Facebook as a political forum or a place to post status’ clearly aimed at one person. I am all for people being educated and taking a political stance. Bravo. However, whether you are conservative or liberal, posting snarky political comments just reaffirms one thing: you are abrasive. If you care THAT much about a party, an individual, an issue, then why not put your time and effort into doing something of value to help? Join a club, volunteer, write a letter to your congressman, I don’t care if you bake a cake and deliver it to Sarah Palin herself, just do something other than posting something that you know will probably offend or annoy half the people that you’re friends with on Facebook in the first place. This isn’t as much of as issue anymore since you can now hide people from your newsfeed, but the fact that they actually had to create that function leads me to believe I’m not the only one with this issue. Second, vaguebooking. Do you really think posting Mary J. Blige lyrics about cheating men is an effective way to make yourself look like a strong, independent woman? I’ll give you a hint. The answer is…no. Chances are everyone already knows who or what you’re talking about. And in the off chance that they don’t know, you clearly want them to ask. So why not skip the passive aggressive vaguebooking and just write “my boyfriend cheated on me and I’m pissed” or “I’m mad at my friend Tina for stealing my boyfriend that I’m pissed at for cheating on me”. Plus this way you won’t have to sit there wondering if your now ex-boyfriend realizes that your status is about him (chances are…he’s a guy, therefore he doesn’t…sorry boys)….because there is no question if is full name is in there, middle name included, possibly even confirmation name if applicable.

So there you have it, friends, my five largest questions of life. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there, possibly even ones coming across my blog, who would question a lot of the things I do, say or write. If that is you, I encourage you to approach me because I’d be happy to explain why I overuse parentheses, write out the word “slash” instead of using the actual symbol, or take certain phrases and drive them into the ground. Perhaps you wonder why I randomly have pictures posted on my wall of usually fat and wrinkly animals, why I YouTube montages of animals falling asleep or people falling…on the ground. Why I feel the need to share my personal stories, pieces of advice, unfortunate mishaps, and the occasional good magazine article in this blog? Because I can, that’s why. (And all along, I thought I’d have to be a Mom explaining to my teenage daughter why she is grounded before I could say that and mean it.)

MK

secret single behaviors.

2010-04-19T19:06:00.000-07:00

In the first SATC movie, Miranda mentions her secret single behavior, standing at the kitchen counter, eating triscuits (or something to that effect) and reading trashy magazines, while Charlotte’s is that she stares into one of those magnified mirrors, inspecting her pores. I got to thinking about it, and I’m pretty sure everyone has a few habits that we do in the private of our own home or room, habits that we are often hesitant to show roommates or significant others that we live with. While mine are not exactly secret, they are entertaining nonetheless…

Every morning I get up at 6:15, turn on the TV and watch Full House while I’m getting ready. Not only have I already seen the majority of the episodes (nothing says “I’m cool”, like recognizing the episode when DJ passes out at the gym because she’s trying to prep for swimsuit season and by that I mean Kathy Santoni’s pool party. Just saying.) While I have a few friends who will admit that their early morning show of choice is more along the lines of Saved by the Bell, I’m sticking by my choice. And yes, I realize some people watch grown up shows like….the news, but to be honest…Full House is a whole lot happier than anything the news is going to tell me.

My comfort food has always been peanut butter, specifically Jif Reduced Fat Creamy, which I will only eat with a fork. (Some say OCD, I say…it’s my peanut butter and I’ll eat it however I want to). In the last two years, I’ve taken my comfort food obsession to a new, and slightly weirder level. I take my jar of PB, put grape jelly in a bowl, and I dip my forkfuls of PB into the jelly and eat it. Sure, I could just eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but – for me – this is so. much. better. I even got caught with this one, as my significant other walked in as I dipped my peanut butter into a bowl of deliciousness, I sat there on the couch, feeling as though I needed to immediately justify my behavior. I didn’t justify it. We didn’t talk about it.

Lastly (although I’m sure I have a ton of other strange behaviors), and my old roommates can attest to this, I will lay in bed every Saturday and possibly Sunday too, drink my coffee, and watch 90210. What is it with my affinity for cheesy, 90’s TV shows? I have no idea. But nothing makes me happier. I don’t rush out of bed, but I don’t stay in bed forever. Just a little time of relaxation with Donna Martin and friends. Is that a crime?

So whether you decide to reveal your secret behaviors or not, we all have them. And as far as I’m concerned, if your secret behaviors involve enjoying the simplest pleasures in life, by all means…grab the peanut butter and jelly.

MK

there's no place like home.

2010-04-15T16:03:00.000-07:00

As I was flipping through my planner today, I realized it’s been exactly a year that I’ve been living back in Baltimore. I am someone who had a habit of being overly focused about what the future held for me and so I took the time now to reflect on where I have been. This time last year I was up at 5am, my movers had showed up an hour early and I watched them load my life in boxes into their moving truck. I was driving to Baltimore, Love Save the Empty playing on repeat in my car (RIP Ookie Motel), surprised at the lack of anxiousness I had compared to my previous moves. It didn’t hit me right away that I had moved back. Even as I sat on the packed boxes in my new room on Linwood, staring at a friend with an expression that said “I don’t know where to start” and “I can’t believe I’m back” simultaneously. Last April, I didn’t have my feet firmly planted any where, instead I left footprints across Northern Virginia, at friends houses (or couches) in Maryland, and sprinkled across the highways that joined the two states. There are days when I miss my old apartment, living in Shirlington, and even the fish tank that I – at one point – loathed. But most of the time, it seems as though I never left Maryland. I forget that I didn’t have my friends a few blocks away, that I couldn’t give directions around VA to save my life, in fact there were days I couldn’t even find my way back to my own apartment. When I arrived in April, I didn’t call any place home. I had been gone from New Jersey too long, I hadn’t stayed in Virginia long enough, and I’d had a love-hate relationship with Maryland since I moved here in 2006. But it hit me one day, while visiting my parents, when I said I had to head home. It had been a long time since I had used that term for wherever I was residing at the time. When I moved back, I didn’t want to sign a year lease, considering my track record of having to break or sublet almost every lease I’ve ever had. 6 months came and went….and I stayed. As someone who hasn’t spent more than a year in one place, this speaks volumes.

I can give directions now, and I rarely find myself lost in the city. My parallel parking abilities are enviable, give or take a few parking jobs on the curb. The only belongings that are in boxes are my winter clothes. I can name my favorite local bars and restaurants. I know what spring, summer, fall and winter feel like in Baltimore. I own an Orioles hat. I annually anticipate the first day that it’s warm enough to sit on a rooftop deck. I don’t frequent the inner harbor often, but when I do, I can handpick the tourists from the locals. I know that I can sit outside of Blue Hill and see the Natty Boh tower winking. I pass places and recall specific memories – a transformers dance in an empty parking spot on Streeper Street, JSimps pickup lines at Ropewalk, a martini too many at Cosmos followed by a rainy run home, late night on Bouldin (until I had moved to Baltimore I had never heard the term “late night” being used as a noun, whereas now I find it to be a regular occurrence in my vocab, somewhere my English professors are cringing), snow angels on the kitchen floor of the house on Cooksie, dance parties on Curley, windy walks along the seawall (which isn't allowed, apparently), the adventures of getting a cab outside of Sip-n-Bite on Halloween night at 3am, traipsing into Dunkin Donuts on Boston Street in the infamous chili-pepper pants of Scott Street, 4th of July cookouts on Eaton, first impressions at Stackhouse. It suddenly seems that every corner I turn, every restaurant, bar, street, or landmark I see is attached with a memory. I am surrounded by the memories that make Baltimore my home.

I arrived back in Maryland a little broken, not entirely convinced that I deserved happiness, but with a front that wouldn’t let anyone believe I was anything but confident. I had made changes that I knew everyone around me questioned – they thought maybe I could have worked it out, maybe I didn’t give it enough of a chance – or a chance at all, and maybe I was just running away.

It may have taken this reflection, a year later, for me to realize it – but it turns out, I didn’t run away, but instead I ran home.

Thank you to every single person who made my move back to Baltimore one of my best decisions yet. I think, this time, I might just stay awhile.

MK

okay maybe she's good for a few things. (oprah, continued.)

2010-04-05T18:08:00.000-07:00

You must understand that it pains me to blog about Oprah twice in a year, let alone in one day. But again, as I flipped through her magazine (reminder, AGAIN, not my issue, I do not own it, nor did I pay money for it) I came across a list of 10s, in celebration for the 10th anniversary.

There were two that I felt were particularly touching, if nothing more, reminders to do things in life that we often bypass...I know it's lengthy...but worth the read....

10 Ways to Stay Spiritually Connected - by Marianne Williamson

Whether you practice a traditional religion or relate to a more universal spirituality, these steps will help you tap into a sense of limited peace:

Recognize your Creator: Think on this: There is a supreme power in the universe that is bigger and more powerful than your small mortal self. This step makes you feel humble.
Seek opportunities to put more love into the world. Strive to be a vessel of love, to fill the world with more compassion and kindness. This step makes you loving and lovable.
Set aside time each day to spend in spiritual reflection and contemplation. Dwell in the presence of the divine: Your path may be to pray, meditate, read spiritual material, take a long walk through nature -- or all of the above -- but an optimum practice includes both morning and evening sessions of at least 20 minutes each. This step makes you strong.
Become more accepting. With every interaction, surrender any tendency to judge another person. Pray for a more accepting heart. This step makes you gracious.
Forgive anyone you have not forgiven. Whenever you withhold forgiveness, you keep yourself bound to your own feelings of guilt. This step makes you kind.
Recognize your mistakes. Admit where you yourself have been wrong, and be willing to be corrected. This step makes you responsible.
Try to see the good in others. When you're tempted to judge someone, make an effort to see their goodness. Your willingness to look for the best in people will subconsciously bring it forth. This step makes you positive.
Take stock of your thoughts and behavior. Each night ask yourself, when were you negative when you could have been positive? When did you withhold love when you might have given it? When did you play a neurotic game instead of behaving in a powerful way? Use this process to self-correct. This step makes you grow.
Bless the world. Pray not just that your own life will be blessed, but that blessings be poured on everyone. This step makes you beautiful.
Use each interaction to be the best, most powerful version of yourself. Try to rise to the occasion. Be the most wonderful expression of you that you're capable of. This step makes you a conduit of God's love.

10 Hard-Won Pieces of Advice - by Lisa Kogan

People have vast reserviors of tenacity and resilience. All those days and nights that I was so sure I couldn't get through have come and gone. I'm still here and so, my friend, are you! It turns out we can only eat chicken potpie in our underwear and watch an endless loop of Law and Order reruns for about a week before a better angel urges us to say goodbye to Sam Waterston, shave our legs and get back out there.
Find yourself a friend, a shrink, a stranger at a bus shelter. It doesn't matter who, as long as it's a person who doesn't have an agenda. We all need that one someone in our lives who doesn't hear what we have to say filtered through the prism of his or her own needs.
Do something - anything - for somebody else. I promise it'll help you feel a little bit better.
Do something - anything - for yourself. I promise, that helps, too.
If you're going to rent a movie, shoot for something frothy. A screwball comedy that revolves around a plucky, maribou-wearing, Champagne-sipping heroine who ends up with Cary Grant will do a whole lot more for your sense of well being than Lars von Trier ever could.
Step away from the lasagna, ma'am. It is your God-given right to splurge from time to time (see aforementioned potpie), but if you've lost your health insurance, your home, your one true love, you do not want to also lose the ability to tuck in your shirt.
Never underestimate the power of a perfect comback. Sometimes words aren't even necessary. I've spent years perfect a simple smile that says, "Please know that I plan to systematically destroy you when you least expect it."
Let's face it, if you don't have anything in your life worth crying over, you probably don't have much of a life. So crying is definitely allowed, but (and lord knows, this is easier said than done) see if you can't keep the whining to a minimum.
Dwell in possibility. ONly the limits of your own imagination (and a restraining order) can keep you from deciding that Benicio Del Toro is your destiny.
Forget about what you can't do. The other day I overheard a snippit of conversation my 6-year-old was having with her pal. "Wait", she asked, "what are my superpowers supposed to be again?" We all have superpowers (I myself happen to look very nice in navy), and we all forget them from time to time. Meet an old friend for lunch and have her make you a good, long list of yours.

Oprah sort of redeems herself, but not really. just for today.

2010-04-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

I have never been a fan of Oprah. In fact, I pretty much loathe her, for a number of reasons...so many reasons, in fact, that I could write an entire post about it, but I won't. Because today, she happens to be my new bff. I was flipping through her magazine (on the coffee table of a friend, no I do not own it) and it was the 10th anniversary issue. I come across a few pages with things less than 10 bucks...a cute spring skirt, a bag, a pearl ring...? I figured it must be fake with a 9.95 pricetag, but I look at the fine print and its priced at $135 bucks....unless, you enter Oprah's code. I assume this is some sort of hoax or there is a catch...(installments of 9.95 perhaps?). I go to the website, find the ring, enter the code, and my total now reads 135-125+8.95 for shipping. There was no catch and this gorgeous ring (see right...gorgeous to me, I realize it may not be everyone's taste, but I love!) will be delivered any day for a whopping 18.95. Sorry to say, but I went back and checked tonight and its sold out (I caught it in time I guess, I just ordered it 2 hours ago!). But all of the jewelry on the website is amazing...http://www.elyriasterling.com/. I looked everyone online for the article with the rest of the offers with the codes, but couldn't find it, so if you're interested, grab the latest issue of O Magazine! (The one and only time I will support it, don't get used to it...).

Happy Shopping!!

MK

prince(ss) of tides.

2010-04-05T17:29:00.000-07:00

We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came.

John F. Kennedy

For as long as I can remember, I was never a beach person. I chose lakes over the ocean, cringed at the thought of getting sandy, and tended to only wade in the water up to my ankles – perhaps my knees if I was feeling particularly courageous. But recently, the tide has shifted (pun totally intended). As I headed to the beach in North Carolina, eager to get there, overcome with anticipation, I realized I had become a beach person. And as I later sat on the sand, I decided that, at some point, I will live near the ocean. Sort of a random realization, right? As random as it was, it was more clear to me than anything else.

I will live by the sea.

Even during the most crowded, peak seasons, there is something refreshingly sleepy about a beach town. While the no shirt, no shoes, no service rule still applies, it’s not uncommon to walk from point A to point B barefoot. The last time I walked barefoot in the city, I was dressed as Lady Gaga at 3am on Halloween night, and even then I was wearing hot pink tights so it doesn’t fully count. Point being, kicking off your shoes for a bit suddenly becomes a luxury when you live in the city. With that town sleepiness, comes a loss of your sense of time. The days seem to run together, the hours you spend in the sun tend to go uncounted – a watch not worn, a cell phone packed away in a bag. We sit in our chairs, lay on our towels, letting the sand fall through our fingers, a self made hourglass of sorts – grains falling freely, keeping no time.

And then there’s the ocean. The reminder that this world is so much bigger than us, that we aren’t in control of much of anything. My fear of the water comes from the awareness that there is more out there than I will ever know. And as a girl who prides herself on conquering fears and forcing herself outside of her comfort zone, there is just still something overwhelming about the ocean. I can’t bring myself to push past my fears, but I can’t help but stay hypnotized by the waves as they crash, the tide rolling in and out.

There is that moment as you cross the bridge, no matter what beach you’re arriving at, when the salty air hits you as if you just broke through some invisible barrier. I take long, deep breaths in and out, as if I needed this moment, those breaths to survive. I believe that after so many months in the city, on the pavement, in the traffic, I just might need this to survive. The break, the realization that you can leave things undone and they’ll still be there for you when you return.

But undoubtedly, the best feeling is as the sun goes down and you return home, unsure of just how sunburnt you might be. The shower that washes the sand from your hairline, reveals your tan lines, lets the layers of suntan lotion run down the drain. You’re tired from a day of not doing much at all, but somehow it’s one of the best kinds of tired to be.

As I unpacked my suitcase from North Carolina yesterday, I unrolled the cuff on my capris and sand sprinkled out and onto the floor. A year or two ago, this would have made me cringe. But not today. I simply took it as a reminder of the day, whether it is next year or in twenty years, when I’ll walk barefoot to the beach, taking breaths of salty air with each step as I go.

reading rainbow.

2010-03-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

While the warm weather certainly gets us all outside a bit more, it also gives us the chance to find a spot in the park, on the beach (for those of you lucky ones that are close enough!), or on your deck to do a little reading in the sun (or in the case of today…gives us a chance to catch up on some reading as it POURS!). As an avid reader, I recognize that while books aren’t necessarily expensive, when you read them cover to cover in just a few days, they really add up! Since I refuse to give up one of my favorite hobbies, I’ve found a few ways to cut the cost of constantly buying books.

While your library card may still have your 4th grade signature on it, there is no better time to dig it up (or just get a new one) and put it to good use. Most of the local Baltimore libraries have a universal card that gives you access to any of the public libraries without having to worry about what membership you have where. If you are one of those people who insist on underlining, doggy-earring, and whatever other way of marking your favorite sections, this may not be the best option, but any English nerd will tell you, nothing beats the smell of an old book! If you can’t fit a library visit into your schedule, try checking out the book version of Netflix. There are a few of these, but one of the more popular seems to be Bookswim (www.bookswim.com). It works the same way -- you form a queue of the books you’d like to read and as you read them and send them back, you get news ones at your doorstep!

For those of you in Baltimore, try checking out The Baltimore Book Thing, Inc. (http://bookthing.org). You can go and take whatever books you want. No, seriously. They take donations from anyone – individuals, businesses – and make them available for free to anyone. This may involve a little more digging (they do have volunteers to help guide you in the right direction), so if you are looking for a specific book, you may just want to try amazon or abebooks.com. If you have a ton of books that you have already read and no longer want, I would really encourage you to donate them to an organization like this (or simply google “donate books” and take your pick!) A few facts from the Baltimore Book Thing, Inc website:

* Are the books really free? Yup.
* Really? Yes.
* Absolutely free? Yes.
* What's the catch? All the books you take have to be stamped, "Not for Resale." That's it.
* What's the suggested donation? A smile.
* Is there a limit to how many books I can take? You can only take 150,000 per day per person.
* When are you open? 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays. There is a drop-off bin by the entrance for after-hours donations.

So now that you know where to get your books, how about a few recommendations for some good reads? (Just as a disclaimer…sorry guys, you may like one of two of these, but these definitely aren’t the most masculine picks…whatever…go work on your march madness brackets.)

1. I could never get into the Twilight or Harry Potter books because of the more science fiction nature of them, but after reading Wicked (Gregory MaGuire), I may give them a second thought. Once you get past the talking animals and figure out who is who and who lives where (the author provides a map that I referenced for at least the first half of the book before I could really grasp it), you’ll be hooked. If you are expecting The Wizard of Oz, be prepared for a surprise! This is a much darker take on how the Wicked Witch came to be.

2. History has never been my strength, so historical fiction isn’t typically something that I pick up, but something about the cover of The 19th Wife (David Ebershoff) caught my eye. I’m glad it did because as I sat on the beach of North Carolina last summer, I had a hard time tearing myself away from this book to go jump in the ocean! The novel contains two stories in one – The first recounts Brigham Young's expulsion of one of his wives, Ann Eliza, from the Mormon Church; the second is a modern-day murder mystery set in a polygamous compound in Utah. If my history textbooks were half as interesting as this book, perhaps I would have liked it a lot more!

3. I used to tear through chick lit books in just a few days, but recently I can’t seem to find one that keeps my attention. If you’re bored of the typical chick-lit plot lines involving a compulsive shopper who happens to be unlucky in love and happened to get laid off before meeting the man of her dreams at the new job of her dreams…give Firefly Lane (Kristin Hannah) a try. It took a little while for me to get into, but once it got rolling, I became completely engrossed in the friendship between the two main characters, Tully and Kate – a friendship that spans over an entire lifetime and a string of momentous events. This is the 2nd book in my entire life that brought me to tears! And speaking of…

4. If you’re looking for a good romance novel, try something a bit different with The Pact (Jodi Picoult). While I feel that pretty much anything that Picoult writes is gold, this was the FIRST book that brought me to tears (on an airplane…in the middle seat…of all places. One word: awkward.) Not your typical love story, this novel is based around a possible suicide pact between two adolescents in love (I realize this sounds exactly like Romeo and Juliet, which would make it your VERY typical love story, but I promise, it’s not!). Picoult always does a great job of making the trials come to life (there is one in almost, if not all, of the books she writes) and if romance isn’t your thing, I’d still encourage you to check out other books of hers. My favorites are Plain Truth (I read this book so thoroughly that the entire binding came apart and I had to read it in legitimate sections at a time.) and The 10th Circle. And just as a disclaimer, if you’ve seen the Lifetime movies of any of these books, READ THEM ANYWAY. The movies were awful. And I love me some lifetime, but they did absolutely no justice to how great these books are.

5. And finally, if you’re looking for something to make you laugh, check out any of Jen Lancaster’s books. My favorite was Such a Pretty Fat, which follows the trials and tribulations of her weight loss journey, but all of her books include her signature wit and snarky sarcasm which make me laugh outloud at times. Although I haven’t read them, I’m a HUGE fan and have heard rave reviews about any of Chelsea Handler’s books. So if sarcasm makes you giggle, definitely check out these authors.

While I could literally go one for days recommending books, I think this is a pretty good start! (I tend to forget that I can only read one book at a time. I typically remember when I’m in the checkout line at the book store, borderline sweating because I’m toting around 15 books.) So whether you’re soaking up the sun in the sand, or curling up in bed during a thunderstorm, there is no denying the satisfaction of a good book. Any recommendations? Feel free to share!

Happy Reading!

MK

sleeping to dream.

2010-03-11T16:54:00.000-08:00

One of the most common themes to my daily emails with my friends is the topic of not sleeping well. Whether one of us couldn’t fall asleep to begin with, or couldn’t stay asleep, a day rarely goes by that I don’t hear at least one friend of coworker complain about a lack of sleep for one reason or another. So with just one more work day to go before we can all sleep in, I thought I’d share a few tried and true tips on sleeping well:

1. Set somewhat of a routine. I realize that most of us spend the evenings trying to get everything done that we can’t get done during the work day, but try to spend the last hour or two before you go to sleep in a relatively similar way every night. This way, your body eventually recognizes the routine and gets used to your schedule. About an hour before I go to bed, I turn off all of my bedroom lights except for the lamp next to my bed. I feel like it starts to put my body into relaxation mode. So whether you shower before bed, read, whatever you choose, aim to do it around the same time each night if you can.

2. Nix the TV and computer right before bed. I used to habitually fall asleep with the TV on, but found that I woke up constantly throughout the night. Now, I turn off the TV and computer at least a half hour before I want to go to sleep. Your TV and computer get your brain stimulated & moving, and when you want to sleep, that’s the last thing you need! I know a lot of people aren’t big on reading, but I really suggest trying it. Even if it’s just a magazine, I find that I relax faster, gets my mind off my workday or anything else going on, and before I know it…my eyelids start to get heavy.

3. I make my room a sleeping haven. All of the colors in my room are very soothing, my mattress is legitimately cloud-like (seriously, be jealous) and I’ve filled it with candles and anything else that might feel spa-related. I realized not many guys find candles to be all that masculine, but just make your room a place where you can’t wait to go to sleep and relax, whatever that means to you.

4. Living in the city, I’m faced with an assortment of sounds all day and night long. Sirens, loud cars, people walking by, you name it, I hear it right outside my bedroom window. To top it off, I also have streetlights that line my entire street. If you are able to get blackout shades, I HIGHLY recommend them, but if not, try lining the inside of your curtains with a darker fabric to help block out any additional light coming in. And my personal favorite? My ocean sounds purchase from iTunes. It may take a little while to get used to if you usually sleep in silence, but nothing relaxes me more like the sounds of crashing waves, plus it buffers out any household creaks or outside noises. You can purchase alarm clocks that include an assortment of nature sounds, purchase a CD of them, or try iTunes. I cannot recommend this enough, it makes a WORLD of a difference in how I sleep. You can also check out www.soundsleeping.com and make your own little soundboard of sleep sounds.

5. On the topic of crashing ocean waves…(and this might be my strangest suggestion yet..)…one of my biggest problems used to be that I couldn’t relax my mind. I would lie in bed, my body would be tired, but I just couldn’t stop running through things I needed to do the next day. I started focusing on one thing in my head. I have two go-tos that pretty much always work. 1. I picture a white sheet on a clothesline in the middle of nowhere with the wind slightly blowing. Sounds corny, but its totally effective. Just try it. You don't even have to admit to trying it. Beats counting sheep. 2. A few years ago, I took a trip to Cancun with one of my best friends and made one of the best decisions yet – which was to purchase a massage on the beach. Pairs nicely with my crashing ocean waves when I picture myself getting a massage on the beach! Before I know it…lights out.

6. Last but CERTAINLY not least….my personal favorite…the melatonin cocktail, as I so affectionately call it. For anyone who isn’t comfortable taking Tylenol PM (I personally can’t, hallucinations follow…), try something herbal such as Valerian Root or Melatonin. There is also a combination of the two called “Sleep n Restore” that I recommend. They don’t exactly knock you out, but rather just mellow you out and help you sleep soundly. Plus they don’t make you feel groggy in the morning. Now if you really can’t sleep…in comes the cocktail. Limit this to one, at MOST two glasses of wine becuase a) you dont want to feel it the next day and 2) most people who drink at night, dont end up sleeping well. So my secret recipe? 1 melatonin + 1 glass of redwine = the mellie cocktail is born.

Hopefully this little list was helpful and will aid in you all getting some beauty sleep.

Sweet dreams!

MK

risky business.

2010-03-11T16:51:00.000-08:00

One of my old managers tasked me with what I thought was a very simple request, but turned out to be something that I would carry with me two years later. She asked me to take one risk a week. I thought it was sort of a strange request, since I felt that the word “risk” carried a negative connotation, but I complied. It didn’t have to be anything momentous, just something that I may not normally do, or a decision that I would normally be on the fence about. It didn’t always work in my favor, but I can confidently say that the majority of the time I received a positive result. And if I didn’t, I had learned my lesson with that particular risk. When I was interviewing for another position, I was asked how I felt about taking risks or if I tended to lean more towards a “by the book” mentality. Unsure of the answer they were actually looking for, I was honest. I told them I take a one risk per week – as long as it is a risk that I feel has the potential of benefiting the situation or anyone involved. (I didn’t want them to think I just lived on the edge on a weekly basis, rob a bank here, get a facial piercing there.) They looked a little taken back by my answer and it wasn’t until after I was hired that I learned that my answer had made quite a favorite impression. The specifically remembered me answering that way and told me that it was one of the points in the interview where they knew they wanted to hire me.

As I have said in previous posts, I have always considered myself a routine person. However, recently I realized that I’m not nearly as routine as I once was. Yes, I try to be in bed, lights off by 10:30 at the absolute latest, Monday through Friday. But no, I don’t need to know my social calendar 5 days in advance; I no longer get thrown into a whirlwind of anxiety when plans (or people, for that matter) change. I contribute this, largely, to doing things outside of my comfort zone, little by little.

It may sound silly, but I really encourage anyone to try taking a risk a week. It could be work related (for me, this often involved sending people on assignments who had not done well the first time around), or just saying yes to doing something that you haven’t done before or are on the fence about.

Things that you may consider a risk now may turn out to be some of your best decisions! And believe me, I’m quite skilled on both good and bad decisions. Ask me about the 7 stitches in my chin. Hellooo college.

MK

because sharing is caring.

2010-03-02T14:53:00.000-08:00

My Dad wrote me an email today and referenced a book I had given him for Christmas last year, The Bounce Back Book: How to Thrive in the Face of Adversity, Setbacks, and Losses by Karen Salmansohn. I had been browsing Barnes and Nobles one day at lunch and saw this bright red book sticking out at me and picked it up. The book cover was made out of rubber and the pages were filled with different fonts and colors. I know they say not to judge a book by its cover, but in this case I completely did and it was well worth it! I enjoy reading as a whole, but especially reading about self growth and improvement in our everyday lives. In my opinion, you can never stop learning about how to become a better version of yourself. I took the book home, read it in a night and was shocked at how this quirky, concise book could have gotten through to me so much. It tells you, simply, how to bounce back. It never specifies from what, that is totally up to your own interpretation. But from a bad day or a life changing event, this book can really put things in a different perspective and guide you to getting your feet back on the ground again without having to deal with a bunch of self-help jargon. The author seems to take an entire self help section of the book store and break it up into short quotes and quick exercises. So while I recommend books to my friends all the time, I’m not sure how many of them actually end up reading them (and same goes for the ones they recommend to me), but I felt like I had people in my life that needed this book. So I wrapped it up and put it under the tree for my Dad for Christmas, adding in a short note about why I wanted to pass it on to him. Over a year later, he still references it, so obviously my efforts to share the message of the book didn’t go to waste.

The idea came to me after one of my closest friends passed on a book to me in college. I have no idea what the actual issue at hand was, but I was given The Blue Day Book, which is a compilation of adorable animals with the blues that I dare you not to smile at. She wrote a note in the beginning of the book that someone had given it to her after a bad couple of days and she wanted to pass it on to me. So once I felt the sunshine come back into my life, I followed suit and passed it onto a sorority sister going through a tough time. It was a very simple gesture, but an extremely thoughtful and sincere one at that. I’ve done it a few times since, with a variety of books about different things – some self improvement, some just good reads. It’s important to be tactful when recommending something to another person – for example, if you picked up a copy of “How to Stop Being a Miserable Person in 10 Easy Steps”…you might want to reconsider passing that along to a friend, just throwing that out there.

We’ve all read something, seen something, bought something that we know someone else could use, perhaps even more than we can. So even if they don’t glance at whatever it is you’ve passed on, chances are they are still touched by the gesture itself.

And if you still aren’t convinced? Watch Pay It Forward…and then get back to me.

MK

amazing grace.

2010-03-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

grace. –noun

1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.

Last week I caught the end of a special on a book about a family who endured an unexpected loss when the writer’s 38 year old daughter died from an asymptomatic heart condition. The writer and his wife move into their son-in-law’s house to help him heal, while taking care of his three younger children. The book is Making Toast by Roger Rosenblatt, and while I have yet to read it the reviews seem to speak for themselves. I actually misheard something Rosenblatt said, but what I misheard it as, ended up carrying a bit more meaning to me. The actual sentence was that someone had told him to “write with more restraint than pain” and I heard it as “write with more grace than pain”. Ever since I (mis)heard that sentence, I haven’t been able to keep it out of my head. After reflecting on it for over a week, I’ve finally been able to truly register its meaning to me.

If there is anything I’ve learned from myself, from others, from movies, from other authors is that we, as humans, have the ability to always rise above anything we’re faced with. I don’t believe everyone chooses to, but the ability to is undoubtedly there. In my opinion, to rise above something doesn’t necessarily mean to change or fix it. It often means fixing our perspective of it and putting it in a positive and manageable light. I’m surrounded by people who are rising above hardships on a daily basis – people who have lost their jobs, aren’t able to make rent payments, or afford bus fare. Have they risen above by winning the lottery and having their problems solved? No. They’ve risen above by staying focused on the bigger picture, constantly working towards their goal, and chalking their hardship up as good life experience. So how does this relate to writing - grace and pain aside?

I was born a writer. (Although, had you asked me when I was in 3rd grade, I would have told you I was born to be a supermodel or marine biologist or even perhaps both simultaneously.) I will never claim to be the best writer and I’m still surprised & flattered when people compliment me on my writing abilities. So while I don’t think I’ll be receiving the next Pulitzer Prize, I do feel like my ability is a gift, one that I should be sharing in a way that will help others. So even if one of my random stories about the ups and downs of my early twenties reaches one person who can relate and maybe needs a little reminder that things will get better…then I feel like I’ve succeeded. To write with pain would be to put my gift to waste, while also choosing not to rise above the events that I write about. A lot of my blog entries have been about fairly typical things that my friends and I have gone through, and while in the long run they may not seem like the end of the world, they still can be pretty tough to get through at the time. It would be easy for me to sit here and write with pain, to express the deepest and darkest of emotions. And while that may be therapeutic in some way, ultimately I’m not dealing with those emotions simply by transferring them from my head to paper (and by paper I mean my computer.) On the other hand, to write with grace is to rise above. It is transferring those thoughts and emotions into writing, from a person who has learned to face adversity with tolerance and endurance. It is that change in perspective, from the hardship in our mind to the character building in our writing. It is proof that we can remain composed, and even beautiful in every sense of the word, while running headfirst into the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

I recognize not everyone is a writer. So replace “write” with “live”, and there is no way around how applicable that phrase is to you and everyone around you. It’s a shame that we will never see the day that everyone takes on this frame of mind, but just imagine if everyone lived with more grace than pain.

Our world would have a lot less bitterness,

and so much more beauty.

MK

(make like fergie and) meet me halfway.

2010-02-26T11:57:00.000-08:00

Ask most girls how they feel about dating, and I’m sure the majority of them will say they either don’t like it, or that they aren’t good at it. I can narrow this down to one and only reason: the guessing games. What else could it be? Who doesn’t like to be wined and dined? So while I thought this was something only us females had to suffer through, turns out…it works both ways. I had a guy tell me that if he could take anything out of dating, it would be people’s fear of rejection. And I couldn’t agree more. We wait an hour before returning a voicemail so we seem busy, we read and reread emails before we click send to avoid any typos and potential misinterpretations, and of course the “wait 3 days before calling after a date” move to give the other person butterflies, which is more commonly known as anxiety. All for the sake of seeming half-interested, busy, non-needy, and all around aloof. It doesn’t necessarily stop once you’re in an actual relationship, either. I spent the good portion of my last relationship tight lipped about how I felt for no other reason than the fact that I was scared. Ironically, the relationship ultimately failed with a large part due to my inability to fully put myself out there.

When my friends come to me asking whether they should call/email/text/facebook/gchat/whatever else in the world is left a guy…my response is always the same. If you want to, go for it. This is within reason, of course. If the guy has ignored you for the past 3 weeks or generally treats you badly, then of course not. But in most other situations, I say yes. We spend too much of the initial dating process trying to impress. If you’re looking for a long term relationship, how do you expect to find it when you aren’t even acting like yourself? You may be able to dupe someone into dating you, but sooner or later I’m pretty sure he’ll get to know the real you, which he may or may not like. So if you have a tendency to call someone until they pick up, then find someone who doesn’t mind it. Don’t torture yourself trying to change your own habits (unless they are just legitimately, hands down, crazy…then perhaps some self evaluation is due) if that’s who you are. Have jealous tendencies? I actually know a handful of guys who take their girlfriends’ jealousy as a form of flattery, believe it or not.

Ladies and Gents, above all, if you like or even love someone…tell them. Sure, no one wants to be rejected, but is wondering really better than knowing? If you open up to someone and tell them you like them, the worst that can happen is that they don’t feel the same way and are hopefully tactful and respectful about it. It might be a blow to your ego, but I bet it would feel a lot worse coming 3 months later when you spend those 90 days wondering (and thinking surely) if the other person had feelings for you. Best case scenario, they feel the same exact way, and your guessing games are alleviated.

More recently, I had a flash of insecurity that a guy wouldn’t like my blog and therefore, wouldn’t like me. I mean, really Megan? Get it together. My writing is as “me” as it gets. Why in the world would I want to date a guy who didn’t like something that I hold near and dear to my heart? That’s a disastrous (but entertaining) blog entry just waiting to be written.

If everyone was more willing to put themselves out there, the dating world would probably be much simpler. Although I realize it’s a far cry from reality, it’s still something to keep in mind next time you’re on the fence about how to act, what to do, or whether or not to say something.
Because if you both put yourself out there…you’re bound to meet right in the middle.

MK

look Mom, I can match(.com)!

2010-02-22T16:25:00.000-08:00

So, in the spirit/frustration of my recent Smalltimore dating pool/puddle post, I decided to take the issue into my own hands and try another option...online dating. I had heard a handful of success stories, and a handful (or five) of funny (but hilarious) horror stories from friends and figured it was worth a try. It was also the third snow day in a row, my car wasn't dug out, and the 34 bucks I spent on a month's membership seemed small compared to some of my recent bar tabs. Not that I'm justifying it or anything. By no means am I an expert, but in the couple of weeks that I've spent on match.com, I think I've gotten enough experience to shell out a few things I've noticed, along with a little advice for anyone who is either on the fence, or hasn't even considered it.

1. Choose your pictures wisely. I happen to be a PRO at this one, considering I change my facebook profile picture every couple of days, but apparently not everyone takes the time to consider what other people will think when they see you picture for the first time. There are guys who have a different girl in every single picture they've posted on their match profile. I mean...really? Because yes, I'm paying to go on a date with the same exact type of guy that I frequently avoid at every bar I go to. By no means do you need to have up glamor shots, but at least choose pictures that are flattering and perhaps are not all completely belligerent. Even if it means cropping out a plastic solo cup or beer can in 90% of your pictures (me? Never!). I've learned to average people's pictures out...just take their best and their worst and they probably actually look somewhere right in the middle (this works out very well for some, not so much for others). And lastly on the topic of pictures...when in doubt...go tan. You will find that more than half of the pictures that people post seem to be at the height of summer and with that comes their darkest tan. Because of course, everyone looks better tan. I'm just as guilty, considering my own profile picture was after an entire day out on a boat, mixed in with a little self tanner and a nice coat of bronzer on top. But do add in a few that show your natural skin tone (or what I vaguely remember it to look like) because unless you live in a tanning bed year round...your true colors (pun totally intended) are going to come through. Oh and just for the record...guys...you taking pictures of yourself showing your abs in the mirror...really...not...effective. It's actually just weird.

2.   Be prepared for creepers. Choose your dates wisely and don't feel like you have to respond to every email you get. I wish I could say that a site like this is reassuring because everyone is looking for the same thing (that being a legit relationship), but that is definitely not the case and usually you can spot that when someone has a username like “MRrightnow”. Be smart about your dates, don't agree to do anything or go anywhere that you aren't comfortable with. (As an aside, when I informed my Mom that I was meeting up with someone, she didn't even flinch, nevermind that I could have been sharing a meal with the next Craigslist killer for all she knew. Bless your heart, Kath, for giving everyone in the entire world the benefit of the doubt.) Also keep in mind...one woman's creeper is another woman's fiancé. I'm a strong believer that there is someone for everyone...it's just a matter of a LOT of sorting through.

3.   Be prepared to see people you know on the site...and then be prepared to see people at a bar that you know from somewhere...you can't put your finger on it....oh THAT'S right...the dating site that you haven't admitted to half of your friends that you've joined. I feel that there is some sort of etiquette, that if you see someone you know on the site, just remember...you're there too...and you're both there (hopefully) for the same reasons. Perhaps running off and telling people that you saw so and so on match.com doesn't really make you look that awesome.

4.   And on that note....ain't no shame in online dating. Where else can you type in a description of what you want (tall, check. dark, check. handsome, check.) and there it is! Simple as that. I think more people would do it if they didn't think other people might look down on it. My goal this year was to meet as many new people as I possibly could and joining match was probably one of the best ways to do so. If someone looks down on you because you're tired of meeting the same people at the bar, that's just ridiculous! One thing I can say is that I have no problem meeting guys. I just have a problem meeting the right ones for me. I think this is the case for a lot of the people who join. You'd be surprised how many normal people are on there.

5.   Have fun with it. This is your chance to meet people who you would probably otherwise never have met. Even if it means having a few glasses of wine before you meet them in person. (Now, if you're taking shots before you meet them...perhaps just stick with the bar scene all together.)
I've been flattered by the e-mails that I've received so far. Yes, many of them have totally creeped me out. But, 've talked to guys who apparently are pretty much my neighbors, others who share mutual friends, and some that I would have had no way of ever meeting otherwise. So even if you join and realize it's not for you, I'm sure you can at least take the e-mails and contacts as a big ego boost. Or worst case scenario, you end up with a few extra friends and expand your social circle.

So if you're unlucky in love, striking out as of late, or just trying to branch out and meet some new people, I'd say it's totally worth it. Even if you don't find your future significant other, I promise you'll have some great stories. So where are my stories? Those will have to wait.
I don't date and tell...

Ok fine, I do...but only to my housies and closest friends :)

MK

McDreamy, McSteamy, Bradley Cooper....oh my!

2010-02-16T15:43:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, I (along with the rest of America, or the entire state of Maryland at the very least) went to see the movie Valentine’s Day with one of my girlfriends. There has been a lot of hype about the movie since it features such a loaded cast of celebrities, and I think the anticipation for it or lack thereof was pretty much split. I took the view that there were so many famous people in it that it HAD to be good, whereas as some others thought there were too many famous people in it to be any good. I went into it expecting it to be half “He’s Just Not That Into You” (which I will now abbreviate as HJNTIY) and half “Love Actually”, which was a pretty accurate description. I love understanding and studying relationships (if you haven’t noticed) between people – not just romantic relationships, but family, friends, any type of relationship so this movie was right up my alley. My biggest complaint was that there were so many stories packed into a 90 minute movie that you couldn’t fully invest in one because as soon as you started to, it switched over to the next. HJNTIY was a bit lengthy for my ADD self, but it did provide more in depth examination of each story & relationship, so perhaps VDay (I was going to abbreviate that as VD and clearly decided against it) could have benefited from an extra 30 minutes.

My favorite stories ended up being the ones I least expected. While I think Taylor Swift is adorable, I had huge doubts about her acting abilities. Granted, she played a high school student which isn’t far from reality, so I don’t think she would have been as successful in a role that might actually challenge her. That aside, I found her to be hilarious. She perfected the ditzy, constantly-sharing-too-much-information high school girl, toting around an extra large bear the entire day for no reason other than to show it off because as she states “it’s THE most romantic thing ever.” The other story I liked was between Topher Grace, a Midwestern seemingly nice (plain) guy, who couldn’t quite put his finger on his in-between-stage girlfriend – Anne Hathaway. Turns out, she moonlights as an erotic phone operator in an effort to pay off a huge student loan. (You learn this fairly early in the movie, I’m not giving away any surprises here, FYI). Conservative Midwesterner + Erotic Phone Operator = disaster and hilarity. Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner seem to be the main focus of the entire movie, which I didn’t expect at all, but I felt they carried it fairly well and it was nice to see Kutcher in a role that didn’t involve him wearing a trucker hat and fake blowing up peoples houses a la “punk’d”.

What I found strange was that there were a number of people in the movie that you could have taken out and it would have made absolutely no difference at all. For instance, the Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts pairing didn’t really add anything to the movie at all except a little shock towards the end (I won’t spoil it!). And you know that if I’m admitting that Bradley Cooper was not a necessity to a movie…I must be telling the truth. Also, the other highschool couple trying to plan their first time just seemed a little…ridiculous? The movie as a whole seemed more of a mature movie, and the scenes with those two seemed like they belonged in American Pie. While McSteamy and Queen Latifah provided a few laughs, they were completely irrelevant to the majority of the movie.

All in all, I would recommend the movie to any of my girlfriends. I think most guys might yawn their way through it because it doesn’t provide as many laughs as I think they’d expect, but I left the movie in a good mood (although that may or may not have been an effect of the 2 margaritas I had prior…minor details). At the very least, you’ll walk away feeling slightly reassured at the sight of Jessica Biel – perhaps one of the worlds most wanted women – having a legitimate breakdown in the lap of Jamie Foxx because not one person has RSVPed to her Anti-Valentine’s Day party and the entire holiday seems to bring on a full blown anxiety attack. Something tells me JBiels hasn’t spent many Valentine’s Days alone, but it did make me feel a little better about the fact that the only thing delivered to my house on Sunday was a pizza.

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day, friends.

MK

getting deep (and I'm not referring to the 2 inches of snow stuck in my boots.)

2010-02-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

The universe has a funny way of reminding us how much bigger it is than us and how much is out of our control...how much we can plan, whether it is on a day to day basis or planning for the future as a whole, and no matter what, not everything will turn out as expected. So we can take our selves as seriously as we want...but chances are, someone up there is laughing a little as we kick snow out of the way, block our parking spaces off with a variety of household furniture and objects, and for the unfortunate handful of people I've seen...bite it on the sidewalk...hard.

a little view from my bedroom window of Patterson Park.

friends that blog together, live together...apparently

2010-02-10T09:36:00.000-08:00

So, I've mentioned my lovely housies (upon realizing we're far too old and fabulous to use the term roommates...) in many of my posts, and figured it was about time I formally introduced them!!

Here we are for my birthday celebration...me on the bottle with the candlelit dessert, obvs...Kimi on the left and Jess on the right.

Whenever I tell people that I picked up and moved back to Baltimore, met two girls over Craigslist, and decided on living in the first house that I stepped foot in...I usually get some pretty crazy looks. When I tell them how perfectly it has worked out ever since...I get even crazier ones...! I'm telling you, I stepped in the house, saw Kimi's pink headband and even pink-er (not a word, totally ok with that) chair...I knew this would be my new home. (See: Puppy Aghevli sitting on THE pink chair)

All bragging aside....you can read up on Kimi's blog here -- she loves all things Baltimore like me, but is fabulous at showcasing the local flair, features, and of course....good eats :) Plus you'll get a look at the 4th roommate...who comes in the form of a very fluffy, cuddly dog named Puppy.

So you think I just have one fab housie? Oh no, there is another and I envy her job working for Baltimore Magazine on a daily basis. You can check out Jess' "On The Town" blog for the magazine here and her sweet top singles article here! (If you live in Bmore, you know this issue is clutch!)

So thanks to the three blogs combined...if you ever visit Charm City (or happen to live here now)...you'll know what to do and where to go!

MK

finding comfort (food) in the cold.

2010-02-10T06:43:00.000-08:00

For those of who you are reading this and not in the Mid-Atlantic region....this is the 2nd snowstorm we've gotten in the past week. So while initially most of us enjoyed an excuse to head to the bars at noon...by now (with the exception of my roommate), most are getting a little tired of the cold, the slush, and the impossibility of street parking in the city. One thing I'm fairly sure I'll never get tired of...is some good comfort food on the coldest of days :) I thought I'd share my favorite and hopefully inspire a few of my fellow Mid-Atlantic-ers!

1. Grilled Cheese. There is absolutely no denying that this simplest pleasure is also one of the best. Eat it plain, eat it with a cup of tomato soup, or eat it with the works. It will take you straight back to the snow days that you spent sledding in your neighborhood, only to run home so your clothes could get thrown in the dryer long enough for you to refuel and head back out. I had a version of this one at a local restaurant, and it was to die for...Preheat oven to 400°F. Lightly butter 1 side of each bread slice. Place 2 bread slices, buttered side down, on work surface. Top each with 2 prosciutto slices, then 4 basil leaves, then 4 cheese slices. Sprinkle with salt and crushed red pepper. Top with remaining 2 bread slices, buttered side up. Heat olive oil in heavy large ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. Add sandwiches to skillet and cook until golden on bottom, about 4 minutes. Turn sandwiches over; transfer skillet to oven and bake until golden and cheese melts, about 5 minutes. Remove from oven. Carefully lift off top bread slices from sandwiches and insert 3 tomato slices into each, then cover with bread tops and serve.

2. Mac and Cheese. Whether you want to reach for the blue box, or make your own, this is another childhood favorite that never seems to get old! If you know me...you're aware that I would legitimately put ranch dressing on everything I ate if it was socially acceptable. So imagine my excitement when I came across this recipe for Ranch Maracroni and Cheese...

Ingredients

1 package (6 ounces) elbow macaroni
1 cup 2% milk
1/4 cup butter, cubed
1 envelope ranch salad dressing mix
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon garlic pepper blend
1 teaspoon lemon-pepper seasoning
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Colby cheese
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
1/2 cup crushed saltines
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions: Cook macaroni according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a Dutch oven (a crock pot can be used), combine the milk, butter, dressing mix and seasonings; heat through. Stir in Monterey Jack and Colby cheeses until melted. Stir in sour cream. Drain macaroni; stir into cheese sauce with the saltines. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Yield: 8 servings.

3. Chicken Pot Pie. I had actually completely forgotten about this meal until this past weekend when one of my friends (who I happened to be snowed in with) whipped it up for dinner. Not only is it warm and filling, but its quick and easy!

1 can of cream of chicken soup

1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup of milk plus 2/3 cup, divided
1/2 teaspoon of thyme
1/4 teaspoon of pepper
1/8 teaspoon of poultry seasoning
2 pkg of frozen mixed veggies, thawed
2 cans of cooked chicken
1 1/2 cups of biscuit baking mixLarge bowl combine soups, 1/2 cup of milk, seasonings, stir in chicken and veggies, transfer to 13*9 ban, spray with Pam. In a small bowl, stir the bisquit mix and 2/3 cup of milk untl blended. Then drop 12 spoonfuls onto the chicken mixture.
Bake uncovered at 350 for 40 tp 50 minutes or until filling is bubbly and bisquits are a golden brown.

If these recipes aren't really up your alley, just google "comfort food" and hundreds of recipes will follow. Now will these recipes help with your new years resolution to have a bikini body by summer? Probably not. But it's a snow day. Anything goes.

MK

from snowflakes to sunshine

2010-02-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

I spent the majority of yesterday griping about the snow forecast, including the snow we got last night and the snow storm we’re supposed to get this weekend. I am not a cold weather person, in fact I’m naturally cold all the time. I’ve never been a big fan of skiing because of the cold (plus the fact that you’re wearing so many clothes, you inevitably start sweating, and then you’re hot, but its cold, and its just too many variables going on at one time for me), and – in my adult years – I’ve never been one to celebrate a snow day by playing outside. My roommate is a person who is generally excited about life, therefore automatically makes life more fun. It’s snowing, she’s excited, it’s sunny, she’s excited. Even when it’s raining she may not be excited, but I also wouldn’t put it past her to go jump in a few puddles just for fun. And I envy that, at least in terms of her fondness for a good snowstorm. All that aside, I am a very mobile person in terms of living situations. I feel like a bit of a nomad, with a hint of wanderlust. I can’t stay put for long periods of time. But still, despite my feelings towards cold weather, I have yet to choose a state that has year round warm weather. That is for a few reasons, but one of them being that I’m not sure how I could truly appreciate the first warm day of spring without recently experience the coldest day of winter. Yes, it would be great to sport a year round tan (and some of us do, hello unlimited tanning packages) and have a wardrobe solely consisting of lightweight clothes, I can’t deny that. But nothing compares to those first couple weeks of spring, when you aren’t sure how to dress because in the morning its cold, but when you walk out at lunch with your jacket on it’s too warm. The first outdoor happy hour you can attend, probably when it’s not even really warm enough to do so, but you’ve gotten that hint of the summer to come and you can’t resist. One thing that I love about Baltimore in the summer is the abundance of rooftop decks. We may not have pools in our backyards (unless you consider the Merritt gym to be your backyard) – or backyards…at all --- but you can step up to a rooftop deck and see a row of others doing the same things – grilling out, having drinks, and just soaking up the sun (OR launching water balloons as I realized upon having one break all over me last year). During the summer, the city is alive again. The park and sidewalks are full of people, windows are open, and it’s as if the city lays back and relaxes a bit. We appreciate being able to walk from one end of the Square to the next without our teeth chattering because we’re too stubborn to wear a coat to the bar and risk leaving it there or losing it all together (spoken by a true pro, unfortunately). We appreciate our little tiny back decks or patio areas, with just enough room for a few chairs and good company. And most of all, we appreciate evenings as the sun goes down, celebrating warm weather with drinks and good food in hand, surrounded by friends, each one of us with pink shoulders and necks from being too stubborn to wear sunscreen just yet.

the dating puddle: baltimore.

2010-01-31T16:40:00.000-08:00

If I had to describe the Baltimore dating and social scene, it would be that it is a tiny pond full of big fish. And by big fish I mean, guys perfecting their swooped hair while they toss their lacrosse sticks in the car and girls throwing a pair of boots over their leggings while they tighten their messy half-side ponytails. This is, of course, during an off-night of your team’s kickball/softball/whateverball game. You know exactly who will be at Bay Café for a summer happy hour, and who will be at Little Havanas. You expect to run into crowd A at Portside and know to avoid Stalking Horse to skip a run in with crowd B. You can go grocery shopping at Safeway and recognize at least a quarter of the people (and if you went to Elon and also live in Baltimore, you can expect to recognize at least half.) I always joke that the only thing smaller than Elon…is Baltimore. I remember moving here in 2006, my first time ever living in a city, and thinking it was HUGE. I walked out my door and I was lost, the only people I knew were the ones I had either gone to college with or met through my college friends. I had no idea that within a handful of months I, too, would become a big fish in this little, urban, pond. One thing I have noticed about this city is that I know a handful of individuals who, literally, know everyone. If I ever need to break the ice with someone, I can simply ask them “do you know so and so” and sure enough, we have a mutual friend. (Ah, don’t you wish you knew if you were one of my icebreakers?!? I’ll never tell!) Another thing I realized, is that four years out of college (sigh.), I have yet again lost my first name and come to terms with the fact that I might as well just go by my last name all together. (Madonna, Prince, Deasy….the one name thing could totally work.) A few weeks ago, I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in probably 3 years and he actually walked up to introduce himself to me. Handshake and all. (Which is actually half impressive, I wasn’t aware people still shook hands when meeting in the bar. And I say “still”, as if I thought they ever did in the first place, which I’m not entirely sure of.) Laughing, I remind him that we know each other, and even after I say my first name he still looks somewhat puzzled, and I get my last name halfway out of my mouth and DING, we’re friends again. (I can only hope that somewhere someone is using my last name as an icebreaker…).

When my ex moved to Canton, my response was along the lines of “how dare he!!”. Canton was MY neighborhood, the Square held MY bars, and that was MY Safeway and now I, not only have to share it, but also have the constant possibility of an awkward run in. We’ve discussed who is at Safeway when and I even (politely) begged him not to frequent my favorite bars. All for one reason: Because the only thing smaller than the dating scene…is the breakup scene.

Small as it may be, there is a comforting familiarity to Baltimore’s social scene. Baltimore magazine recently did an article on “Dating in Smalltimore” and touched on a lot of the same things. We may gripe about the ZERO degrees of separation in this city, but its tough to feel lonely in a place where you can step out your door and into a conversation with a familiar face. I know very few couples who have originated from an introduction at the bar. Most of them are friends of friends, set ups, even a few blind dates. So the “Millionaire Matchmaker”, Patti Stanger, may say that the DC Metro area doesn’t work in the favor of singles, but I’d have to disagree. Once you accept the city’s scene for what it is, you might actually find you prefer this dating puddle versus a full blown dating pool.

from elementary school to present: a valentine's day journey.

2010-01-27T18:18:00.000-08:00

As Valentine’s Day rolls around, the moans and groans of all those opposed to this “holiday” (I use the term loosely) only increase. I’ve always remained fairly indifferent about Valentine’s Day, but have had my share of really great years and really terrible years. So from my elementary school days of building & decorating my cardboard box for my Valentines to making reservations at the area’s nicest restaurant, I’ve come to learn that Valentine’s Day tends to turn out best when you expect nothing at all and that those who loathe the day probably set their expectations too high in the first place. In true MK fashion, I have a wealth of personal examples to cite.

I will be the first to admit, I was just plain spoiled in high school when it came to this day. That’s what I get for going to a school full of rich teenagers which nothing better to do with their parents’ money, I suppose. (Remember, I was there on scholarship. I can poke fun of the rest of them.) In the four years of high school, there wasn’t one Valentine’s Day that went buy without me receiving a dozen long stemmed roses delivered in the middle of the day, naturally, so that I (and the rest of my girlfriends) could parade them around school like a trophy in bouquet form. My high school boyfriend and I broke things off when we left for college, but like a fairly typical female freshman in college, I was still convinced we could work it out. Valentine’s day came around and I was SURE I would receive something. To top it off, my ex even mentioned that I should be getting something in the mail. Imagine my excitement when I received a mail slip that informed me I had to actually go to the local post office instead of the school one of pick up my package. This typically only happened for very important or large things. So after trotting off to the local post office, waiting in line, turning in my slip, and getting handed an envelope with a small lump in it, I felt my mood shift from excited to disappointed. I tore open the envelope to find a card with not much more than a name signed at the bottom and a chocolate heart that said “hugs”. I could have died. In fact, I think I temporarily got light headed from a combination of anger and embarrassment right there, in the Burlington, NC post office. I spent the rest of the day visiting a nursing home (sorority obligation), eating Ben and Jerry’s (no lie) and attempting to stare a hole into the card I have received (unsuccessful). Needless to say, I had set my expectations way too high and unless he had sent something just short of…himself…I probably would have still been disappointed.

The years that followed involved dinner at Burlington’s ONLY “formal” restaurant. If you were going on a date and had enough of O’Charley’s dinner rolls (if that’s even possible) and you didn’t want to drive to Greensboro, you were going to B. Christopher’s. Then came my first Vday in Baltimore, and coincidentally my first time being single on that day in years. Unsure of how to feel about that, I did what any 20-something, single girl does on Valentine’s Day. The weekend before, my roommates and I threw an “Anti-Valentine’s Day” party (huge success) and on the actual holiday, I went to the bar. I had absolutely no expectations that year and ended having one of the best Vdays to date. (As an aside, guys…when approaching ladies at the bar on Valentine’s Day, please refrain from asking “why don’t you have a Valentine?”. We get that it’s supposed to be a compliment, as in how in the world do we not have one, but it misses the mark and leaves us reminded that we are, in fact, Valentine-less. A for effort, though.)

Somewhat more recently, I let my expectations get the best of me and ended up sabotaging my own Valentine’s Day. The day started off wonderfully…a pedicure with one of my best friends, spent a little time at a party at a local bar, and was looking forward to a quiet, home cooked meal from my significant other. The only problem was, my SO had roommates who had the same idea in mind so our access to the kitchen was pushed off until after 9pm and I sat at the table, arms crossed, letting my chicken parm get cold. It was a Saturday. I had no plans the next day. There was no reason for me to get bent out of shape because of something that was out of his control. But, yet again, I let the expectations get the best of me. While we’ve since laughed about the infamous chicken parm Valentine’s Day disaster, at the time…not so funny.

So I’m not sure if I have my high school boys to thank for setting the bar entirely too high, or just myself. But I have learned over the years that it’s just one day. It won’t make or break me or the relationship I may or may not be in at the time. Spoil your friends, your significant other, even your family (I still love the fact that my Mom and I have always exchanged Valentine’s day cards and gifts since I can remember). But don’t necessarily expect anything in return. Chances are, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

And if not? There is always room for “that girl” on Valentine’s Day. And by that I mean the girl sitting next to my table at Mama’s on the Half Shell last year, drinking heavily, singing Beyonce’s “to the left, to the left” at the top of her lungs. Something tells me her night hadn’t exactly met her expectations. Just a hunch.

if we knew then what we know now.

2010-01-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

**spoiler alert for the movie :) **

Over the weekend, I saw the movie “It’s Complicated” with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep. For those of you who don’t know the concept, the two divorced 10 years ago, he has since remarried, and then the original two begin to have an affair, rekindling the feelings that led them to get married in the first place. At one point in the movie, they question if they are on to something, if broken up or divorced couples could later get back together, only after they had grown into the person that their significant other had wanted them to be all along. So is this a legitimate concept?

I say yes. I am a strong believer that timing is everything, and that goes for external factors (jobs, family life, etc) as well as internal (individual growth or lack thereof). So, if I had dated someone and it didn’t work out because I wasn’t at the right place in my life, or because his job was new and too stressful, who is to say that once I AM in the right place and once he has settled into his new job…we couldn’t be successful as a couple? I think this makes perfect sense. It gives you a chance to self reflect, realizing what you want to work on as a person, how you need to grow, where your greatest relationship strengths are…but also enables you to go into a relationship knowing exactly what you need to work on and what your biggest challenges were. We often say “if we knew then, what we know now….” and this is giving us a chance to do exactly that.

I don’t think this is the case for every relationship, obviously, since each one is different and ends for a variety of reasons. If the reason things didn’t work out was because of a personality conflict, the chances of that truly changing are slim. But as I said before, if it is simply a case of timing, it may be worth reconsidering. Some relationships are definitely worth revisiting, while others may be too broken to fix. In the movie, the couple doesn’t end up getting back together. There is no saying that just because it is three years down the road, your previously broken relationship can be pieced back together. But there is also no saying that it definitely can’t.

Worth a second shot? That’s your call.

I'm alive!

2010-01-24T15:16:00.001-08:00

Hiii friends. So, yes, I'm alive. My computer is out of commission for the time being so I have no way to post, but rest assured I will make up for that as soon as I have it back!

xoxo

MK

adventures in snow shoveling. a lesson in coming together.

2009-12-21T17:46:00.001-08:00

A good friend of mine reemphasized something today that I had been thinking about over the weekend – that snow seems to be the one thing that really brings the community together. Sounds a little strange, I guess, but it’s true. For whatever reason, Maryland always seems to be surprised by bad weather. FYI: You are more north than south, therefore chances are, you may get snow dumped on you once in awhile. So as annoyed as I was by the entire city shutting down in preparation for and during the storm, I was happy to see people helping other people out. My first instance of this was as I was desperately trying to get my car out of my spot. I had shoveled my way out with an ice scraper (which wasn’t bad considering I’ve heard about the use of tennis rackets, dustpans, and my adorable roommate even walked out of the house with a spatula of sorts. Bless your heart, Jess!! ), but my car was still stuck. I had one girl offer to push my car, another guy knock on my window to see if I needed help. Mind you, it has been a clear day in the middle of summer, when one of my grocery bags has broken all over the sidewalk and plenty of people have walked by me, never asking for help, just short of picking up my rolling Pepsi cans and taking one for themselves.

Getting out of my spot was not nearly as difficult as getting INTO a spot a few hours later. I drove around the block a few times trying to find a spot that was big enough for me to slide my car into without hitting another car. I had finally found one so I threw the Sentra in reverse and then gunned it into a spot…and about a foot into a legit snow bank. Just as this happened, a group of people knocked on my window asking if I needed help. They pushed and pulled, and one guy even totally faceplanted in the snow (we are talking face down, snow in mouth) all for the sake of getting my car into a spot. So with, what I thought was the worst behind me, I walked out to my car on Sunday, ready to dig my car out in round two. Only this time the snow was up over my tires and my ice scraper wasn’t cutting it. I walked back home, feeling defeated when my roommates boyfriend graciously agreed to help me, although until he saw my car, I don’t think he knew what he was getting himself into. So as I was reversing and going forward, Danny scraped and scraped (I would say shoveled…but what we were doing in no way, shape or form constituted shoveling) until a little boy, no more than a few feet tall brought a shovel over to us, stating “My Dad says you need this”, and hands us the shovel. It was, hands down, the nicest thing that has happened to me in awhile, and also the most heartwarming being that this little boy was about half the size of the shovel, with a thick Spanish accent. His parents dusted the snow off their truck while we got my car out successfully.

I’m not sure what it is about the snow that makes people a little eager to lend a helping hand. I noticed people smiled a little more as I passed them (which could have been the day drinking involved in the snow storm, but whatever, I’ll take it) and rooted for each other a little more (when we finally got my car out, the couple across the street yelled and fist pumped).

If only we treated everyday like a snowday. Ironically, the coldest weekend in awhile turned out to be the most heartwarming.

MK

(not so) blue christmas.

2009-12-21T17:45:00.001-08:00

As fun as the holiday season can be, many people find it to be quite the opposite – pretty depressing, especially for the singles. This being the first Christmas in quite some time that I’ve been single, I fully understand how the holiday blues can strike just about anyone. Since I REFUSE to be the Grinch, or Scrooge or anything along those lines…I figured I’d point out a few perks of being single around these months.

The obvious answer would be, one less person to shop for, right? Try a handful of people less to shop for. I actually had done fairly well last year in terms of budgeting for everyone…that is, until Christmas Eve hit and I blew 300 bucks at Target. (Do you have ANY idea how much you can buy at Target for that much money?) I adore giving gifts. It’s like an addiction, really. To the point that I notice the SMALLEST details and hints from people just so that I can apply it when gift hunting for them. For example, I knew for a fact that the ex’s (we’ll just refer to him as “P” from now on to avoid confusion…since yes, there are a handful of exes.) uncle LOVED peanuts. So what did I do? Dropped close to 40 bucks on a specialty peanut pack from LL Bean, plus a bag of European coffee and a book on food/wine pairings from William-Sonoma. P argued with me in line for a solid 20 minutes, insisting that his uncle didn’t even eat peanuts and what do you know, Christmas Eve he opens up the package and exclaims (along with everyone else around us), “Peanuts, my favorite, this is PERFECT!”. Hmph. Told ya so. Peanuts aside, if I did a 3 part gift for a local aunt and uncle, you can only imagine what I did for P and his Mom alone. This year, I scanned my list of people to buy gifts for and it was significantly smaller. No significant other, no significant other’s parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmothers, or any other distant relatives (sidenote: it didn’t help that ALL of his family lived locally, whereas my extended family STARTS in Montana therefore we have totally given up on gifts considering the shipping costs alone.) Granted, it didn’t save me THAT much money because I may or may not have replaced those people with MYSELF on my list…but hey, if no guy is going to spoil me…I might as well spoil myself, right? (And that, is the motto that has landed me in a negative net worth, might I add.)

Last year was the first time I didn’t come home for Christmas. I had to work half of Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas, so we spent the actual holiday with his family and then went home the weekend after to spend it with my family. No big deal, right? Wrong. During my shopping frenzy on Christmas Eve, I came across my favorite childhood Christmas movie, “The Christmas Toy”. The last I had seen this movie was our own recorded version from TV that I’m sure is long gone between all of our family moves, or weathered from storage in our garage. I watched this movie so often when I was younger that I even remember the commercials that were taped along with it off TV. I spot the DVD in Target…and start crying. So it’s Christmas Eve, in the Target in Alexandria, in the Electronics section, and I’m crying. I call P, hysterical that I found the movie and also that normally, I’d be spending my Christmas Eve probably at our old neighbors house in Yardley (they essentially were the closest thing to family we had in PA, so holidays were often spend together) but instead, we had no plans. (Naturally, I also called my Mom to inform her that I was buying two copies of the DVD and that I was having a mental breakdown). To P’s credit, he mustered up plans ASAP, and we were off to visit local family (and then later watched “The Christmas Toy” not once, but twice). The next day was the same an early morning at his Mom’s, followed by an entire afternoon and evening of family. And two days later we were off to NJ to visit MY family. Holidays are exhausting as it is. Splitting them between families is even MORE exhausting (friends of mine who have divorced parents, I give you SO much credit for enduring this for however long you’ve been doing it). There is always a little bit of tension regarding where you’ll spend the actual holiday and with which family, or if you’ll actually split it up and do half of the day with one and half with the other. This year? I will drive home Christmas Eve, enjoy the comfort of my own home and family for 4 days, and drive back. Plain and simple.

So, my single lovelies, fear not. While you have many hectic holidays to look forward to with your future significant other, I’m sure, you can spend this one with your feet up and wallet a little fatter (unless…you’re me, and with the amount of Christmas cookies and candy I’ve already consumed, we can all see where this fat joke is going…). Your committed friends are probably running around, car packed with gifts, essentially reenacting the movie “Four Christmases” (one can only hope the family wrestling match is involved just for your own entertainment.)

So curl up by the fireplace, surrounded by family, and force them to watch “The Christmas Toy”. And if they give any sign of resistance, simply start to sniffle, and the mere thought of you shedding tears in Target will sucker them right back in. I promise.

MK

life lessons from Lady Gaga. yep you read that right.

2009-12-21T17:44:00.001-08:00

My Lady Gaga costume came to me after purchasing an amazing(ly cheap) pair of sunglasses from Forever 21, while in the car listening to Poker Face on the radio. Since then, I have become full blown obsessed. Not only was this the most fun Halloween costume I’ve worn yet, but as a result, every time she comes on at the bar, I have an excuse to break out some amazing dance moves (ie waving my hand in front of my face while shouting P-P-P-POKER FACE). Not only has this celeb inspired my dance moves, but I’ve also learned a few reasons why I should live every day like I’m Lady Gaga….

1.Don’t apologize. And no, I don’t mean that in a way that I once did. One of my personal mottos used to be “I don’t apologize…because I’m not sorry”. Sounds harsh, right? It was totally accurate. I had a terrible time apologizing, the words “I’m sorry” would actually pain me to come out of my mouth. While I have learned to apologize when necessary, I have learned not to apologize for who I am. I’m honest, hardworking, focused, sometimes emotional, hot headed, stubborn, fun loving, shy and outgoing at the same time, creative, attention seeking, affection craving, intelligent, witty, sometimes insensitive to others but oversensitive when it comes to myself, happy, newly optimistic, prideful, giving, nervous by nature, routine, awkward, and the list goes on. I often apologized for acting certain ways or saying how I felt, but finally came to the realization that this is me. I wholeheartedly believe in self improvement, but there is no reason to apologize for being who we are. You won’t be friends with everyone; you cannot be liked by everyone. That was, perhaps, the biggest obstacle for me to overcome. But once you accept yourself for who you are, you’ll allow yourself to focus on your strengths, rather than your weaknesses, and with that…comes confidence.

2.You don’t have to prove your intelligence by rattling off big words. Instead, try using your wit. The most common rumor circling Lady Gaga is that she may be transgender. You can’t google her without this coming up repeatedly. On the Jay Leno show, she was clearly being set up to talk about this when asked “what is the most ridiculous rumor you’ve heard about yourself?”. Instead of playing right into what he wanted her to say, she responded “That I’m from Yonkers”. Well played, my leotard wearing friend, well played. Look up a few jokes online, and anyone can be funny. In my opinion, it takes a certain amount of intellect to be witty. So, if you happen to have a hard time getting people to take you seriously as a professional, an artist, etc because you’re female, successful, attractive, whatever the case may be…try throwing them for a loop with your wit and they may realize you’re much smarter than they ever knew. Unless, of course, they don’t understand it…in which case, your point has been proven anyway.

3.And finally…never, under any circumstances, take yourself too seriously. People may scoff at a grown woman prancing around town in a leotard and a bow made out of actual hair, but chances are…that woman is having WAY more fun than they are. People are going to gossip no matter what, that’s just the way we’re made, for whatever reason. Even the best of us do it once in awhile. So if people are ALREADY going to talk about you…then you might as well give them something to talk about!

So for a lot of people, Lady Gaga is just some crazy singer who tends to lack clothing and has been said to be dating Kermit the Frog. To me, she’s a reminder that life is meant to be fun. So do what you need to do, let your freak flag fly, and if anyone needs to borrow a leotard…I’d be happy to lend you mine.

MK

The Shore Uproar.

2009-12-15T17:40:00.000-08:00

By definition, I'm not a Jersey Girl. I was born in California, raised in Pennsylvania, attended high school in New Jersey and then my parents moved across the border to NJ as I was transitioning out of high school and into college. That being said, I know enough about Jersey to have pride in it and to talk about it. Unless you are living underneath the world's largest rock, you've heard about the MTV show “Jersey Shore”. It is, essentially, The Real World but in a shore house with a handful of residents from Jersey or NY. Loving everything that IS the Jersey Shore, I tuned in for its premiere and laughed at its ridiculousness. Intellectual, it was not. Entertaining, it was. Apparently there has been a huge uproar from a variety of groups, most Italian based (shocker.) because they feel that the show only magnifies the stereotypes of Italians in New Jersey and NY and essentially gives them a bad name.

So let me get this straight. You're okay with The Sopranos, but not Jersey Shore? Please explain. Okay, I understand that The Sopranos is not being shot as a “reality” (and I use that term loosely) show, but what about the “Real Housewives of New Jersey”. That season dealt with some of NJ's biggest stereotypes: big hair, big Italian families, and of course, the Mob. But these families couldn't be confused with the guidos and guidettes of the shore because they're paying for the furniture for their custom built mansion in cash, right? Right. Consistency folks. If you're going to cause an uproar over an overtanned girl from NJ nicknamed Snookie drinking a few too many and throwing morals out the window...you might as well cause an uproar about a NJ family dinner that involes the book “Cop Without a Badge” and a grown woman shouting “prostitution whore” as she nearly flips the dinner table over in a restaurant. Agreed?

Intent of the show aside, let's discuss the accuracy of it. No, not every beach in New Jersey is covered with so called “guidos” and “guidettes”. But, I'd say at least half of them are. There are beaches that are more family oriented or geared towards an older crowd, and then there are places like Seaside Hights or dare I say, Wildwood, that are packed with girls donning a sky-high pouf and acrylic nails that would make Catwoman shudder and guys who are only concerned with working out their upper body, blowing their hair out (yes, they really do this) and (not so admittedly) getting their eyebrows threaded. These people do exist. In fact, I have a picture of MYSELF not THAT long ago on a bench at the Jersey Shore, chunky highlights in tact, oversized hoop earrings, and long acrylic nails with hot pink tips. Hot pink tips. That really happened. So, while not every person you'll come across is a Snookie or “The Situation”...there is no shortage of these characters either.

The show is not meant to be taken seriously (and how could it be, there is actually a guy who refers to himself/his abs in 3rd person as "the situation"). I don't tune into The Hills because I actually believe that it's truthful and accurate, I tune into it because these characters' lives are more interesting than mine is on a Tuesday night at 10pm. If it offends you, don't watch it. More importantly, if it offends you, perhaps you're taking yourself a liiiiiittle too seriously. Did I throw a fit when I saw the Wayans brothers made over as typical “white chicks” with blonde hair, blue eyes, and the vocabulary of a 12 year old girl? Nope.

The people who frequent the shore know the greatness of it. No show on MTV could ever take that away. The boardwalks, the food, the sun, the people. There is no denying the fond memories it holds for so many people, myself included. Sentimentality aside, I'll still be tuning in every week. Now if I could be sitting on the boardwalk with a funnel cake and a slice of pizza WHILE watching the show, therefore combining two of my favorite things – the Jersey Shore AND trashy reality TV? I'm not even sure I'd know what to do with myself.

Gotta go...I have techno music to blast and fists (and certainly not my own gas) to pump. I heart you, New Jersey!

MK

the year in review.

2009-12-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

There has not been a single day in 2009 that has gone by without me learning something. While the past 3 years have been a whirlwind for me, the past year has proven to me that a person never really knows their strength until it is put to the test. And 2009 my friends, was nothing short of a cumulative exam for me. I learned that the right decisions are often the hardest. That there is no such thing as “I don't have time”, there is only “I won't make time”. That doing your taxes isn't as scary as it sounds. That if you let things build up, you'll end up losing it over an empty ranch container in the fridge and making yourself look crazy. That a person's imperfections may end up being the things you absolutely adore about them. That your best friends' couch can feel like home when you're in between apartments and states. That you may think you know what you want, but once you get it, realize the grass isn't always greener. That the simplest things can make you the happiest. That there is absolutely no substitution for the calmness and happiness your own family can bring to you. That my biggest fear, the ocean, wasn't so scary once I was led to it by someone I trust. That hearts must be handled carefully and gently. That every person has their own timeline and there is no sense in trying to compare yours to someone else's. That your best friend will book your train ticket home when your father goes into the hospital, knowing all the while, you'll end up driving. That Baltimore is more charming than I could have ever imagined. That hours spent wandering aimlessly around the library or the bookstore are not even close to being wasted. That your first friends, in a school, in a city, at a job, are often the last ones still standing when everything else seems to crumble. That being selfish is perfectly fine when done in moderation. That taking risks is a necessary part of life, as scary as they are. That there is a fine line between being honest and not having tact. That taking a drive is one of the best ways to enjoy a beautiful day, regardless of the price of gas. That you can move from Virgina to Maryland in less than 3 hours and start over. That I'm the only one that knows what's truly right for me, which means sometimes tuning other's opinions out. That you can pride yourself on being routine, but you may realize you're missing out on a lot. That time can change a lot of things, whether the days fly by or the months crawl. That your best friend can move to Florida and when you see her it's as if she never left. That your own independence is just as valuable as your friends' engagements. That a good haircut and a cute pair of heels can boost any girls confidence. That spending the night out on the town with your girlfriends is still guaranteed to make you smile, but it's perfectly acceptable to use the weekend to crawl up with a book and a glass of red wine once in awhile. That people who don't believe in self improvement are often the ones who need it most. That it's never too late to start a new hobby, to do something you've always talked about doing, or to invest your time in something other than your family, friends and career. That if you keep worrying about what the future brings or where your life/relationship/career is headed, you are bound to miss out on all of the wonderful things in your life at the present moment. That more people read your blog than you realize, and even more of them relate to it. That being humbled is not a bad thing. That a 16 hour round trip in 2 days to and from Charlotte is totally worth it if it means laughing until you cry because you accidentally drove to South Carolina when you were trying to find the mall. That nothing is as earth shattering as seeing one of your parents in the hospital – the person who was always the epitome of strength, needing you to be the strong one. That a babysitting job could turn out to be the highlight of each week for you, if for nothing else than to remember what it was like to be 2 years old without a care in the world.

And most of all, I've learned that a year of ups and downs, smiles and tears, twists and turns, and change after change ends up being quite inspirational for a certain writer.

I can only imagine what 2010 will bring. Let's see whatcha got. I'm ready for it.
MK

finding a little sunshine amidst the clouds and by clouds i mean...recession.

2009-12-14T15:40:00.000-08:00

After a near 12-hour shopping marathon with my parents this past weekend, I came to a conclusion. It wasn’t nearly the headache I had expected in terms of the crowds, the salespeople were actually pleasant and helpful, and the sales were pretty good. So despite the belief that the recession has brought nothing positive, I totally disagree. The crowds were not all that different from a typical weekend at the mall. Granted the majority of the people in those crowds were still fairly unfriendly and pushy, the lack of people in the malls leads me to believe that more people are spending time at home, and hopefully together. I know a handful of people who have opted out of gifts for the family or friends altogether, while others decided to go in on one nice gift for an individual. The most common thread is that people seem eager just to spend the holidays together, which – to me – is very, very refreshing. We live in a world where we always try to be 5 steps ahead, the newest technology, the newest fashion, but we often forget to stop and just appreciate the present moment. The recession seems to have brought us to that halt, to return to appreciating family values and morals, and most of all, value that time we’re spending together.

I have worked in retail, and I have worked Black Friday, Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. These days are no piece of cake. Piles of returns, piles of holds for people who will never come back to actually purchase them, and lines of generally cranky people. The weekends before the actual holidays go the same way. While none of those things have changed, I have found that the salespeople I’ve been in contact with have been so much friendlier, more helpful, and have made my shopping experiences that much easier. They seem rather eager to accommodate, they don’t make you feel like you’re interrupting their day by asking them for help. Most of them seem happy to have a job. One of my closest friends will come close to groaning about work and then stop to correct herself that she’s just happy to have a job. We may not have our dream jobs, but there seems to be a larger awareness now that if we are receiving a regular paycheck, we are among the blessed ones. Dealing with temporary employees on a daily basis, I am well aware of the struggles that exist currently in our job market. While even last year, people were picking and choosing what they would and wouldn’t do, I hear more and more “something is better than nothing”. And that’s very true. So whether we’re in our dream job or in a job to make ends meet, it’s something.

It’s easy to get weighed down by the state of the economy and the effects it has had on everyone. I urge you to seek out the positive. If you’re in a job, perhaps you should consider that your biggest gift around the holidays. In the time we are not spending going out and shopping, getting our hair done, going out to eat, any other luxuries that people have given up…spend this time with the people that matter. Whether it’s over a (cheap) bottle (or box, for that matter) of wine, a homemade pot of coffee versus a fancy flavored latte, a home cooked meal, have a conversation face to face about something important or nothing in particular. I promise, you’ll never look back and regret the time you’ve spent appreciating the company of the ones you love.

MK

Going Green for the Holidays :)

2009-12-06T19:20:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays, friends. I decided this year to forego the postage and paper and go for an electronic holiday greeting instead.

Please take the time to read through it...there are 6 pages to click through with a short message on each. I thought this would be the best way to reach out to everyone who has come in and out of my life in the past year.

I might just be the luckiest unlucky girl in the entire world.

xoxo

MK

Make a Smilebox greeting

Facebook's Top 5 Most Annoying Couples. Gag. Me.

2009-11-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

Being held hostage in a Starbucks waiting for my car to be done with the inspection, I figured I have absolutely NO excuse NOT to blog (other than the fact that I forgot my power cord and I'm watching my battery level go down by the minute). I came across this article on thefrisky.com and had to post it. For those of you who will say this is just me, being single. It's not. I have been in relationships. In fact, I've spent the majority of my adult life thus far in relationships. And still, I do as much as possible NOT to be one of these couples. I have gone so far as to block certain individuals (even friends of mine!) from my newsfeed on facebook because of their couple/significant other related updates. Enough is enough! I'm not bitter, I'm not man-hating (or couple-hating), I'm just saying think before you update or post. Please, please, please! And for my so over-the-top-in-love friends? I love you dearly, but I'm still going to make fun of you. If you've been friends with me for this long...you know it comes with the territory.

Facebook's Top 5 Most Annoying Couples

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-five-most-annoying-facebook-couples/

For anyone who is remotely active on Facebook, you no doubt have been faced at some point with inane updates on one of your friend’s kid’s colds or how wedding-planning was coming along for one of your engaged friends. That’s why, when parenting website Babble published their list of “Facebook’s Five Most Annoying Parents,” I immediately thought, “But what about all the annoying couples?” So, without further ado, I present Facebook’s Five Most Annoying Couples, after the jump.

1. The Too-Much-In-Love Couple

Between the constant “I love my honey sooooo much!!” and “I have the most amazing husband in the whole world!!!” updates, these couples do proclaim too much. Their updates are filled with flowery adjectives and almost always include the words “amazing,” “luckiest,” and “best! ever!” Sometimes the updates are even addressed to each other, like, “Kelly, it was exactly two months ago today I met you and became the luckiest man in the universe!” or “Mark, I loved every amazing second of our beautiful weekend together!!” Don’t these people have personal email addresses? Can’t they actually speak to one another in person and leave the rest of us out of it? But, of course, all these proclamations aren’t for their benefit, they’re for ours. We’re supposed to feel jealous of their burning love for one another and their incredible luck to have found each other. Unfriend!

2. The Pathetic Couple
Outside of their relationship, this couple is miserable and empty. If either of them so much as works outside the home and they’re forced to spend eight hours apart, their updates are peppered with hourly countdowns until their end-of-the-day reunion. If one gets invited to a function without the other, they use their Facebook update to announce how unfair the world is and how nothing else in life is as important as the time they spend with each other. “I have to go to my BFF’s bachelorette party tonight, which means a whole evening without Nick! No fair!!!” How these couples ever managed to survive in the world without each other is one of the great mysteries of life.

3. The Boring Couple
It’s clear that the Boring Couple, who does nothing but constantly hang out at home, has forgotten that other people actually have fun for fun. They update with: “Excited to stay in for ‘movie and pizza night’ with the hubby!” or “Gonna cook a big dinner for wifey tonight!!” Well, hey, guess what, the rest of us are going to eat dinner at some point, too, and unless it’s enjoyed with a mentor we’ve just been granted a meal with from the Make-A-Wish foundation, it probably doesn’t warrant two exclamation points…or, you know, a status update on Facebook. These people would be more sad than annoying if they weren’t so smug about their domestic bliss.

4. The Passive-Aggressive Couple

Perhaps the biggest offender of them all, this couple hashes out their issues with one another in passive-aggressive, embarrassing, and often melodramatic updates, like “Would have gotten a lot more sleep if somebody didn’t keep me up all night with his constant farting!” or “There’s nothing I hate more than a man who can’t make up his mind which he woman he wants!” Every other day your feed is cluttered with messages that they’ve broken up or gotten back together. At least you can take comfort in knowing that they totally deserve each other.

5. The TMI Couple

A few weeks back there was a post on the website STFUMarrieds that highlighted a Facebook update from a newly married woman who wrote: “Spent last night attempting to ward off the dreaded curse of the honeymoon stage — with gallons of water and a bazillion cranberry pills.” She may as well have written: “Hey guys, I’m having tons and tons of sex! So much sex that I think I’m getting a bladder infection. And in case I wasn’t clear, I’m getting laid left and right — probably even more times than you blinked your eyes all weekend!!!!” The TMI couple clearly has something to prove and that something is the amount of sex they’re having versus the amount you’re not having, you poor soul. Let’s just hope they’re practicing great birth control, otherwise we’ll soon see them on Facebook’s Most Annoying Parents list. Unfriend.

MK

blog vacay.

2009-11-10T15:41:00.001-08:00

I'll be back, friends, but for now...a hiatus.

oooh ga-ga...

2009-11-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

I figured since I posted about what I was going to be for Halloween...I should actually let you see how it turned out...by far the most fun costume I've ever worn....

and it's official. life is way more fun when you're rocking a leotard.

on being impossible to please.

2009-11-03T11:42:00.001-08:00

"This very high score is consistently characterized by a natural restlessness, a constant need to be creative, and a profound need to constantly pursue short-term goals. Megan has so much dynamic energy and excitability that he/she will either be highly successful or become restless and frustrated, especially if sales success is obstructed or delayed by uncontrollable factors. If not given adequate coaching and training to achieve immediate success, Megan will become discouraged and seek other employment."

When I was in the interview process for my current job, I had to take a personality test and the above quote is from the results. They weren’t kidding.

I will be the first to admit that one of my biggest strengths also tends to be one of my biggest shortcomings. I’m incredibly impatient and I always want more. I’m not sure if this started in personal relationships and then carried over to work, started in school and carried over to relationships, or a combination of them all, but I still find that my biggest struggle is defining the line between bored and content. And even then, most people see content as a positive thing – the synonyms for the word are “at ease”, “pleased” and “comfortable”. My own synonyms would be along the lines of “unchallenged” or “unengaged”.

I have friends who have been in the same job since the day we graduated from college in 2006. I, on the other hand, am on to my 4th as of November 16th. That’s right, my fourth. While one of the job switches was a result of a lay-off, the other two have been – for the most part – because I no longer felt like I was being challenged. I wanted more. And maybe that’s why I’m making the switch back into staffing, besides the fact that I think I’m just plain crazy. It’s a thankless industry. But it motivates me. There is never a dull moment and if there is, something is typically wrong. To me, staffing is a constant challenge and that’s exactly what I need. I do envy some of my friends in that they have low pressure jobs, they have been coming and going to and from the same place for almost 4 years, they know what they did yesterday and what they’ll be doing tomorrow, but I’m also not sure that’s right for me. I got the chance to take on a position that would give me a little down time, fewer hours, and even (gasp) a lunch break. Ironically, I struggled to force myself to take an entire hour of my day to eat lunch. (A whole hour, do you have any idea how much I could have gotten done?)

It should come as no surprise, then, that I am the same way with relationships, except the line is even more blurry. Not once, but twice I hit the two year mark and wrestled with the question of whether I was just plain bored or whether I had hit that comfort level that a lot of other people envied. I took the comfort as a bad thing, as the moment when we stopped trying. I still question whether I ended certain relationships for the right reasons. Was I bored or was I content? Was I really ready to move on, or was I excited at the thrill of the grass being greener on the other side? More than any argument, any blow-out fight, one comment that was made to me that has still resonated is that I “never know a good thing when I have it”. And there is a huge chance that person is absolutely right.

I am fortunate and blessed to have many “good things” come my way in the form of jobs, friends, relationships and so on. In a way, I know that I have gotten to pick and choose and I also know I may not have always made the right decisions. But perhaps that’s why I always seem to pick a challenge, whether it be in a relationship or in a career choice. I do wonder if it will ever become just a curse, and not so much a blessing. But if there is one thing I’ve learned in the past couple years of recruiting its that its always better to overdo it and pull back, than to not do enough and then have to make up for it. So maybe that’s what I’m doing…making sure there isn’t any making up to do in life.

I’d like to say, at one point, I’ve done it all.

MK

check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous.

2009-10-30T06:11:00.000-07:00

My favorite holiday of the year has finally come. Halloween. It has always been my favorite, has always taken the number one spot before Christmas and I'm not even sure why, probably because it happens to take place in the fall. Regardless, I can't wait to jump into my costume (although I probably should have cut out carbs and salt for the last month...oops) and see what ideas everyone else has come up with. So what will Miss MK be prancing around in Baltimore as? None other than....Lady Gaga. (As an aside, when I tell people this, the general response has been "oh my god, that's perfect" and considering how scantily clad she usually is...I'm not sure whether to be offended or flattered.) Now I've read quite a few articles that talk about how unoriginal it is and how Lady Gaga wouldn't approve of someone basically half assing her, since few people can really go all out (who can actually figure out how to get a zipper over their eye without hurting themselves...)...and I came across this quote that she gave to MTV and it made me love her even more:

"MTV News caught up with the singer herself, who offered a list of the most essential items needed for a convincing Gaga costume. "Wigs, purple shampoo and high heels. Lots of latex. So I'm pretty excited about going out and not dressing up, because I heard that a lot of people are dressing like me," she said. "I should do some kind of, like, 'Where's Waldo?' competition? Like 'Where's Gaga?'"

I'm pretty sure the BEST form of flattery is when you know the streets are going to be full of people dressed up like you. Maybe that's just me. But one thing is for sure...I'll be making Lady Gaga proud, latex and all.

Happy (almost) Halloween!

stress express, all aboard.

2009-10-27T16:15:00.000-07:00

how can you tell I'm stressed?

I fall off the face of the earth and stop writing.

So for the time being...I liked this friendly reminder :) It has the same effect on me that my parents do when they put things in perspective for me.

"Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.”

MK

MK, the new Rachael Ray?

2009-10-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, my Dad suffered a stroke a few months ago (for those of you who didn't know, he is doing GREAT now). I was home for about 4 days while he was in the hospital and I spent most of it either at his side, or at home with Mom. My Mom has always been an amazing cook and baker. She never fails to outdo herself every single holiday, whether its Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, you name it. In fact, I've only ever seen her falter in the kitchen once. We had just spent the entire day in the hospital and were both looking forward to sitting down for a home cooked meal that was supposed to consist of turkey burgers on the grill, asparagus, and sweet potato fries. We ended up with dry turkey burgers, crispy asparagus, and black sweet potato fries. So we laughed and, in a typical Deasy woman fashion, decided to drink our dinner instead because, as it turns out, you can't burn red wine. A lot of people stop cooking once they're faced with a crisis, especially a family related one – a sickness, a hospital visit, or even a death. Meals together tend to turn to ordering in or eating whatever casserole the neighbors had dropped off the day before. But instead, my Mom chose to cook. So while it may not have been her best performance in the kitchen, the entire fiasco took our minds totally off the whole reason I was home in the first place – Dad being in the hospital.

I truly learned to cook when I moved to Baltimore. I lived alone, in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, with enough money to put gas in my car and pay my rent. Needless to say, I didn't have much of a social life. So instead, I cooked. I hear a lot of single people say they don't cook because there isn't a point in cooking for one. I disagree. Cooking is therapeutic on so many levels. As I have written before, I love doing things for other people, especially giving gifts. Since my bank account has seen better days, I've had to find alternative ways to make the favorite people in my life smile and what better way than to present them with a home cooked meal or a freshly baked dessert? (Although, I must say, I feel like I'm cheating a bit...I work with almost all guys and what guy will turn down something that might resemble food that came out of their Mom's kitchen? Answer: no guy.) But even when I'm not pushing my culinary creations on someone else, the entire process is “my time”. I take the time to flip through my cookbooks and magazines to find what I'm going to take and go to the store with my list in hand. I get home, lay all of my ingredients in front of me, and start the process. (As an aside, cooking also makes you MUCH more aware of what you put in your body. And if a homemade recipe requires those ingredients, times them by about 5 to get the restaurant recipe and you may think twice next time you sit down to order out.)

The end results isn't always a success. I once attempted this recipe and my 30-minute meal quickly became an hour plus. I argued (outloud...seriously) with the pizza dough, realized I didn't have a rolling pin so I floured a beer bottle and used that instead, and was left with something that vaguely resembled the picture on the recipe, only with about 3 pounds of extra dough around it. (Ironically, this was the only time in the last 2 years of my life when having "extra dough" was ever a problem.) But there are few things as satisfying as sitting down to eat a meal that you've just spent the last hour making. And I'm not talking sit down in front of the TV with your plate on the coffee table. I'm saying sit down at your big girl kitchen table, put your napkin on your lap, turn off the TV, and enjoy your meal.

A lot of people I know are intimidated of cooking or they don't know where to start. It still amazes me that my Mom managed to come up with a different meal for every day of the week for the 18 years I grew up on her cooking. I always thought it was just a special Mom skill that one eventually acquires. In fact, I'm still hoping for that. But in reality, there is nothing to be scared of. What's the worst that can happen – you either find out you can follow directions on a recipe, or you find out that maybe Chicken Cordon Bleu isn't really your strong point. I promise that once you get a few recipes under your belt, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment and want to try more. And where to start? Wherever you want! Mom didn't get that mental encyclopedia of recipes by staying out of the kitchen, that's for sure. Do I suggest trying to tackle the most complicated recipe you can find for your first attempt? Not really. But there are a lot of cook books that require less than 10 (some less than 5) ingredients and don't use culinary jargon that you have to refer to a dictionary to understand. So whether you want to entertain others, need to get your mind off a bad work day, or even just kill a couple of hours...you may be surprised at how much a little time in the kitchen can help.

And if all else fails...just remember...there isn't anything that can't be fixed with a bottle of red wine and some good company. (Love ya Mom!)

MK

generation rude.

2009-10-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

In every (big girl) job I've had, I've been the baby of the department and/or company so I know enough about the ups and downs of Generation Y in and out of the workplace. While I agree with most of the generalizations, there are a few that I see first hand as a Gen Y-er and a handful of them that I'm guilty of as well. So pay attention fellow babies, because you be guilty as charged too...

1. Not RSVPing or making concrete plans. I put this one first because it drives me up a wall. Whether you get an invitation in the mail or an evite, the person who sent it deserves a timely response. Take, for example, my roommates upcoming party. It's for a good cause, was sent in PLENTY of time, and yet still a HUGE number of people haven't RSVPed. Why? Because we are unsure if something better will come along and don't want to feel locked into plans. Please, do everyone (especially the party planner) a favor, and get over yourself. If you RSVP yes, then show up. If you RSVP no, then good for you for actually taking the time to respond. Same goes for making plans, trying to get people to attend an organized event, or god forbid organize birthday activities. Bottom line, not RSVPing shows a lack of respect for the planner. It shows that you think their event isn't that important, they aren't putting that much time into it, and that the possibility that you might have something else come up is more important. It doesn't make you look popular, it makes you look rude.

2. Passing up the handwritten thank you note for an email. As a recruiter, I'm shocked at the amount of thank you emails I receive over the amount of handwritten thank you notes that I receive. I'm pretty sure this one of the first things they taught me at the Elon Career Center and it has yet to fail me. You want to make an impression on an employer, show them that you are willing to go the extra steps down to the little details. To me, there is nothing as impersonal as an email, regardless of how well written it is. You are essentially thanking someone for their time by showing them that you choose not to take the time to write out a thank you card. I mean...really?

3. On the same topic of e-mail...we have completely given up on proper grammar and spelling. We've been spoiled by grammar and spell check, which ends up missing a fair amount of mistakes. We decide to write in all lowercase letters, ignore question marks and replace all punctuation with periods. God forbid all of the computers in the world shut down and we actually have to fend for ourselves (ie sound out words and diagram a few sentences). Taking a grammar course my senior year in college was a rude awakening, if only it was mandatory for everyone, everywhere.

4. We have forgotten how to "date". My Mom insists that I should be dating frequently, and by that she actually means "being courted". And my response is the same every time..."Mom, no one actually does that anymore." Nope, instead, we get asked out on dates via gchat and anxiously await a text after hanging out. Someone recently suggested "we do an old school date and do dinner and a movie." If thats old school, I shudder to think what new school is (while I simultaneously wonder if "new school" is actually a phrase...welp it is now)? My guess is meeting up at the bar, followed by a possible late night rendezvous. How romantic. Ask some guys to plan an actual date and you'd think you just asked them to rope the moon. We lowered our own standards...but wonder how that "butterflies" feeling faded so quickly.

5. I think the above point lends itself to this one...we have a warped sense of a normal relationship. Half or more of our parents are divorced, some even more than once. We see people marry for the wrong reasons and have children for even worse reasons. And most common amongst my friends (and previously myself), is that we cohabitate before marriage. While in theory, this is an excellent way for us to test the waters, for some it only pushes marriage off more because why change something that's working? If living together and playing house is working, why deal with the expensive wedding and lifelong commitment right now? When people asked me what I would do if things didnt work out with the boyfriend I was moving in with, I replied "move out." It didn't occur to me that some wouldnt think that was an option, since to them, moving in with someone was as good as getting married. I think, generally, our views on relationships go to the extremes -- if it doesnt work, we'll just get a divorce....or I absolutely refuse to marry until I know that it is 100% bliss with that person because I saw my parents get divorced/fight/etc and I don't believe in doing that. What happened to relationship being something we acknowledge we have to work at, while not writing them off as too difficult to deal with?

Maybe it's time for us to take a step back, acknowledge that we don't know it all, and take a few cues from other generations. We get so caught up in the next version of the iPhone and the newest reality show, that we tend to forget the staples of our lives, the things that matter -- our careers, and our relationships with friends and loved ones. Try asking your parents or grandparents for a few pieces of their best advice that they've learned through the years. Turns out, they tend to know what they're talking about.

MK

falling in love all over again.

2009-10-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

I saw this quote on Lacey's Blog and adored it so much that I had to share it...only to realize that it inspired me to expand on something that happened to me last night...when I fell in love, again. So first the quote, then my confession...

"People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily- that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve…I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my children. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and Dr. Pepper. I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either…I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong. Love looks good on me." -Natalie Anne Erlanson-

I fell in love last night, with the city, as I drove in from 95. I used to come in that way every day after work or when I traveled up from VA, but haven't done it in quite some time and I forgot how beautiful it looks. It was a last minute decision, it was a nice night for a drive - the first night the temperature had really fallen and it got dark around seven. For a city that bears so much heartache between the crime and the poverty, there are moments when it charms me so much I feel like I want to cry. I'm not from here, I can't claim to have a local pride, but this city took me in right when I needed it to, it gave me a home and the sidewalks beneath me suddenly became my moral support not once, but twice. If I close my eyes, and think of Baltimore I see rowhomes stacked up against each other, purple lights strung down the handrails of the front steps in the fall. I think summers anywhere are easy, carefree, but it's city winters that pushed me to be stronger. I think back on walks to the Square, teeth chattering and without a jacket, to avoid holding it for the rest of the night. I could see my breath before me in the cold, friends at my side, heading to the same place we were at the night before, and the weekend before that, and the same place we'd go for weekends to come. I had found a sense of routine that I had once imagined never being able to find again. The few trees within the city are bare, and its then that you realize that the beauty isn't in a perfect landscape, a fenced in yard, a two car garage. You see it shining through stadium lights, rushing across the street before the light changes, written across the skyline. Though I never considered myself a city person, one who prefers concrete over grass, I still find myself drawn back after a day away, feeling like I'm missing out on something, strangely calmed but illuminated by the sounds and lights of this city. This city never claimed to be New York, Chicago, Philadelphia. The lights may be dimmer, the scale much smaller, with Believe stickers plastered over every bus stop and street sign. And maybe that's why I fell in love. Because I was missing something, what felt like everything, and wasn't sure how to get back on my feet again after a self-inflicted uproot from everything I had known. And here it was, a city that single-handedly matured me, startled me and empowered me all at once. A city that believed I would eventually realize that if you can get to St. Paul, Charles Street, Pratt or Lombard, you can find your way home, no matter where you live. I don't fall in love too easily, in fact, I should probably let myself fall in love more, but when I do...I fall hard. And lucky me, to fall in love - more than once - with a city that took me in and watched me as I found my way home.

MK

anything less than the best is a felony.

2009-10-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

It's a long one...so find a comfy place and grab your coffee :)

A phrase that often gets thrown around during the 20’s and 30’s phase is “settling down”. To some, the phrase brings a sense of calmness, routine and optimism about the future, to others it brings a sense of panic, claustrophobia or just plain fear. Afterall, you can’t use the phrase without including the word “settling”. I have been called selfish, heartless, cold, and even icy by a few of my exes. While I’m sure at one time or another, I was one or more of those things, I wouldn’t say on the whole I’m any of them. I think that I, simply, have refused to settle. That’s not to say I haven’t settled in terms of relationships in the past by staying in them longer than I should have, but on a permanent (ie marriage) scale, I have – more than once – refused to settle. By no means is this a reflection on any of my exes. They’re wonderful guys. Just not the right wonderful guys for me. I could have had a few years of married life under my belt right now, or be planning my wedding along with a handful of my other girlfriends, if I had wanted that. I knew that I could marry a great guy and be fine. But I wanted, and still do want, more than that. Suddenly, I see people deciding that its their time to settle down, rather than deciding they have met the person they want to settle down with. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic (side note: I’m not.), but putting timing over actual feelings when it comes to marriage seems a biiiit backwards to me.

I think most people relate settling with surface value things – looks, money, etc. but I think it goes far deeper than that. I think that in order to not settle, we must get to know ourselves fully. How can we expect to find someone who will love everything about us, down to the quirks and imperfections, if we don’t even know those things about ourselves? I think once we step into a little clarity on our own beliefs, morals, and character, it is then that we can figure out who will accept and complement those things. Self-realization isn’t easy. I have learned this, especially over the past two years. It’s not always fun, it’s often hard, it involves admitting your faults, and learning from your mistakes. I truly do not think enough 20-somethings take the time to learn what makes them who they are. I know that each day we grow and change as people, but I think a significant amount of our change in our lives happens in our 20s. So I think it’s especially important to not only really figure out who you are and who you want to be, but to find someone who grants you a mutual respect to any future changes. Who sees you for who you are right now, and shares the same vision of who you will evolve into over time, a more realized version of yourself.

The first thing I did upon realizing that I was truly single for the first time in…quite awhile…was read a few books on what being single really means. I know it sounds horribly cheesy, but I wasn’t really sure where to start and I have to say, I’m glad that I did it because it turned out to be rather empowering. It was the best reminder that I need to consistently work on my relationship with myself and the rest will follow. I see women around me lose themselves in their relationships, mostly because they didn’t know who they were prior to getting into one. Their identity is their relationship. I have been guilty of this in the past, without a doubt. But I will never forget the feeling after that breakup, like someone had just knocked the wind out of me, and I was left feeling empty for months to come, never really feeling quite like myself. And how could I feel like myself when I had become that relationship? It took over a year, but finally I realized that I never wanted to be in a relationship that would take me with it when it ended. Of course, no one envisions a relationship ending when they are getting into one, but I know now that you can plan all you want, things will usually never go quite accordingly, so above all, make sure you can remain standing if everything around you happens to fall. I think losing oneself, or being with someone because you’re scared of being alone are both two of the most common forms of settling. You are cheating yourself – you aren’t finding out your true potential as an individual, and you aren’t giving yourself the benefit of the doubt that you will find a person who truly suits you as a whole to spend the rest of your life with. Everyone around you is getting married, so you feel like you should be too. Why? Give yourself the benefit of the doubt that it will happen when you meet the right person, not when you feel like you’re at the right age.

Trust your instincts. If you still have a wandering eye, and the thought of commitment still makes you clam up…chances are, it’s not right, at least not right now. On the other end of that, if your significant other can’t go out without you having a panic attack that they have a wandering eye, leaving you calling them in 5 minute intervals until they pick up (a signature MKD move circa 2007, that I’m proud to say I’ve retired)...it may be time to reevaluate the state of your relationship. I also think women especially tend to meet a guy that their friends and family like, who doesn’t necessarily do anything wrong, but they just don’t feel that click. Something is missing that they can’t quite put their finger on, but they ignore it because he is handsome, polite, financially stable, good natured, mature, whatever it may be. My Mom pushed for a boyfriend of mine because he treated me so well, and I had to remind her that yes, ANY boyfriend should be treating me well, that doesn’t mean he’s the right one for me. There are plenty of good guys out there…doesn’t mean you have to take the first one that comes along.

Do what truly makes you happy, you owe that to yourself. No one said you even have to get married. I have plenty of friends who live with their significant others and are perfectly happy the way things are. Friends with 2 year engagements, friends who married after knowing each other a few months. Friends who waited until they were in their 30's for 40's to tie the knot. Friends who have no intentions of ever getting married. Only you know what is right for you, even if it is totally unconventional to everyone else.

I am extremely fortunate to have dated such wonderful guys that have helped me figure out what I want and what I don’t want (I would like to think I’ve done the same for them…more so on the “do want” list…). For a variety of reasons, it wasn’t right but on both ends, neither of us settled for something that wouldn’t make us the best version of ourselves.

Because that’s exactly what it comes down to. Find the person who brings out the best in you, can get you through the worst, and will be there to watch you grow and mature into something even better.

It’s at that point that you’ll be settling down, instead of just plain settling.

MK

taking inventory on your life. (an exercise in becoming rut-free.)

2009-10-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

At one time or another, you’ll be stuck in a rut. Whether it’s career, relationship or just life in general, a rut of some sort in your lifetime is pretty inevitable. I’ve been in a few different types of ruts for a number of reasons, some short and some long and I feel as though I have finally gotten to a point where I recognize what I need to do to either prevent me from getting to that point, or to get me out once I’m in one.

First and foremost, get out of the house. Yes, it is much easier to sleep the time away, to forget about work, friends, relationships, anything when you’re isolating in your room, but I promise that it won’t make you feel any better. Whether it is exercising or socializing, it will have a positive effect on you. The hardest part is getting yourself out the door, but I promise you won’t say to yourself that you wish you hadn’t worked out, or wish you hadn’t gone out with your friends. Fresh air can work wonders. And if you really are that miserable, it comes down to either being miserable alone, or at least being miserable among friends, and I think most would choose the latter.

Second, work through your emotions, instead of repressing them. If you simply try to bypass them and not deal with things, chances are you’ll end up right where you started…in another rut! If you’re dealing with a job you don’t like, take the time to figure out what exactly it is about the job that is making you unhappy. You may even find that it’s not the job after all, perhaps it’s something in your personal life that is carrying over into your work life. In that case, no matter how many jobs you change, you’re still going to wind up unhappy (and with a lengthy, choppy resume) because you never truly got to the root of what the issue was. Going hand in hand with working through your emotions is taking inventory of your life – items, relationships, friendships, your job. Figure out what needs to stay and what needs to go. What do you value the most, and what might be weighing you down? Not only will this help you de-clutter your life (thus simplifying it..) but once you start running through your friends, you may realize you’re not so alone after all. In taking inventory, make sure to surround yourself with positive people. Everyone knows a Debbie Downer, whether it’s at work, a family member, or a friend. They rarely have anything positive to say, and usually have a negative response when someone else attempts to be positive. You may not realize how toxic they are to your own happiness. Positivism (yes it’s a word, yes I looked it up) breeds positivism, and I feel negativity works the same way. It’s frustrating to have a person like this in your life because it is our nature to want to make our loved ones happy, and it becomes exhausting trying to please someone who is essentially impossible. Focus your energy elsewhere, you may find yourself less stressed.

While realizing what has gotten you to your rut can be a moment of clarity, it can also be overwhelming. It may not be just one thing. It may be a combination of a lot of things. But the only thing you can do (while remaining sane, at least) is to take things one at a time. I think the best way to track progress is through writing (shocker, I know). But you would be surprised once you start journaling, how much you see yourself change. It gives you a chance to express yourself, while also giving you the motivation to continue to change the things that make you unhappy. If you can see that over 6 months you have finally started to feel like yourself again after a bad breakup, you will probably have more confidence in tackling the next item on your list.

And finally, what I believe to be the two most important things: stop making excuses and start saying yes. I think these are probably also the two hardest things to do. We tend to make excuses for everything and even often make excuses for other people’s behavior. One of the most common excuses that I see, and have often made myself, is reasons we are not taking care of ourselves. I was going to go to the gym, but I had to work late, I can’t afford a gym membership and I don’t like working out in alternative ways, eating healthy is too expensive, I don’t have time to cook so fast food is easier, the list goes on. When it comes down to it, if we really wanted to work out, to eat healthy, to change jobs, to end a bad relationship…we would. There are 24 usable hours in a day, we have time, we just don’t make time. Just saying yes is something that I have recently started doing, and it’s a welcomed change. (If you REALLY wanted to go to extremes with this, go see the movie “Yes Man”, although I don’t necessarily recommend following his lead…). When faced with a question or an opportunity, ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen”? Chances are the worst that can happen is that you go out and have a good time, you get some interview experience under your belt, you go on a fun date, you get out of the house, you make new friends, you try something you’ve never done before. If that is the worst that can happen, just imagine the best. Push yourself out of your comfort zone, and if you won’t do it, ask your friends to drag you out of it. Think about why you are saying no, why you’re turning down a chance to go out, to interview for a new job, to ask for a promotion. Is it a legitimate answer, or are you making an excuse? It’s not always an easy realization, but I believe that once you start coming to terms with it, you’ll take more accountability for your actions (or lack thereof).

There is not one thing that gets you into a rut, and not one that gets you out. But even if you get stuck in a rut, try all of these things and none of them work…what’s the worst thing that happened?

MK

you can stand under my umbrella.

2009-10-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

Mondays are enough of a headache, but put dealing with the bank on top of it and you have one of the worst combinations ever. This morning I opened my online bank account to see the following: they had charged me twice for a monthly bill, overdrafted my account, and then billed 200 dollars to a maxed out credit card for my over draft protection. It is moments like this, that I can’t help but think that Murphy’s Law truly does exist. At the same time, is Murphy’s law something that we inflict in ourselves by letting things get the best of us? For example, after the bank fiasco, I found out that my first interview didn’t show up and the office ran out of coffee. Normally, I don’t think I would 1. be that surprised and 2. feel like my week had officially gotten off to the worst start in history. But because I’ve convinced myself that it’s a bad week…it seems that I notice the bad over the good in every situation. So this is where the power of positive thinking comes in. At the very least, I need to remind myself that eventually things have to go up. One thing, as corny as it sounds, that I’ve tried to do recently, is to balance out every downfall with something positive that’s happened to me or that I have in my life. So yes, my Monday started off horrendously, but I’m also coming off a great weekend spent with friends and family. For every streak of bad luck, I know that I have a streak of good luck somewhere and I think it’s important to focus on that, before you inflict a snowball effect on yourself. And at the end of the day, chances are, it’s nothing that I haven’t been through before. I got through it once or twice, and I’ll do it again…and hopefully will be writing a book about it in the near future. So I think it only pours when you let it pour. I think there comes a time when you need to take it into your own hands, at least forecast some sunshine in there, even if its just peeking through the clouds. And above all, just make sure you have a very cute umbrella.

MK

Happy Birthday, Dana!

2009-09-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take today to dedicate a little post to one of my nearest and dearest friends, Dana Ashley Schrenk, who celebrated her 26th birthday yesterday! We have been through elementary, grade school, and then college together, and still remain the best of friends to this day. Why do I love her so much? Because she is truly...one of a kind. We're talking about a girl who posed nude for a college art project (done VERY tastefully so, might I add), only to have her pictures displayed in the good old Elon Belk library. She doesn't care what anyone thinks, and she has fun. She is honest, hard working, and hilarious. She has oddly long toes, and plugs her nose when she goes into the pool by using her upper lip (I couldnt make this up if I tried...Kelly, you are probably laughing outloud right now.) When I would ask her over for a play date when we were younger, she would simply reply "I have to check my schedule". During the summer that we lived together in college, brief periods of time would pass when I considered checking to make sure she was still alive because she spent at least half the summer in bed, watching Sex & The City DVDs, eating gummies, and planning dinner parties. She is a jet setter, familiar with a handful of different cultures, never conforming to just one or the other. She is one of the most genuine people I know. She regifts everything, which is why I received an old wedding favor as a Christmas present, plus the free gift you get when you spend a certain amount at Clinique, and I cannot forget the..interesting...makeup samples. (I'll add that in addition to that, she also hand made me a recipe book, packed with my favorite recipes!!) She loves to entertain and help others, and she is more like her Mom than she will probably ever admit. I could go on...and on...and on...but instead, I thought a picture montage may do her a liiiiitle more justice. Happy Birthday, Dana Ashley!! I love you! XoXoXo

haha this picture seriously never gets old...

I'd like to thank the Academy...

2009-09-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

What a way to start my Friday…with an award from a fellow fab blogger, Lacey! I adore her blog, so I was excited that she felt mine was deserving of the Kreativ award! The way this works is…I list 7 facts about me…and then award 7 others. So here goes…

1. The first time I read “To Kill A Mockingbird” I knew that I wanted to read everything else I could get my hands on, and write until my hands cramped up.

2. My favorite board game to play is Cranium, but I will only play when teamed with Dana Ashley, a long time best friend. We’re so good, some of our friends refuse to play with us anymore!

3. The first thing I think about as soon as I open my eyes in the morning is how much time will pass before I can take my first sip of coffee. Seriously. This is what I get for being raised by a father who was in the coffee industry.

4. I have dance parties in the car on the reg, whether I’m with people or not. You can’t dance in the car and not be happy. Try it.

5. I refuse to be in a picture by myself. I consider myself to be an awkward person by nature, and I feel solo pictures just emphasize the awkwardness.

6. As noted in one of my entries, I love attention but, coincidentally, am awful at accepting compliments. My response usually involves something along the lines of “shut up.” It’s nothing personal.

7. I loathe Beyonce as a person, but secretly listen to her music.

And my 7 award winners (aside from the award giver's blog)…congrats! I hope you will pass on the award too!

So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young

Alli Walker

Misadventures of pug(s) and bugg

Finding my place in this world

Just a little thing called life

20-nothings

Patterson Park Patter

So check them out and enjoy!

MK

Happy Birthday, Kyle Fleischmann

2009-09-24T05:49:00.000-07:00

By no means, was I best friends with Kyle Fleischmann. There are plenty of people who are much closer to him than I ever was. He and I lived next door to each other for two years in college, shared a lot of mutual friends, and I got him his job at Maxim Healthcare in Charlotte. That doesn't change the fact that I felt like I had the rug swept from under me when he went out one night almost 2 years ago and never came back. There are very few days that go by that I don't try to understand how someone can just dissapear, as if they were never there to begin with, showing absolutely no traces of anything. It makes you stop for a second, and reassure yourself that yes, I knew him, I saw him, I have physically stood next to him, he exists. Kyle's dissapearance has instilled in me a fear that I don't know I'll ever shake. It sends me into a tailspin when I know my friends have gone out the night before and I can't get a hold of them the next day, and I'm sure it will haunt me in the future, when kids of my own roll their eyes at me for being overprotective and overbearing. It isn't something I have come to accept, just yet. I remember for the year that I was at Maxim after Kyle had dissapeared, his name would sometimes accidentally autopopulate into my emails, and there was something slightly reassuring about the fact that they still kept his name in the directory. But what do you do when the only information you've got to deal with the situation is the last bar and pizza place he was seen at? Do you come to terms with possibly never knowing what happened, or do you wake up every day and - in the back of your mind - believe that this might be the day we find something out? Most people I know that knew Kyle have acknowledged the fact that the chances of us seeing a day when he's found, alive and well, are slim to none. But I think most of us still have a glimmer of hope that someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, we'll know something, anything.

I have posted Kyle's story, as well as some information about the Kyle Fleischmann Foundation. He is not the first person to go missing, and he won't be the last, but I think that the Foundation his friends and family have started is giving a voice to a lot of other cases that may have gone unnoticed.

So today, Kyle's birthday, I hold his friends and family close to my heart.

Kyle's Story

Kyle Fleischmann grew up in Charlotte, NC and was one of three children of Barbara and Richard Fleischmann. A kind and caring young man, he graduated in 2002 from Charlotte Catholic High School and in 2006 from Elon University where he majored in business administration. At Elon, he was an officer of the Kappa Alpha Order and a volunteer with the Special Olympics and the Boys and Girls Club. When he disappeared, Kyle was working at Maxim Healthcare Services in Charlotte. He was last seen leaving Buckhead Saloon in uptown Charlotte around 2:20 a.m. on Nov. 9 and has not been seen or heard from since.

The sudden disappearance of Kyle Fleischmann on Nov. 9, 2007 led his family and friends to turn their tragedy into an educational opportunity so that others would know where to go for help and information in the critical first days of a person’s disappearance.
At around 2:25am Kyle was seen buying pizza at Fuel Pizza at the uptown location. Anyone who was there on Nov. 9th and has any information, please call Crime Stoppers.

Chivalry is free, thus recession proof, thus...DO IT.

2009-09-23T10:33:00.000-07:00

A fabulous penpal of mine sent me an article from TheFrisky.com...a site that I am now, full blown, obsessed with. Naturally, I wanted to share. I adore this list because I adore chivalry. I don't belive it's dead, but I do think that way too much of it has gone by the wayside. So, boys, take notes...(and for the boys who are interested in me? Take special note of #1, 3, and 4...and 2 and 5. Just tryin to help a guy out.)

Chivalry Is Not Dead! Plus, It’s Free!

Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-five-easy-free-chivalrous-moves-to-get-the-girl/

Note: Sometimes when a guy isn’t being chivalrous, he’s really just being a wimp, isn’t into you, and is blowing you off. However, other times he does really like you, but is being LAZY. Be confident in his feelings before having the following expectations. Because if you can safely conclude he’s probably blowing you off, you should get over his butt, fast. The lazy ones, on the other hand, can be changed, if you stand up for expect these five examples of chivalry.

1. TEXT BACK: I’m hardly a text message stalker, though after IM, it is my favorite method of communication. I expect a man to text me back, regardless of whether he is busy with work or watching a sports game. I don’t need an epic novel in reply, because chances are I was just sayin’ hi, but acknowledging my outreach is only fair. It’s rude not to. Exceptions are always made for dead batteries and emergencies, of course. Bad moods? You only get one or two passes for that. Don’t be a baby. Be a man. I’ll care about your bad mood when it isn’t affecting your gentlemanly treatment of me.

2. GIVE ADVANCE NOTICE: Not to steal a page from The Rules, but I like dates to be scheduled in advance. I’m a busy lady—I will make plans if I don’t hear from you. And if I don’t hear from a dude until the last minute, it makes me think that he thinks I’m sitting around, always ready to meet up with him. That pisses me off. The spur of the moment date is awesome in ADDITION, but it should not replace the practice of calling many days in advance and suggesting a day to hang out. I’m no sexist, however—I think women should instigate dates as well, as often, and with the same respect.

3. HAVE A PLAN: Whoever is “in charge” of that planned-in-advance-date, should actually MAKE a plan. Take charge, show you’ve thought about what might make a good time for the two of you. Hanging out and watching crap TV is fun sometimes, but it should not replace actually, you know, dating. That is not to say dates must be expensive. My last relationship (the ex-fiance) was great with the super pricey dinner dates, but was utterly uncreative when it came to anything else. Frankly, I’d much rather a fully-planned date of free or cheap activities than a $300 meal devoid of ingenuity, but I’m not getting either right now from ol’ Chicken Parm and it is getting OLD.

4. WEEKS AND WEEKENDS: Both are important. So are nights and days. Mix it up. If a guy only wants to hang out after 10pm at night on Wednesdays, you gotta wonder what the hell he’s doing during the day and evening (is he a vampire?) or on the weekends (dating someone who’s graduated to the next level of dating?).

5. LATENESS & RUDENESS, UNACCEPTABLE, ALMOST ALWAYS: Usually lateness can be prevented. Think about it. You wake up 30 minutes after your alarm went off. You hustle to get to work on time anyway don’t you? People you’re dating deserve the same respect and commitment. The occasional bit of lateness I can excuse and I’m always happy to hear an explanation, but reoccurring lateness is a sign that your kindness is being taken advantage of, that he is being lazy in the courtesy department, and is counting on your inclination to forgive and his charm to get him out of hot water. Forget that. If he’s usually late NOW, imagine how late he’ll be in six months, or in three years when you’re having a baby and have to drive yourself to the hospital because he forgot to check his watch.

Likewise, a chivalrous gentleman should always think about how his tone and his attitude might be taken, whether or not it reflects his intentions. When I’m busy at work, and someone IMs me or calls me to chat, I might be a little irritated that I’m being bothered, but I’m always courteous and polite in my response. “I’d love to chat with you about this, but I’m in the middle of something important at work. Can I call you later?” takes only about three more seconds to type than just, “Busy.”

At the end of the day, chivalry is about one thing—pulling your head out of your own “busy,” “over-worked, “moody” hiney for just a second to think about how your actions might be interpreted by the other person. If you care about them, tweaking your actions just the slightest bit so that it takes their feelings into account, is easy, worth the effort, and will pay off BIG TIME.

MK

the first step is admitting I have an (expensive) problem.

2009-09-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

It’s time for me to admit it. I have a problem. A shopping problem. I joke about this often, but after this weekend, I can’t deny it anymore. I’m in debt because I shopped, but I shop because I’m depressed about being in debt. It’s a perpetual cycle, and an expensive one at that. I have already cut up my cards months ago, called my credit cards to ask them for lower APRs, which most of them were fine to give (nevermind that it was right after I was laid off, therefore I may or may not have started crying while talking to the customer service rep at Victoria’s Secret, but that’s neither here nor there). You know that scene in Confessions of a Shopaholic where she freezes her credit cards in a block of ice so that she can’t use them (see: pictures of the fit of spending rage I have provided here.)? I wish I could do that to my hands. Cutting up my cards did nothing for me, and I don’t want to close my accounts because that isn’t great for my credit and I can use all the help I can get. (For the record, I don’t have bad credit, I pay on time, and every month, its just those awful…high…balances.) So I trot on into the stores, try on things that I don’t need and occasionally don’t even really want very much, and politely tell them that I’ve forgotten my credit card and need them to look it up. And bam, there I go, bags in hand, with a wave of buyers remorse that doesn’t last long enough for me to keep the tags on the clothes and return them.

It doesn’t stop there. Because once you buy cute clothes, you then need places to wear them to. So as I’m convincing myself that I need this new sweater, jacket, shirt, pair of jeans, pair of shoes, etc I’m simultaneously thinking of where I can go to show them off. (Some would say talented, others would say counterproductive.) Some people hate shopping, I love it. To me, it’s quality alone time, it’s relaxing, and it temporarily boosts my confidence in myself once I’m thinking about my great clothes and how much fun I’ll have going the places that I now have to go to show off my new, great clothes. And then the end of the month comes, and so do the statements. The worst part is, I’m not a designer snob, I’m far from it. So all I have to show for my ridiculous spending is a mediocre collection of clothes that will only last through a season’s worth of washing and drying, two seasons at best. Sigh.

So what’s a girl to do? Giving up the habit isn’t as easy as it sounds. I’ve looked into buying a book on controlling compulsive shopping, but then realize that, too, seems counterproductive…to spend money on a book about compulsive shopping (I realize I can check it out from the library, but you get the idea). I often shop on the weekends because I’m “cutting costs” by skipping out on going out with friends to eat, to the bar, to the movies…only to spend more money than I would have had I just gone with them. My first step is to get a 2nd form of income. I meet a family tomorrow that I could potentially babysit for every Saturday and a few nights a week to bring in around 450 extra bucks a month. I’m keeping my fingers crossed because the idea of going back into retail is enough to put me on suicide watch, and the thought of bartending or waitressing sends me into a whirlwind of social anxiety.

The other step, as corny as it sounds, is just admitting it. It’s coming face to face with how much I owe, how long it’ll take me to get through it, and figure out what steps I need to take towards being relatively debt free (I don’t really believe anyone in my generation will be TOTALLY debt free, but that’s just me.) I literally day dream about the day that I’m not spending 90% of my income on credit card bills and rent checks. Naturally, in those day dreams I’m well dressed in new clothes (that I bought in CASH).

Some nights I lose sleep over it, other days I can just feel it in the back of my mind weighing me down. And if there is one thing my parents taught me, especially concerning financial issues, that’s “take it day by day…because that’s all you can do.” Don’t get overwhelmed with the big picture, focus on the small victories (ie slightly more than minimum payments) you’re making.

Set any embarrassment aside, swallow your pride and remember that there are plenty of people out there in the same position you are, if not worse. You may be barely making ends meet, but they’re meeting. And things are just things, clothes are just clothes. If you have your health, what more can you ask for?

Although, speaking of... I can’t really afford my healthcare anymore either but that’s an entirely different story… : )

WWKCD?

2009-09-18T06:42:00.000-07:00

The Hills - MTV Shows

I must admit, my obsession with The Hills had died down a little. I’m not a huge Lauren Conrad fan, and I can only take so much of Audrina’s teeth/sleepy eye combo and Heidi’s…everything. But when I heard that Kristin Cavalleri was making a comeback to the show, it was like a little present had been sent down from God. I have always been a KCav fan, ever since Laguna first aired. Perhaps because she’s interesting, or perhaps because I think we’d be best friends if we actually met. Minor details. Yes, she’s a bitch (I prefer the term “honest”, personally, but whatever works). But you have to give her credit for simultaneously making people fear her, wrapping guys around her finger, and still being the fun girl that everyone wants to hang out with. It’s like the trifecta of evil. And it sure is entertaining. (Plus you can't leave out the solid 15 minutes of every 23 minute episode that consists solely of shots of people looking at each other. Dirty looks, sad looks, happy looks, romantic looks, it's one big montage, every single episode.)

I recognize that nothing about The Hills is real (and ohh is that an understatement for Heidi Montag). But it is as if the producers were sitting there thinking “What would MK want to see?”…and then they made Spencer wear a giant cowboy hat for the entire season, sent Holly Montag in all her pre-wedding speech beligerance to rehab, and staged an argument between KCav and Audrina (in which Audrina is either so drunk that her eyes are halfway rolled back in her head…or that’s just the way she looks. Pretty sure it’s the latter). And Justin Bobby…in his unshowered, unshaven, on-so-many-drugs-that-he-believes-he’s-philosophical-when-he-speaks glory. Throw in Jayde drinking straight from her Yager bottle, Stephanie Pratt stating that her hamster grew into a gerbil, and….is that the Stacie, evil bartender that I see Kristin hanging out with? Per.fect. I must admit, the only things I’ll miss about Lauren are her mustache and her constantly raspy voice from going out the night before.

So who would my "dream team" be for a cast of The Hills....

Kristin -- maneater, boyfriend stealer, life ruiner.
Alex H -- For the sole purpose of watching she and Kristin gang up on...
Jessica -- in her miserable, miserable glory for being THAT girl.

Spencer's hat -- because it's awesome.
Jason -- so I can see him go head to head with his female counterpart, KCav.
Whitney -- so she can follow other people around and repeat exactly what they say, all while adding a K at the end of any words that actually end with a G (as originally pointed out by IBBB, but is so very, very accurate.)
Holly Montag -- so she can give more speeches at formal events while in a totally beligerant state.

Talan -- Where did he go? I want to watch him follow Kristin around some more. It's so...sweet....and pathetic.

Stephen -- Rosacea aside, he's still a cutie. Plus you can't have Kristin without the "Steph-ennnnn".

Elodie -- (Dianna Rich, that one's for you.)

And finally....Lauren's mustache (pictured below. Seriously)

I only wish I was half as funny as my most favorite blogger in the ENTIRE WORLD, http://imbringingbloggingback.blogspot.com/ (RIP, moment of silence…he no longer blogs) so that I could recap the new season, but I just may give it a go anyway, we’ll see.

In the meantime…I’ll just keep asking myself…WWKCD? (What would KCav do…clearly.) Although, I’m pretty sure that’s a dangerous question.

The bitch is back…September 29th!

MK

The Hills - MTV Shows

riddle me THAT.

2009-09-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

I came across this article in Glamour titled “11 Things Men Don’t Understand about Women” and thought I would be nice enough to do a little explaining for you little darlings…

“Why, oh, why, can’t you create a single, central location for your hair ties and bobby pins?!? And why is there one on the handle of the microwave?” —Chris, 26

Why, oh why can’t you create a single, central location for your change, receipts and wrappers? When you answer me that, I’ll let you know why my bobby pins are on the nightstand, in the bathroom, and on the coffee table. And why is there one on the microwave? Well, if you were cooking me dinner in the oven instead of microwaving a frozen meal, you wouldn't be asking, would you?

“Why are women so afraid of bugs but can regularly pour hot wax on their bodies and rip hair out by its roots?” —Justin, 22

Because if we don’t wax ourselves, we won’t have men to kill the bugs we’re afraid of. That’s why.

“Girls and drama! My God, it’s like an episode of Dawson’s Creek! He said, she said…it goes on and on for years. Do you ever get over an argument?” —James, 28

Of course we get over arguments, but it’s not our fault that you continue to make mistakes, now is it? (And for the record, I’m pretty sure Dawson was the biggest drama queen on the entire show. Don’t act so innocent, boys.)

“I am confused enough about why the onslaught of hormones every month, like clockwork, still takes me by surprise (the next day when she gets her period, I’m like, Oh! We got into a fight because she was hormonal!), but why does that fact take her by surprise? Shouldn’t she kind of realize it and be like, ‘Don’t listen to me—I’m hormonal’?” — Jake

Sure, and telling someone “we’re arguing right now because you’re drunk” usually goes over really well, too. And for the record, about 20 seconds into the argument, we recognize that we’re fighting because we’re PMSing..but by that point we’re too far in to admit it.

“I don’t get why getting married so soon is so important to most women. Is love not enough?” —Brian, 24

Of course it is, if love entails a big, shiny diamond.

“Why all the shoes? Really, my sister has suitcases full of shoes that I’ve thrown aside more often than she’s even seen them. It boggles the mind!” —Mark, 25

Why all of the ratty, old t-shirts, most of which are too short because you’ve been throwing them in the dryer for 5 years to “wrinkle release” them? Because. That’s why.

“I don’t understand their attitudes! Everything is good for, like, the first three months, but after that, it’s a whole different ball game!” —Danny, 32

When you stop being romantic after 3 months, we stop being nice. Works both ways, gentlemen, both ways.

“I don’t get why girls say one thing and mean something different. Like when they say, ‘You can watch the game,’ and then when you do, you get in trouble.” —Keith, 27

Because if we say what we really mean, we’ll come off as crazy. And then you’ll call us crazy, and we’ll get in a fight…probably because we’re PMSing.

“What I don’t understand is why girls really, really, really want that nice guy, but once they find one, they can’t date him because now they need a jerk.” —Rob, 26

Why do guys love flaky girls who rarely give them the time of day and overlook the ones who don’t play head games? Because everyone loves a challenge. For more information, see “You’ve really got a (Big) hold on me”.

“Why do girls not like other girls when they first meet them? It’s as if they have to prove themselves to each other before they’ll consider them acceptable to hang out with.” —Aaron, 25

Because we have a better read on girls than guys do. For example, “ohh of courseee my best friend (who happens to be a girl) likes you, she’s just REALLY protective of me.” In actuality, she does hate me, and she has liked you for the past 10 years. Trust us. We know girls.

“I don’t understand why women can’t just speak more directly. They always want you to do something, but they don’t put it in words. Instead, they talk around the issue. I wish they were more up front and just said it!” —Justin, 26

Because you don’t like to be told what to do, instead, you like to do things we “suggest” you do, that way you can convince yourself that you’re doing it because YOU want to, not because we asked you to. But if you’d like us to be up front, no problem – Please take out the trash, cook dinner, buy me flowers, make the bed, pick up some groceries, watch a chick flick with me followed by all of my favorite TV shows, and find a way to sleep through the night while making sure you’re constantly touching me. Thanks, you’re the best!

Did that clear things up a bit? Hope so.

MK

S/W/F seeking: a guy who sparkles.

2009-09-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

I have accepted the fact that I am becoming “that friend”, the one who everyone knows someone who knows someone’s brother that I’d be great for. The minute some of my friends found out I had come out of a relationship, they wanted to know exactly what I was looking for. I could ramble off a list of attributes, both personality wise and physically that I look for, but there is one thing that ranks perhaps the highest on my list, but that is often the most hard to find, and that’s passion. I don’t mean that kind of passion, I mean day-to-day passion. Something that makes a person get up in the morning and leaves them something to look forward to as they go to bed each night.

I am passionate about writing, my family and my friends. I am not the best writer, I make mistakes in my friendships and relationships, and every family has their quirks. Passion isn’t about being the best at anything; it’s about loving something so much that it gets you through each day. It’s what fuels someone’s drive (another must on my list) and sets someone’s goals. I think it’s so interesting to find out what people are passionate about. It doesn’t have to be something absolutely mind blowing. It could be work, family, friends, their dog, a sport they play, a hobby….but I just can’t quite grasp someone who is so even-keeled about everything they do, that they live life in a rather vanilla manner. I’ve noticed that the people around me who I know are passionate about something are the happier ones. They feel like they have a cause.

I have been fortunate enough to witness, first hand, people discovering what it is they are passionate about. I saw my college roommate realize she wanted to be a nurse during her senior year, forcing her to almost double her course load and throwing her into completely unfamiliar territory. She’s an ER nurse today. I saw one of my best friends recognize his calling to help people and he’s spending his 2nd year in the Peace Corp in Africa, despite reservations about leaving everything he’s ever known and coming back to see everything may have changed. Another close friend turned down a well paying financial job to take an unpaid internship on Capitol Hill after realizing that’s where he felt he belonged. Others have not been huge revelations, but still feats, nonetheless – I’ve seen friends return back to school to study what they love, devote weekends and evenings to a job they love, or take a 2nd job to help their family with finances. It’s a little sparkle in them and just when I thought I couldn’t love them anymore, I see it, and I do.

So if you want to know what I look for, it’s that sparkle. Tall, dark and handsome doesn’t hurt….but the sparkle? That’s the deal breaker.

Besides, I’ve never been a big fan of vanilla anyway.

MK

MKsdictionary.com

2009-09-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

A little while ago, my parents complained that they couldn’t understand my facebook status updates because they insisted that I had my own language. Considering they are probably the biggest fans of my blog…I thought I’d help them out a little and compile a little MKD Glossary.

Sick – often written or said as “that is seck…” or “sick me out”; most often used when describing any situation that rubs me the wrong way. For example, my response to Kanye’s interruption of Taylor Swift’s VMA speech: That is seck.

Aggressive -- should be used to describe any action done well, excessively, intensely or something that is just plain fabulous. We celebrated NYE in Charlotte with an aggressive champagne toast at the bar.

Resting face -- the way that one's face falls when not making a particular expression. Often is mistaken for standoffish or bitchy when relating to myself or someone in my social circle. Most used in my own motto: I'm not giving you a dirty look...it's just my resting face.

Omgahhh – originating from the days of Nick & Jessica’s show Newlyweds, this is used in place of “Oh my god”, and is often used as “gahhh” to reflect frustration or excitement.

FML – To be used when describing “why me” moments. My tire fell off my Suzuki while I was driving…FML. (True story.)

Hurricane Megan – my alter ego after being slightly overserved. Can also be used in the verb form “hurricaning”.

Tranquilizer Megan – my alter ego after being extremely overserved.

Ookie – the Suzuki Grand Vitara (RIP, moment of silence), also known as the “Oookie Suzuki”, “Suzuki sidekick”, “White wonder”, and “Suzuki motel”.

Ookie Jr. – my Nissan Sentra that in no way, shape, or form resembles the Suzuki…but I couldn’t call a car by any other name.

Lady – a term of endearment for any female friend of mine.

Weave-tastic – The constant state of my (or Sara Abraham’s) clip in hair extensions. (Not to be confused with “Joe Dirt”, which was my nickname when I had a half a head of extensions for roughly 2 weeks, leaving me with a long and quite awesome mullet.)

JSimps – Despite her recent downward spiral, I still take pride in this nickname. Can also be used on certain individuals (me) as a pickup line: “Anyone ever tell you that you look like JSimps but hotter?” Tried and true, my friends, tried and true.

That is not OK – Straight out of Katherine Hendricks mouth, this phrase can be used to describe essentially anything you are uncomfortable with. I just saw a homeless man in Burlington wearing my sorority letters…that is not OK.

Mellie Cocktail – a combination of 1 melatonin tablet and 2-3 glasses of wine. Goodnight.

GBF – any male best friend that I refuse to let myself ever become attracted to, therefore making them my official Gay Best Friend, regardless of their heterosexuality.

Really? -- To be used in place of “Are you serious?” or “Did that really just happen” and often has a better effect when used multiple times in a row. Really…REALLY?

GFA (not to be confused with GBF) – originating from the phrase “gayest face ever” in response to a person in a photograph…only yours truly incorrectly abbreviated it once and it has stuck ever since.

Reverend Al Sharpton – my nickname in the morning due to the ridiculousness of my hair.

AJCs – A friend (who will go unnamed) still owns underwear by Arizona Jean Company (AJC). This is equivalent to owning Jordache jeans and wearing a scrunchie. Enough said.

Magic Marker Eyeliner – What happens when you decide to “touch up” your makeup after a few drinks.

Housies – Because I’m too old to have roommates.

Synonyms for Megan – Deasy, Deaz, Megs, JSimps, Twofer, SGB, Mags, Meggie, MKMD, Moosers, MK, and the infamous Emily Rose.

And lastly, the list of abbreviations…

Miz – miserable
DG – Dirty Girl, see video from Rob & Big: http://www.mtv.com/videos/bobby-light/160111/dirty-girl.jhtml
Obvi – obviously.
Adorbs – adorable.
Boyf – boyfriend.
Awk – awkward
Reg – regular (as in “On the reg”)
Whatevs – whatever
Jeal – jealous
Obsesh – obsession
Inapprop – inappropriate

So there you have it, in my very own words.

MK

on being a lioness.

2009-09-11T07:23:00.000-07:00

I consider myself a bit of a chameleon when it comes to hair styles and colors, but I always seem to come back to being blonde. Whatever reasons came to mind after reading that statement, erase them, because my own reason is quite ridiculous to most. When I was a brunette, I didn’t get enough attention. (This is not a knock on brunettes, this is just a personal feeling about myself.) Yes, you read that right. I didn’t feel like all eyes were on me when I walked into a room, I actually didn’t even feel like people gave me a second glance and for a self-diagnosed attention addict like myself…this was unsettling. Before you roll your eyes and write me off as vain or conceited, read on. I feel there are three main factors to my attention addiction: my astrological sign, my family, and school.

1. I’m a Leo. For those of you who aren’t familiar with zodiac characteristics, another term for a Leo is “the Lion”, yes as in, the king (ahem, queen) of the jungle (although on another note, to my knowledge Lions don’t live in the jungle, correct?) . “They usually say what's on their hearts, and do not believe in holding back. The ego is strong in this sign, and although there are signs much more sensitive than Leo, it may well respond aggressively when it does feel its ego has been bruised. Leo people are not necessarily outgoing. When they feel comfortable, they do like being the center of attention. That is, they like being in the "spotlight" in the comfort of their own homes and with family and friends. They enjoy entertaining others, and often take on the role of comic. The worst thing you can do to a Leo is accuse them of bad intentions. Displaying behavior that makes them think you don't appreciate them runs a close second. These happy, jovial people become mighty hurt when others don't see them for their noble intentions. They are generally motivated by affection for people, and often have big dreams and plans to make people happy.” I dare you to say this is not 100% accurate in relation to me. (PS - Famous Leos include: Obama, Madonna, Bill Clinton, Martha Stewart, Monica Lewinsky (cringe), Lucille Ball, Jerry Garcia, Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Tell me those people don't LOVE attention.)

2. My wonderful family. We sat at home a few weeks ago, watching old home movies of us at Christmas time and it was at that point that I realized they had created a monster. I could see my parents cringing everytime one of them scolded my brother to get out of the way for blocking me as I opened my presents. My own family members taught me to “bat my baby blues” whenever I wanted to get my way (and yes, I still use that tactic…and it’s still just as effective.) On the same tape was one of my gymnastics classes. Every girl got a turn on the trampoline, little Megan Deasy got about 5 extra turns. I’m telling you, something about a 4 year old with a pot belly and a bowl cut really worked to my advantage (true story). Even through high school, my Dad videotaped all of the games that I cheered at. I mean, when you’re being followed around with a camera your whole life, how can you NOT expect to be the center of attention?

3. School. It’s no secret that I loved school. But it wasn’t until I was out of school, that I realized why. Instant recognition and attention gratification. I studied hard, was often over prepared, and would have rathered do an entire group project myself and just put everyone else’s names on it. And in the end, I typically got the results I wanted…whether it was an “A”, a “good job” or my name on the Dean’s list. And aside from academics, school, whether it was high school or college, enabled me to become a cheerleading captain, a dancing lead in the school musical, and Vice President of my sorority. Needless to say, my transition into the “real world” was a bit of shock when I wasn’t getting “A’s” on my weekly reports.

So am I addicted to attention? Yes. Is it my fault? Not entirely. I blame the stars, my Dad’s video camera, and the first gold star I ever got in school.

MK

you've really got a (Big) hold on me.

2009-09-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I spent my birthday weekend at the lake with a best girl friend of mine. It didn’t take the conversation long to get to the topic of guys, and when she admitted something that I had been trying to figure out about myself for awhile, I was both annoyed at myself and elated to finally hit the nail on the head. She recently started dating someone who was nice. He was a genuinely good guy, called when he said he would, and never left her worrying about a wandering eye. One would think this would leave a girl ecstatic, right? Not so much. I could hear the slightest hint of “ehh” every time she mentioned just how “nice” he was. And finally she admitted, “I just don’t know if I’m mature enough to date him and just accept that he is a genuinely good guy.”

It is no secret that girls tend to gravitate towards the not so nice guys…the ones who rarely call when they say they will, pay little to no attention to them, and leave them nervously wondering if they’re telling the truth. We can spot them from a mile away (they are generally the ones not looking in our direction…but perhaps in a nearby window staring at a reflection of themselves?). We make ourselves miserable enduring the highs and lows of these guys…and often tend to totally overlook the lows, while dwelling on the highs to make ourselves feel better. I think girls do this for a variety of reasons…the chase, the “I can be the one girl to break his bachelor habits” factor, insecurity, and so on. But I think the emotional maturity is perhaps the biggest factor that often goes unsaid. I think all of the things I just listed tend to fade as we grow more emotionally mature.

Then there is the Mr. Big factor. Yes, as in Carrie Bradshaw’s infamous Mr. Big. (If you are unfamiliar with who he is, turns out he has an entire Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Big_(Sex_and_the_City) ) That one guy in your life that has this hold on you. No matter how many other people he dates, where he moves (“you take a Napa, you don’t move to Napa”…sigh, is the sequel to SATC out yet?), the second he shows any sign of interest, you’re back where you started. I know there are girls reading this who are picturing that individual in their mind, possibly clenching their jaws and getting butterflies at the same time. Your life gets more complicated when this individual comes around, but man (no pun intended) do we love the pain. I think when you break this habit (or give him the ultimatum…whatever works), we are finally coming into our emotional maturity -- when we break loose of the hold, or at least recognize that the only person creating that hold, is ourselves. We let this someone make us feel a certain way…and eventually we stop…and realize (gasp) we’re just fine.

I don’t buy it that nice guys finish last…I just think they’re the dark horses in the race. We don’t initially bet on them, but in the end, they emerge to prominence. They are patient, they are kind (direct correlation to the bible verse about love, perhaps?). In fact, they’re the lucky ones. The ones who get us at our best. After we’ve retired the crazy, often jealous, guy-chasing antics. So whether you’re a nice guy or a nice girl (it totally works both ways), know that in the end you win…just get ready for a long, but well worth it, race to the finish line.

MK

singles club.

2009-09-08T08:57:00.001-07:00

...and my life officially just became complete with this website: http://stfumarrieds.tumblr.com/.

enjoy.

MK.

recovering from a 3 day weekend...

2009-09-08T07:30:00.001-07:00

a very random post...but i figured it went along with the disorientation one gets from starting the week on a tuesday...

I'm still kicking myself for not seeing this in the theatres:

I could have waited for it to come out on DVD (although staring at Bradley Cooper for an hour and a half is worth my 10.50, personally):

In Memory of Tony Wallace

2009-09-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well, know that this day last year was an extremely difficult one for myself and some very close individuals in my life. Today mark's the one year anniversary of Tony Wallace's death and although I know he would want us to celebrate life on this day, I can't help but feel my heart hang heavily.

I witnessed his couragous battle with ALS for the two years that I knew the Wallace family, and even up to this day last year, he fought the battle with a positive attitude and an appreciation for those around him. I was unsure of whether or not I believed in true love until I saw the devotion that Susan had towards Tony, every step of the way. I hold the entire Wallace family & close friends in my heart and thoughts today.

For those of you who didn't have the pleasure of knowing him, I thought I would include this article from George Mason.

Beloved Professor Receives Distinguished Service Award

The School of Public Policy (SPP) Alumni Chapter will present a special Distinguished Service Award posthumously to Professor Tony Wallace. His wife, Susan, will attend and accept the award at the memorial ceremony on Friday, September 19 on George Mason’s Arlington Campus.

Wallace died on September 4, 2008. He had been diagnosed years ago with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. Susan Wallace had mentioned that the knowledge of the award had bolstered their spirits markedly in his last few days. She also acknowledged how much her husband loved the school.

In 2004, Wallace retired from teaching because of the progression of the illness. A year later, SPP presented him a Lifetime Achievement Award at the spring convocation, recognizing him as among the best of the school’s outstanding adjunct professors.

From 1990 to 2004, Wallace taught courses in the International Commerce and Policy Program, including the Introduction to International Commerce and Policy. He also organized and led trips to Europe for those interested in the school’s programs overseas and was active in several university committees. Wallace loved teaching and working with students, especially enjoying the give and take of class discussions. He took a sincere interest in students and their careers, often keeping in touch with them long after their courses were finished.

Wallace brought not only a superior knowledge of economic and political theory, but also many years of practical experience to his teaching and students. Before joining SPP, Wallace was a deputy director for International Affairs at Westinghouse. He served for many years as a foreign service officer with the U.S. State Department, where he headed a division in the Office of Trade, directed export promotion activities in India, and helped negotiate international commodity agreements. He was also the author of publications on the U.S. economy and European Union affairs.

The Alumni Chapter’s Distinguished Service Award in Wallace’s honor recognizes his contributions to the hundreds of individuals who participate in the chapter, many of whom are former students and friends. Wallace was a remarkable teacher, and his lessons and contributions will continue to be felt and shared.

simple minded.

2009-09-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

“. . . when each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day the sun rises.”

When I read that line from “The Alchemist” by Paul Coelho, I thought about the importance of recognizing the simplest pleasures in life. I think it’s so easy to get caught up in waiting for big, life changing events, or to dwell on what’s going wrong around us.

So a few things that never fail to make me smile…

Clean sheets. I mentioned this in a previous post, but I think that my love for clean sheets comes from the feeling you get when you realize you’re dead tired…and forgot to put your sheets on your bed. And you stand there for a second and contemplate sleeping on your mattress without sheets (my Mom is cringing as she reads this, as it would be an unthinkable act for her) before finally sucking it up and putting them on, only to realize it took all of 5 minutes and was well worth it once your head hits the pillow.
Finding the coffee pot full. I have come across this miracle a few times this week, and before then, I rarely went into the kitchen at work to find an even half full pot of coffee. (Not to mention, there is a sign above the coffee maker that says “If you drank the last cup, please be courteous and make another” or something along those lines.) Apparently people have taken “the last cup” for interpretation because suddenly leaving 4 drops of coffee left in the cup constitutes that you are drinking the 2nd to last cup, therefore there is no need to take the 4 seconds to make a new pot. So imagine my wonderful surprise when I zombie walked my way to the kitchen at 8:15 to find a full pot of coffee almost every day this week. Glorious.
Random compliments from strangers. Of course its nice to hear compliments from the people around you, but when you get them from a stranger you know that it’s not rooting from any sort of obligation to be a good friend or significant other. They just, simply, like your shoes, or your hair, your outfit, your necklace, whatever it may be. I find that it’s even nicer to see the expression on a stranger’s face when you randomly compliment them. It’s like they get a little pep in their step from that point on.
Finding money in a pair of pants, an old purse, or anywhere. There is no explanation needed for this, but what I love most is that I instantly feel compelled to spend it. Yes, I’m a dollar richer, so I have to go spend this plus 4 other dollars on a coffee from Starbucks just because I can. (see: Not So Plastic Fantastic post to get further details on my spending habits).
Finding old CDs. I’m pretty sure that I made a CD for every weekend in college. Each of them appropriately titled things like “Colclough awesome mix” or “semiformal hotness” or perhaps the most classy title, “drunk”. (All of these being really descriptive titles that tell me nothing about what’s actually ON the CDs…but minor details). Nothing like suddenly remembering what your favorite last call song was in the spring of sophomore year. I’m telling you, it’s like finding gold.
Giving a gift to someone else. It can be for an occasion or no occasion at all. I love giving gifts. So much, that I have forced certain people in my life to open up their Christmas presents prior to Christmas just so I could see the look on their face as soon as possible. (This person knows exactly who they are.) I am a lost cause when it comes to setting financial limits on holidays…I do really well and then Christmas Eve hits and BAM there goes the rest of the available credit on all of my credit cards. I can’t help it. I love to give. (And no, that’s not what she said.)
Realizing its Thursday when you spent all day thinking it was Wednesday. Which means…tomorrow is Friday. Everyone wins.
Getting a card, email or phone call from someone you haven’t heard from in awhile. It’s always reassuring to know you can pick right up where you left off with some friends, no matter how much time has passed.
The feeling you get after working out. 90% of the battle is getting my shoes on and getting out the door. Once I’m out, I’m happy I went. I have never uttered the words “I really wish I hadn’t worked out”. In the words of Elle Woods, “Endorphins make you happy.”
Not hitting traffic while driving towards DC or Virginia. I have yet to experience this, but I figured adding it to the list couldn’t possibly hurt. Because I’m sure, when/if it does happen, it’s a wonderful, wonderful thing.

NFL season, occassionally (always) known as FML season.

2009-09-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

Every relationship runs into obstacles – money, trust, jobs – but my past relationship’s obstacle? Fantasy football. Yep, you read that right. My hatred for fantasy football goes hand in hand with my hatred for the iPhone, which if you know me well enough, I refuse to ever purchase just on principal at this point.

This time last year it was impossible to have a conversation with my live-in boyfriend. Regardless of where we were, out to eat, at a movie, in the living room, I could always see the screen of his (stupid) iPhone lit up and as soon as he realized I saw it would respond with “I just have to check this really quick”. It wasn’t the draft night that bothered me, in fact, I welcomed a night when my boyfriend could revel in being a guy while I could sit at home, watch my shows, and do whatever I wanted. (This is a luxury when you’re living in a less than 700 sq. foot apartment). When he wasn’t incessantly checking scores of 5 different games, he was trash talking his friends on an excessively long gmail chain about FAKE SPORTS TEAMS. I think it’s because I just can’t grasp the concept. I get that guys like to watch sports. Whatevs. What I don’t get, is how you POSSIBLY can get that into at team that is essentially IMAGINARY. Cell phone distraction aside, it was also impossible to watch any television show without missing at least 5 minutes post commercials because he insisted on changing the channel at every commercial break to check the score, which then led to “just 5 more minutes, then you can watch your show.” Thanks, really. I’m so glad I have permission to watch MY show, in OUR apartment, on MY TV.

I thought I was alone in this, but then I saw friends of mine do the same eye-roll and sigh of “whyyyy meeee” whenever their boyfriends mentioned the upcoming imaginary football team season. So, naturally, I googled “women hate fantasy football” and what do you know…I’m not the only one. I loved this guy’s take on it the most:

“Now, what do wives think about it? Wives hate it. At least mine does. She will plan out a specific time when she can Just sit down in the living room and watch Greys’ Anatomy, or a lifetime movie where women do extraordinary things and men not wearing sweaters are evil. I have to take the remote and turn the television on some random football game between two last place teams located 2,000 miles away because I have their kicker on one of my fantasy teams. She really hates that. I always knew that wives hate it, but I did not know were organized until I found Women against fantasy sports.com.

'Welcome to the gathering place for Women Against Fantasy Sports (WAFS). If you have ever felt the neglect of a loved one as a result of fantasy sports, we welcome you with open arms. We have some unbelievable stories to tell! Of course, we’d also love to hear your stories, so visit the WAFS UNITE section to share those. Also be sure to check out our apparel; you can proudly let the world know that you are taking a stance against fantasy sports!

(Courtesy of http://thefunhusband.com/2008/08/wives-hate-fantasy-football)”'

If I was still dating this individual, I’d be wearing this shirt every Sunday.

Possibly even Friday through Sunday.

Plus Monday- Thursday after work.

Maybe even under my work clothes.

MK

to change or not to change?

2009-09-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

Are people capable of change? This is a question I have toyed with for the past 3 years, ironically, as my life was nothing but change. I had stored it in the back of my head for awhile, until this past weekend when it resurfaced. 2 years ago, I would have said no. I thought people might be able to change their habits, but could never truly change their character. Today I take the opposite stance. I think people are very capable of change.

If only it was that simple.

I have seen people transform before my eyes in so many different ways. I have seen them grow, mature, or on the opposite end, I have seen them fade into the background. I have seen myself change from an anxiety-ridden insecure recent grad to a more confident, stable, positive individual. The common theme for these people who have changed for the better? They hit a point where they truly wanted to change, and the people around them allowed them to do so.

I was talking to one of my roommates about relationships and how they almost always involve some sort of change, and so many of my revelations about change came right out my mouth them, even before I had fully realized them. Change is not easy, it comes with growing pains, understanding, and patience. It comes with letting go of the "old" person, believing that they are capable of bettering themselves, but being patient when it takes time. Without every single one of those factors, it typically falls apart.

I know someone who was dealing with anger issues. No matter how many times I pleaded for him to seek help or at least talk to someone, it went ignored. He didn't see it, therefore he felt no change was needed. And suddenly something clicked - whether it was something externally - a person, an event, etc -- or internally, I'm not sure. But it was at that point that he was willing to accept that he needed this change and was willing to take action. You would think that's the hardest part, right? Not so much. I gave more pushback than I knew I had within me. I had built up so much resentment for his old self that I wasn't willing to give the potential, anger-managed person a chance. I just couldn't let go of the past, which only discouraged the other person. If you are going to suggest change to someone, you have to be willing to support them. With time, I let go. I put the resentment behind me, the bad memories, and the anger - both his and mine. I gave his new self a chance, and saw right before my eyes that people are very, very capable of change.

My friends, loved ones, and family did the same for me. They let me change. They withstood the growing pains, seeing the big picture, the better me. And I am forever thankful for that as I continue to grow and change every single day, a little bit more than the day before.

So if you're seeking change in yourself, look to the ones who are willing to be patient with you. If you're seeking change in someone else, get ready to be patient. And above all, believe it.

Believe that with a little help, support, and understanding you, or someone you know, is capable of becoming the best version of themselves.

MK

falling in love.

2009-09-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

(I plan on writing later today on my thoughts about whether or not people are truly capable of change...but for now something a bit more lighthearted....)

There is nothing I love more than the first sign of fall weather. While I'm sure we still have hot and humid days ahead of us, today the wind is blowing a little, the air is a bit crisper, and I'm in weather heaven. I don't know when it became my favorite season, but I realized every single story I wrote in college for my major had taken place in the fall. Why do I love the autumn season so very much...I'm glad you asked...

1. Pumpkin Spice Lattes. I walked into Starbucks this morning to see a sign that proudly displayed the seasonal return of this drink. I knew, at this point, it was going to be a good day.

2. The leaves change. My appreciation for this is most apparent when I'm driving home to visit my family in New Jersey and the landscape surrounding a usually quite bland 95, is bursting with reds, yellows and oranges.

3. Fall fashion. Sweaters, boots, corduroy...most people like summer fashion the best, I guess because it shows the most skin and is the easiest to throw together, but when I buy my fall wardrobe I can't help but feel like I'm back to school shopping all over again. (If only still on my parents credit card...)

4. Carving pumpkins. If I hadn't gone through 4 phones since this time last year, I would have a picture of the most AWESOME pumpkin I have ever taken part in carving...so I googled it and found the closest thing...but ours was like 50 times better, I swear! (I really can't claim responsibility for this, I lost patience after about 4 minutes and named myself the official assistant with the sole responsibility of holding the pumpkin while the other person carved it.) It's not even the actual pumpkins that I love, its going to get them. Last year, we visited a farm in the middle of nowhere, drank cider, picked out pumpkins, and listened to live music. It's my favorite way of celebrating the season.

5. Shadybrook farms. If you are from the Yardley area, you can appreciate this. I grew up terrified of the haunted house and hayrides at Shadybrook...and still am. But it was always an October tradition. I assumed these infamous haunted hayrides were not specific to the area, only to go to school in NC, convince my friends to find one, and have us end up at a haunted trailer. I kid you not. But yes, I was still scared.

So those are my reasons for being absolutely in love with fall. But more than anything, I love the first step out the door in the morning, when the air wakes you up more than a cup of coffee ever could...maybe even more than a pumpkin spice latte.

learning to crawl in the race to the altar.

2009-08-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

In college, I decided that there needs to be a line of cards designed for people who are at awkward stages of dating. For example, you just start seeing someone a few weeks before Valentine’s Day and the only cards out there are “Thanks for being my friend” or “I’ll love you forever”. Not exactly middle ground. While the “are we dating, are we not dating, is he my boyfriend, or is that not public knowledge” battle exists beyond college, I found that there is a new awkward stage that should be acknowledged – a relationship that is not new, that is fairly serious, but that doesn’t involve engagement just yet. Trying to explain that concept to some people in their 20’s and early 30’s is like foreign language to them. I kid you not, I’ve even had a person tilt their head to the side like a dog does when you talk to it in a really high pitched voice, simply because they just couldn’t grasp the concept. When I moved out of my apartment in VA, some people thought I was doing the unthinkable, while I took the mindset that this is something people do everyday – they move out, they break up, some people get divorced, for a lot of different reasons, but the bottom line is, these things happen – just because you date someone for an extended period of time, doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the person you’ll be spending the rest of your life with…and that’s okay.

I attended a bridal shower this past weekend and fully expected the onslaught of “so are you seeing anyone” questions, but still wasn’t fully prepared for them. People expect a yes or no answer, and what do you do when it’s not that simple? As soon as you answer “yes”, the next question is “sooo…is it serious…are you next?” and while I took the approach just shrug my shoulders, (awkwardly) laugh it off and change the subject, there is still a certain sting that comes with having to answer the question with anything but “yes!”. On the other hand, I’m not entirely sure why everyone deems it necessary to discuss who is getting married next, while attending wedding festivities. When you attend a funeral do you discuss who is next? No. (And if you do, I’m going to really need to reevaluate our friendship.) While I understand that these questions are being asked with nothing but good intentions, upon getting asked if I would be having children anytime soon, I almost choked on my gum and my only answer was a totally inappropriate laugh (that only Callie Graybill could truly appreciate).

I am beyond happy for my recently engaged and married friends, there is no question about that. Seeing one of your close friends so happy is a truly amazing thing. That being said, I am not engaged, married, or at this point close to it, so when conversations revolve solely around marriage, having kids, or anything else along those lines, don’t be surprised when I don’t have much to bring to the table. It’s not that I’m offended, it’s that I just can’t relate. And I’m fine with that.

Ironically, it seems that the so called in-between relationship status is more awkward for those around the couple. So before you ask someone if its serious, if they are next, or when they plan on having kids…remember that at one point in time, whether it was a few weeks ago or years ago, you were in the same position. You had been dating someone seriously, but just hadn’t hit that point yet. And maybe you never did, or maybe you’re married to them now. But you certainly didn’t start off your relationship as a married couple, so have a little mercy on us in-betweeners. We’ll get there.

And have no fear, we’ll be the first to tell you when yes, it is serious :)

MK

a walk in the park. (literally)

2009-08-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

Since I no longer have free access to a gym (I use the term "free" loosely, considering it was tied into my 1400 dollar rent each month in VA), I decided it was finally time to get out and about. I am definitely a morning person - if you know me, you know not to even bother calling or texting past 10pm because I'm usually in bed at 10 on the dot. So I figured instead of dragging myself out for a walk after work, I'd get up earlier and go then. What started as my morning exercise, has now become "my time".

As a writer, I love to people watch. It gives me the best inspiration and ideas for my writing. While there is certainly an interesting cast of characters in the city all the time, I found that the ones in the park in the morning are particularly interesting. For example, every morning - without fail - there is a man who walks very slowly around the park reading a book. I've tried figuring out what exactly he is reading, its large enough to be a text book. But he holds it out in front of him, and walks veryyyy slowly while reading. A peculiar, but for some reason to me, admirable habit. There are a handful of workout groups - yoga on the tennis courts, some sort of drill sargeant boot camp type group and a runners group. I have never been a runner and I'm the first to admit it. So amongst this group of runners, who initially intimidated me because I felt like they probably thought I was lazy for walking, the person who interests me the most is always the one falling behind. Maybe because I know that would be me in a group of seasoned runners, but I have to give this girl credit. She is not the thinnest girl in the group, she is not the most fit, but she gets out there, she runs, and she finishes out the entire thing. That is more than a lot of people that I know do all day, let alone before 7am.

So although the mornings in Baltimore may be when the sirens sleep (it is literally the ONLY time of day when I don't hear at least 2-3 types of sirens every hour), it is definitely still just as lively in terms of the people. So if you save your outdoor workouts for the afternoons, I suggest trying out the morning, just once. (It's at least 10 degrees cooler too). You might be surprised how much is happening while your head is still on your pillow.

I consider this the best part of my day - no email, no phone, no TV, no computer.

Just me and some of the most interesting people that I've never met.

MK

something to believe in.

2009-08-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

I admit it. Lately this so called "charming" city has failed to sweep me off my feet. I can't read or watch the local news without fearing for my own safety and questioning if I am insane for choosing to live here. But every once in awhile, I have to think back to when I moved out of Baltimore...and, to my surprise, missed it. In fact, I missed it enough to come back.

When I first moved back in April, I woke up every day remembering why I had missed it. There is a certain feel about Baltimore, a very small town feel within a city that I feel is quite unique to this area alone. Having lived in New Jersey for a little while, I know that people have plenty of pride in where they come from, but the pride that the locals here have, is something totally different. Take Honfest for example (http://www.honfest.net/) -- "HonFest is a local tradition. The Bawlmer term of endearment, Hon, short for Honey, embodies the warmth and affection bestowed upon our neighbors and visitors alike by historic working-women of Baltimore. HonFest is an annual celebration in honor of these women."

I adore the rowhouses that fill the city, most of them look relatively alike from the outside (although I find myself commenting on their choice of doors, I think it says a lot about the place, but thats just me), but inside they usually are totally different. Where else do you find houses that have an entire wall of exposed brick? Every house has history and character, quite different from the McMansions that are filling up many of the suburbs across the nation.

The other thing I always recognized about Baltimore is that it's an honest city. There is no sugarcoating that parts of it are dangerous and run down, and that they often are in the top 10 dangerous cities in the US -- but they also don't claim to be anything they are not. Most of the people here have a true desire to rebuild Baltimore, they see its potential. You'll see the "believe" stickers plastered over every street bench, bus stop, building, which I feel speaks truthfully about the citizens. (The "Believe" campaign was conceived as an appeal to citizens to do their part to save Baltimore.)

The biggest thing that I feel sets Baltimore apart from its surrounding metro areas, is that it is a blue collar city in every sense of the term. You will never get the "uppity" feeling that one often gets while strolling through Georgetown. The tenured residents of the city are often skilled in areas we often may take for granted - electricians, construction, plumbing, automotive technicians. They may not go to work in a suit and tie everyday, but they work just as hard, if not harder than the execs and the young professionals hopping off the metro in Capitol Hill each day. (This is no knock on DC, I didn't get a chance to experience the ins and out of that city otherwise I'd probably be writing about it too.) The residents are loyal to their roots and come with a "this is me, take it or leave it" kind of attitude -- one that can be appreciated in a society where it seems that everyone is trying to fit into one perfect mold.

So if you feel like your appreciation is wearing thin for wherever it is that you live, take a look around. Think back to why you ended up there in the first place. And above all, find out why the locals never left.

genius mean girl move #98938.

2009-08-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

I find this to be abbbbsolutely hilarious....

'My Husband is Annoying' is chock full of irritating traits of blog writer's hubby
BY Michael Lipkin and Jeff Wilkins DAILY NEWS WRITERS
Thursday, August 20th 2009, 5:04 AM

http://myhusbandisannoying.com/

She's airing their dirty laundry because he won't pick up his.
Tiffanie Wong of Brooklyn Heights recently started a blog to tell the world of her husband's annoying habits.
It's called, not surprisingly, "My Husband Is Annoying."
Wong updates her blog every few days to lament on some of her husband's quirkier antics.
"Obviously, I love the guy - I wouldn't have married him if I didn't," said Wong, 36, a technical director at CNN. "He just has annoying traits."
For his part, Wong's husband, WPIX-TV reporter Mark Joyella, sees the humor in his wife's blog and has no problem with the outside world knowing of his foibles.
"To me, it's kind of a tribute to all husbands," said Joyella, 43, who works for the weekend show "Toni On! New York"
"I'm sure all husbands have their own quirks."
Some of Joyella's most annoying habits, according to his wife's blog, include his love of fart jokes, the fact he wears the same zip-up green sweater in every family photograph and his inability to figure out the TV remote.
"I'll ask him to record a show for me and it ends up being Univision or something," Wong said.
"Have you seen that remote?" Joyella countered. "It has like 50 buttons on it."
The couple met in 2003, when they worked at Channel 5 news.
They started jogging together two years ago, then moved on to dating. They wed in March in a ceremony in Napa Valley, Calif.
That's when Joyella really started getting on Wong's nerves.
"Of course, I'm annoying - I've been saving it up my whole life," Joyella said. "Now that I'm married, I can let my guard down."
Last week, Joyella bought his wife a calculator for her birthday and took her out to dinner at a fast-food joint.
Rest assured, a description of the enchanting evening made its way on to the blog the following morning.
Joyella said he considers the blog to be a "green light" to be even more irritating than usual.
"If I'm doing something that annoys her, I can say I'm giving you material for the Web site," Joyella said.
"That's okay," his wife replied. "I don't need any more material."
Married women across Brooklyn loved the idea of a blog that takes aim at annoying husbands.
"A lot of married women need to vent," said Susan Green, a paralegal from East Flatbush. "My husband can be very annoying sometimes. He drops his clothes, doesn't do the dishes. I tell him to do the chores, but it doesn't work."
"Maybe this would shame him into changing," she added. "He can start his own blog if he doesn't like it."
Men weren't so thrilled about the idea.
"Where's 'My Wife Is Annoying' or 'My Girlfriend Is Annoying'?" asked banker Chris Hanlon of Brooklyn Heights. "I feel bad for the poor guy. But it sounds like a pretty funny way to pass the time."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/08/20/2009-08-20_my_hubbys_such_a_big_slob_her_web_site_is_full_of_his_irritating_traits.html#ixzz0OjY73YNY

downsizing my vocabulary.

2009-08-19T07:03:00.000-07:00

After graduating with a degree in English, I should constantly be working on expanding my vocabulary, right? Not so much. I have decided to take out two simple works. "Only" and "just". Why? Because I realized that I spend more time downplaying my every day activities and accomplishments than I do congratulating myself and after awhile, it becomes somewhat self deprecating. For example, the past two mornings I have gotten up an hour earlier to go for a walk in the park. (A result of my comfy, go-to jeans being a bit too snug without having been washed or dried recently...fail.) After I had gotten up the first morning, I was telling someone that I had gone for a walk and the sentence that came out was "it was just a half hour, twice around the park." In reality, its a half hour more than I was doing prior to Tuesday, its getting out of bed earlier than I need to, and its a step in the right direction to get back on my healthy routine that I upheld until my transition to Baltimore.

What I also have found is that people are more likely to respond in the same tone that you relayed the original information in. When I said that I just walked for a half hour, I noticed that the person I was talking to replied with the same sort of blase, "eh" attitude. But when I boasted that I had gotten up early and gone for a walk around the park, the reply was much more positive. So it's no surprise that the way we relay information to others has everything to do with how they might reply. So if you are looking for someone to encourage you in a positive manner, you have to show signs of positivity to begin with.

So stop downplaying your accomplishments, no matter how silly you might feel about celebrating them. Pat yourself on the back, reward yourself a little, you deserve it.

We often spend so much time thinking about what we coulda, woulda, shoulda (shameless SATC reference) done, that we overlook what we HAVE done :)

MK